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Shame. It’s sticky stuff. I’ve been working on my own feelings of shame for years and realised today that I’m still in it. Not even feeling shame about abuse or trauma - it’s not a feeling attached to a particular event. It’s all consuming, free floating, every area of my life shame. Logically...

my T and I have been really working on how I feel about myself and how that impacts the way I go about daily life. I tend to use keeping very busy as a distraction - a way to avoid feeling anything and from dealing with those feelings. Slowly but surely we’re unpicking that defence mechanism to...

I've been talking a lot in therapy about asking for help or support - which I basically don't do. Part of the problem is that I really don't know what to ask for. By way of example, at the moment someone close to me is very ill and there's lots of uncertainty about what's causing it. My mind...

It's not unusual for me to have weird dreams and nightmares - and for me to not remember the content of the dream but to wake up feeling very triggered, upset or physically sick. This is a new thing for me though so I though I'd check it out here :-). A couple of nights ago I dreamt that I was...

So, I've been working with my therapist for nearly 3 years, and she's great. Right at the start of our work, I wasn't wholly honest about a piece of work I was involved in - I was seeing her for issues about my work and she made an assumption about what I did and I didn't correct her. Not a big...

This question has been around for me for a week or so now, so I thought I'd put it out there and see what folks thoughts/feelings are. It's worth saying at the outset that I can logically, cognitively think about what I do and don't deserve, I think in thread I'm hoping to try and get under...

So, I spoke in therapy about my feelings about myself and some stuff that I find deeply shameful, struggles with intimacy and quite triggering work stuff. I also told her that when I sit with those feelings I want to hurt myself. Journaling today ahead of therapy this week I started focussing...

In therapy last week I had one of those "working on the relationship" sessions - I was feeling very unsure about how strong our relationship was for the next piece of work we need to do. At one point my T talked about her holding me safe, as you would a small child, and while that felt secure I...

...when you know ahead of time you're about to be more vulnerable than usual in therapy! My T and I discussed me sharing some writing I've done as a way of helping me disclose stuff that I've really struggled with. After talking about it, I felt ok - actually for my therapy to move forward...

I have been skirting around the idea of self acceptance in therapy for a while now, there are parts of me that barely acknowledge much less accept and I guess I saw self acceptance as a destination - somewhere warm and cosy, a soft place to rest in if that makes sense. So, I've been waiting to...

This is a thought that I'm really still trying to make sense of and wondered if others here might understand what I'm meaning. I've been working on my self esteem, sense of self worth and self care in therapy over the past few months. I'm in the process of changing jobs and yesterday had a...

I'm one of 4 siblings who experienced significant levels of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of both parents growing up as well as witnessing their extreme violence to each other. While the nature and extent of violence in the family changed over the years, it's fair to say we all have...

I'm feeling incredibly anxious today, not entirely sure why. I'm off work at the moment having taken a panic attack at work, I couldn't get myself grounded at all and panicked on and off for about 90 mins. I know what triggered the panic attack and it is specific to my working environment. My...

I have some long standing issues at work relating to bullying by my line manager, I was placed with a temporary manager for a year while they sorted out mediation and they finally returned me to bullying manager at the end of January. At that time I asked for specific supports to be put in place...

I've got a lot on my plate at the moment. Work is hard, home is hard, I've made some changes to relationships etc that have been hard - generally speaking things are difficult on just about every front. One of the things I'm struggling with though, is how to express any of that emotionally to...

I just had a realisation that I feel scared all the time. It ranges from low level apprehension to full blown panic and terror but there isn't a time of day when I honestly feel completely without fear. I mask it well by faking confidence, I put myself in situations that help me face fear or...

I've been in therapy since January, initially for workplace issues and more recently looking at childhood physical abuse and sexual "stuff". I say stuff because I'm working on feelings around a relationship with a 36 year old man that started when I was 15, he started coming on to me in my place...

I'm on holiday just now and in our last session my therapist suggested I do some journalling around my opinion of myself - given I tried and couldn't articulate my thoughts and feelings about myself and its something I know we need to work on. So, I've been thinking about how I feel about...

It's that time of the week where thoughts turn to my next therapy session. I've got thoughts kicking about my head that I will talk through with my therapist but I'm not sure I make sense to me much less anyone else so thought I'd voice it here first and see if anyone else gets what I mean...

This week my therapist asked me if I had forgiven my parents for their treatment of me growing up. Not in a judging way, thinking that I should have but more out of interest. I said I hadn't and she asked if I more had a sense of acceptance and I replied that I did. Thinking about it though, I'm...

So, I've been seeing my therapist for 6 months. She seems to really get me and has helped me enormously, about 6 weeks ago we talked about moving from a cbt based approach to a more humanistic approach using our relationship to help me address significant abuse issues. Since then I've struggled...

This might belong in sleep rather than flashbacks, I'm not sure. My therapist and I have just started to unpick older memories of past trauma - I mean we've literally just talked about what that might be like and she's tried out a process for exploring these issues using something that feels...

Today my T and I talked about vulnerability, I tend to not show vulnerability to the point of never asking for help or support or showing that I'm struggling with something. Acknowledging I'm having a hard time coping with particular issues and seeking help has been a massive step for me and the...

I'm in therapy at the moment, initially to deal with workplace bullying but now starting to look at childhood abuse. The bullying took place over a period of 6 years and involved my direct line manager who, due to the type of work I do, provided emotional support as well practical/managment...

My therapist has been on holiday and tomorrow is our first session in about 3 weeks. Before she left we had a really difficult session where I ended up dissociating and stuck in a loop of really hard feelings - probably an emotional flashback now that I think about it. At the time I knew what...