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I suggest not lying. That would never end well. If you don't feel ready to talk about it yet, then tell him exactly that. Maybe saying something like, "It's not something I'm ready to talk about yet, but I hope someday I will feel more comfortable discussing it." I still self harm, and no one...

Most of my life I thought forgiveness was coming to terms with the thing someone did and accepting it and then repairing the relationship with that person. I mean, that's how you end up telling someone, "I forgive you." Recently, I've been told that forgiveness is not that. It is what...

I have a few older pics of family around the house, but nothing recent. Nothing since I escaped. I never feel safe, so I think I never really want to settle into a place. I also don't really take pictures of family, so I don't have any.

OMG Yes!! This is so huge for me, and my therapist says it's common. I can know something, but believing it is so hard. I know the abuse wasn't my fault, but I still think it was. If I didn't do this, then he wouldn't have done that. I feel so unworthy even now, and I struggle all of the time...

I haven't experienced this, but I know of many who have, and it is not uncommon. Like Teasel said, it does not mean you liked it. It is just your body's response. Women who are sexually assaulted can also sometimes have their bodies react during the assault, and this can also bring shame, but...

I don't have any other friends, just what I guess you'd call acquaintances, or the people that I interact with. I keep everyone away from me and I stay distant and "safe."

I can relate to all of this too. I don't think it's whining. It's struggling. And we all struggle a lot.

When I first hear the word intimacy, I immediately think of sex. That terrifies me, but so does trusting anyone for emotional intimacy. I think of the emotional part after the initial thought of sex. Both are bad for me and triggers. I isolate a lot. I have one friend that I trust and speak to...

I am terrified of intimacy, both emotional and no way I'd ever be physically intimate with anyone ever again. I feel "ruined" too. I don't trust anyone. I don't want to trust, and I don't want to have a relationship ever again.

These are all really good reasons and scenarios. As far as the fall out/outcome of whether your sisters keep your confidence or not, you should be prepared for both scenarios. If you're not ready for others to know, then you may want to wait a bit to tell them. You have a right to your space...

I'm the same way too. I feel safer knowing as much as I can about a situation. That way I know what to expect because surprises were not good things in the past. So preventing surprises = safer.

Him, I always see him, my abuser. He's always there, doing what he does and even other stuff to terrorize me. I'm also running from something or someone that is trying to kill me, but I don't always see their face or even know what it is. A lot of the time it's animals attacking or trying to...

EMDR is such hard work. I often feel it for a while afterward. My therapist always tells me, "Self care, eat and get lots of rest." Often I'm dealing with a lot of emotion and other memories that decide to come up afterward, so I can relate to what you're going through and say it's normal. I...

Your therapist will not judge you, and if they do, then you need to leave immediately and find a new therapist. What you're describing is not uncommon for survivors, and your therapist has most likely dealt with it before. You don't have to go into any more detail than what you wrote here when...

You are not being overly sensitive or paranoid. Trauma anniversaries are real and we can feel them in our bodies even when we don't realize the date is approaching. Mine are in full swing right now and also go through the end of the year. Tomorrow is a big one, the day my son and I escaped. Most...

Welcome! I'm sorry that you are experiencing so many bad issues with your therapist and scheduling/communication. That by itself can make things worse. I wouldn't put up with any of what you're describing. I get that there are no therapists available in your area. I think that's becoming more...

I have always emailed my therapists. It took me a while to start doing it with each one, and like you I was worried about doing it in the beginning. I finally figured if they wanted to read it, then they would. If they want to respond, then they will. Either way, it's not a phone call (which...

I'm sorry that you're struggling right now. I just blurt it out to my therapist and literally say I'm having trouble and I'm overwhelmed. I know that is hard, and it took me quite a while to get to the point that I was comfortable telling him that. I also realize that he can't help me if I keep...

You are so strong and brave. And you are not stupid. I have so many fears about doctors, procedures, and dentists (I can't have someone standing over me, especially if I'm laying down). I haven't come close to doing what you're doing. I'm not doing anything- no tests, no doc visits, nothing. I'm...

If I'm walking down the tiled hallway, I count the tiles, or count the lines in the floor. If I'm sitting at a desk, I'll count the marks on the wall, or on the floor. Counting helps distract me and ground me. Maybe I'm weird, but it helps I also say stuff to myself in my head like, "you're...

Hello, and welcome. PTSD has a plethora of symptoms that we all deal with. I can relate to most of yours. I also lie to my co-workers and isolate as much as possible. I am in charge at work (I'm a civilian) and often feel inadequate, even though others tell me I am doing a great job. I just took...

There is this little thing called the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 (ADA) that prohibits discrimination. This doesn't mean all employers will follow this. I work for a company that has about 3K employees. Our department recently interviewed a new candidate and put an offer to hire...

Hello and welcome to the forum. I think you expressed exactly what the possibilities of any conversation with an abuser might be. Closure is always a good thing, and there are probably some people out there that can change and be truly sorry for what they did to abuse others. Personally, I don't...

This part alone, is a red flag for me. I know you said before that she is chronically late, but your session is about you. Her attention needs to be on you for that session, not the window, or the dog walker, or anything else. It's not only rude and unprofessional, it's unethical and at times...

I work in a hospital. In ER it's always chaos and busy. I wouldn't mention it when you first check in. I'd wait until you start to get physically checked by the nurse or doc, or if something comes up and you need to mention it sooner. They should be accommodating and understanding.