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That is a horrible thing for anyone to say and very irresponsible for a therapist to say. I have struggled with self harm for a while now, and I can tell you that therapy absolutely helps. You need to find another therapist. This one is scary. We can't "just stop" doing it. It's a coping...

Sara, I'm sorry that you are going through this, but you are not alone. :hug: It's so hard to make it through each day when life seems to drag you down. It might help to talk about it here and get your feelings out.

thanks Ms Spock. I figured I'd be safest with a man with me and I knew my ex would assume it was a boyfriend. I knew it would set my ex off, but I just didn't know how badly. I guess we provided a lot of entertainment for everyone else that was in the courtroom. :rolleyes: This guy is the only...

Thanks everyone. I'm glad we got to go first too. But the reason we did is because my ex went to the sheriff and demanded it. I guess he was so pissed to see me with my "boyfriend" that he went crazy outside the courtroom with the sheriff and they figured they should get him out of there as soon...

Hi Pinkcake, I'm sorry that you are having trouble sleeping and with nightmares. I have problems too. I sleep with a light on. It helps and when I do wake up I'm able to get my bearings a lot sooner so it also helps me recover from a nightmare sooner. I wish I knew how to stop this or what to...

Yes, you will! I too have looked up my abuser. I didn't know it was common either until I read this thread. I felt stupid that I was curious about him. I am sorry that you've had this bring nightmares and I hope that you continue to gain strength.

Just an update on this situation. I went to court today for the hearing on the restraining order and I finally got it! I was really stressing out over having to go to court and seeing my ex again and everything. I get really worried and stressed just thinking about any contact with him. It's...

I agree with Saffy. You aren't doing anything wrong by not having romantic feelings for him and by wanting to break up. He has helped you to come out and be able to venture off the farm, and that's great. But it doesn't mean that you owe him and need to stay with him. It does sound like you...

I know it's hard. I am living it too. Hang in there, don't give up, and know that you have a place here in this forum to chat, vent, and ask questions.

Hi Sorcha, the police want you to keep records of everything he does and says. I did that too and when I went back later on I was shocked at how much details I had forgotten about. It will help you for court and for the police to prosecute him. If he does anything threatening call the police...

Thank you for sharing maddog. I'm glad therapy is starting to help some, and I hope it gets better for you.

Me too. I'm having trouble remembering specific events. I have no idea what to do about it. I'll be checking this thread. Hopefully others will post some suggestions here!

That's right, you're not alone anymore! There are several threads on here about nightmares and being afraid to sleep. I just started one the other day. I sleep with a light on. It helps. I sleep a lot less/worse without a light on. I think it's my intense need to feel safe, and the fact that I...

Hi sorcha! I'm a domestic violence survivor too. I do some of the things you do as well. I keep a notepad near so that I can write things down. It helps me remember, especially when things are stressful and there are a lot of things going on. Like with the police coming to see you. When you...

Hi tll, I'm awake with you! I have nightmares and I hate it and can't control it too. It really sucks. It feels so helpless to be trapped in a nightmare like that. I usually stay up hoping to be exhausted enough to sleep and then hope I don't remember my dreams later on.

He sounds very controlling, like my ex. Everything has to be his way and he's always right. Might be best to just go on and live your life and not expect any explanations. And when he asks you something, ignore him.

This makes me angry to hear this. He's only doing this to make things easier on himself, not you. And that sucks.

You betcha! I know most of us have problems with sleep and it's so frustrating and scary. Hang in there.

Hi YogiBear! Sorry to hear your dreams have become uncontrollable. I've never been able to control mine, so I don't know what that's like. Does your therapist say that once you work on your trauma that your dreams will improve? I wish I could offer some advice, but I can only say I feel for...

I agree that you should stay with your parents for now. Let him know that he needs to contact you when he's ready. I agree that he should seek help. If he's verbally abusive to you, he may escalate. One of the bad things about PTSD is not having control over behaviors. Doing something to hurt...

Me too. It's sad that I've lived this way and been treated the way I was, but it's reality for me.

Yes, I'm embarrassed and ashamed and uncomfortable. But I also remind myself that's how the abuser gets away with controlling me. He relies on me feeling those things and on me not wanting to talk about it or expose it, or expose him. We were never allowed to talk about what happened in the...

I agree. My abuser would go off on me and then just a few minutes later act like everything was fine. It makes no sense. To this day he denies anything he did, and he always will.

Aww, that's awesome.

Thanks everyone! You are certainly right Whitney. He's crazy and scary and we are staying away from him. Well, except for the court appearances that I have to make where he will be there too. I'm not looking forward to those. :sour: