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I am so glad it went well Monster:) I can really relate to having a conflict with a therapist. I am currently angry with my therapist, I had a really hard session yesterday and explained how some of her actions made me feel unimportant and abandoned. I've been mad at her before, in fact...

Brooke- I really feel for you. When I was around 10, I was also touched by a doctor. My mom was in the room at the time and I thought there must have been a reason why he did it even though I was scared, no one explained anything and it felt wrong. Now I wonder what the rationale of him...

I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately too. I used to have nightmares too but don't have those much anymore, just insomnia. I wake up a lot throughout the night and then can't get back to sleep. I used to have trouble getting to sleep too but sleeping meds helped some with that...

Willowmarie-I see lots of red flags from what you described in how your therapist responds. I would personally be really bothered by some of therapists behavior had I been on the receiving end. She knows when you dissociate but doesn't do anything to help you get out of it. You are right...

I can really relate to the feelings people are mentioning regarding cutting off family members. I cut off my mom when it was clear she couldn't give me an actual apology for the abuse she put me through nor have empathy for the impact it had on me. I told her that when she was able to do those...

It is totally possible to be intimate after sexual abuse. I was sexually abused as a child and through my life many people also did not respect my boundaries. I got a lot of therapy and just kept trying to move forward when I could. I highly recommend reading books on the topic of healing...

I recommend the book, "Should I Stay or Should I go" by Lundy Bancroft. It was recommended to me by a friend when I was having trouble determining if I should stay in a relationship. The book really helped give me clarity on the situation and helped build my confidence on moving forward with...

The kind words and encouragement from everyone were really touching, thank you!

One of the things that helped the most were relationships. The foundation of this is long term therapy, I've been seeing my current therapist for about 3 years and I have a really good therapeutic relationship with her, she is able to handle me when I get angry, upset or hopeless. I've been...

I had a very abusive childhood and struggled a lot in my 34 years. I have depression and PTSD and coped with numerous compulsive behaviors, turning off my feelings and falling apart emotionally when I couldn't deal . I have been going to therapy for many, many years and can finally say in the...

I have hashimotos thyroiditis. It was discovered when my doctor noticed I had a goiter (thyroid is enlarged-my neck looks somewhat swollen where my thyroid is), an ultrasound was done and lab levels were done. The labs indicated my body was attacking my thyroid and I would eventually need...

It is very typical for the early stages of therapy to go over "superficial" problems like how the week is going, it takes time to build trust and the big issues don't get dealt with immediately for many people with complex PTSD. Additionally, perhaps the therapist is waiting until the right...

Wish you luck on taking medication. I was really resistant to taking medication for a long time and then I got to a point when I was having trouble functioning and I got desperate so I tried it. The right medication has really allowed me to get more out of therapy and function better. I'm...

Oh man do I know how you feel. I never learned how to make good friends growing up, never taught by my family and never had the confidence to feel like normal social skills would help me gain friends. I felt too damaged to feel like any skills I could learn could help me. I mostly had friends...

I can relate to feeling sad about what was lost due to dissociation. I didn't feel like I was human for much of my life due to dissociation and emotional numbing. I have kept hanging on for some reason though and it has gotten better. Still, I can't get back the years that were lost and it...

Couldn't have said it better myself. Sometimes some of the symptoms need masking so you can make headway in therapy or progress in moving forward. I was against taking meds for a long time because they didn't work for me in high school and I didn't like the idea of masking emotions that...

I agree with other posters who said it sounds like you had a lot of bad therapists. To be judged for your looks or told you absolutely have to stop self harming to get treatment, well it just sucks. Trauma usually involves losing control and to go into treatment and have someone else control...

I recently tried acupuncture again for my trauma and it has helped enormously. One of the keys for me was going frequently enough and long enough for it to take effect. Last year I tried acupuncture and maybe went once a week for a few weeks and stopped going because I didn't feel like I was...

Diagnosed close to 20 years ago, re-evaluated just recently, still meet the criteria for PTSD. I am doing so much better though, I have a lot more skills for coping and the symptoms are generally less severe than they were years ago.

I have been reading The mindful way through depression as well. It is so great, I wish I would have read it years ago.

I can relate to this. I sometimes need to wear layers of clothing to bed to feel safe, secure and protect myself. In the last 4 months, there were 2 occasions that I woke up to the maintenance men of the building doing routine repairs. I was working night shift and sleeping during the day, I...

Tlight- My jaw dropped when I read your post, I'm sorry you had to deal with this. The therapist calling you to her house and telling you in her 30 years of practice, your life was the worst she heard? To me this was the worst part of her unprofessional behavior. It seemed to be said in a...

Maddog- thanks so much for replying, what you said makes me feel less alone and I can relate to so much of what you said. Talking about it helps as well as having someone else empathize and relate, thanks again for replying.

I was sexually abused as a child and have what feels like body memories from the abuse. Many years ago, I felt like I had to pee all the time, no cause was found even after multiple tests and seeing a specialist. They put me on a medication and after a year I stopped taking it due to side...

That is how I grew up too! It takes time to reconnect with anger when you grow up in a house like that. I find what Abstract said was helpful in terms of actively looking for and identifying your feelings. It takes a lot of time and effort at first but the small successes build on each other...