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  1. U

    Nightmares about people trying to kill me?

    I have had many in my life but 2 or more nightmares about people actively trying to kill me, in the last week to ten days. Last night was the most recent. To my knowledge no one has ever actually tried to kill me or been physically violent against me beyond csa. That’s another matter entirely...
  2. U

    Medical Cis-female CSA survivors, how do you cope with gyn exams?

    I am cisgender female (although I do have co-occurring DID as well as CPTSD) and a csa survivor…I have complete visual amnesia for everything csa related that happened before age 17, but I struggle a LOT with body memories, both external and internal in my lower body. Discomfort, unexplained...
  3. U

    DID Being in a relationship when you have DID

    My boyfriend has been hurt a lot in his life (childhood trauma, and his high school fiancée died before they could get married, etc.) and he’s also been hurt a lot by women specifically, which leaves him with a lot of insecurities about infidelity in his relationships. He is a recovering drug...
  4. U

    DID Probable DID diagnosis?

    I got out of the complex trauma/dissociative disorders unit about a month ago, with a definitive diagnosis of CPTSD (PTSD for insurance purposes, of course.) There is also a probable DID diagnosis, the one being ruled out is OSDD. I definitely have parts, and I have seen myself switch, and so...
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    Two people with CPTSD as a couple?

    Do you think two people who each have CPTSD from lifelong trauma can be in a successful romantic relationship together and if so under what conditions? I’m reconnecting with my ex boyfriend who I broke things off with in October because we both needed to focus on ourselves. We are both sexual...
  6. U

    Discouraged

    I’m not sure how much longer I can keep fighting, guys. I’m losing my mind at my safe mom over the tiniest things. I’m discouraged that I have to be hospitalized. Again. It’ll be approximately the 35th time in my life. I’m unreasonably frustrated that the referral process takes this long. I...
  7. U

    Body memories all day from chronic sexual abuse/assault

    Ok guys I’m not doing great and I’m still brand new here and finding my way around so if I say anything too bad or messed up just tell me ok? I have been having pain much of today, I have not had sex of any kind in I think 7 years, very much by choice because I’ve been flooded with trauma...
  8. U

    Has anyone tried Rexulti as a treatment for severe dissociative symptoms?

    Hey so my Psych NP put me on Rexulti 1mg because she said if I go to shepherd Pratt as is I will be too dissociative to participate and get the most out of it. She said I’m not psychotic even though it’s an antipsychotic. She said it’s also an antidepressant. I have a chosen family and my...
  9. U

    Self harm to control dissociation?

    I don’t know where to post this thread, so feel free to relocate it, mods. I relapsed yesterday after 29 months and 13 days. I relapsed after my therapist faxed in my referral to shepherd Pratt complex trauma hospital. I’ve been fighting not to relapse for months and yesterday I failed. I did...
  10. U

    In PTSD/CPTSD terms, what is the difference between “outraged” and “enraged”?

    Because actually feeling anger and it’s derivatives are new to me in the last 6 months (since I started withdrawing from Trilafon.) I seem to feel both “outraged” and “enraged” at the same time a lot, and sometimes just “rage” at the same time. For me “outraged” feels like I’m SO angry because...
  11. U

    Sufferer I'm new/severe complex trauma brain dump

    Hi everyone. Get ready for the new girl CPTSD brain dump, ADHD nonstop word vomit style. I am sorry if this is way too much. I’m terrible at intros. I'm cisfemale (she/her) I have been asexual for the past 7 years due to a lot of childhood/adolescent trauma starting to come to light in my 30’s...
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