blissfuldaydreams
Learning
Okay excuse my french but im flipping the f*ck out. I have a date scheduled for tomorrow. Its currently 3 am and I cant sleep because of the anxiety and anticipation. This is my first time talking to someone or going on a date with someone since my ex boyfriend. Im so scared. My heart and my gut want me to go but my head keeps telling me that he is going to hurt me just like my ex did. I trust him but at the same time I don’t trust anyone anymore. What if he tries to harm me and I cant leave? And if he tries to kiss me or touch me, what if im triggered and start panicking? He doesnt know that my ex boyfriend was abusive, should I tell him? I really like him and I want this to go well but im so terrified of interacting with him. I dont know if I can go through with it. I trust him but I trusted my ex too and that got me into this mess. So far there are no red flags, which maybe is a red flag within itself? He has been really patient with me as I cancelled our first two dates. He seems like a nice guy. But it could all just be a front so he can get what he wants from me. I dont know why but I have the overwhelming feeling to cry right now. I should probably give him a chance but what if I do and he ends up being the exact same? What if all I attract are abusive guys?