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The narcissist / codependent dynamic is well written about....Dr Ross Rosenberg. They will not change, but we can address our codependency related to this issue.

Types have this disorder. They just are not codependent...we are. It is a highly complex multilayered issue, I have studied my whole life.

EMDR can be very hard. It takes you back and you feel everything fresh. If done properly it can close the loop. Up leveling the traumatic feelings that were repressed and avoided is key to releasing them. This "feeling" your way to health is daunting but effective. It is hard because repressing...

My mother had borderline personality disorder, then I married two narcissists, one classic, the other very covert, passive aggressive. I stopped contact with all of them at some point. Why? They were what they were. They were not going to change. Plus, it was the only way to protect myself from...

Are you doing EMDR?

I would see as a sucess. Therapy is hard. I believe in feeling your way to health. I had to learn to feel. Trauma makes us repress to survive.....we avoid it. All that negative feeling is still there, waiting to be felt, processed, and released. This daunting, but has been very effective for me...

Narcs are big bullies. Think through any threats he may make and verify if they truly carry any weight. Sometimes, they are all hot dramatic air. Remember they feed off of your emotion. If you must respond be neutral, calm....If they can't get to you, get a rise out of you, push your buttons, or...

She will have to find her own way. We can't help, change, love, anyone into a healthier plane. Acceptence, understanding, support, all go a long way, but ultimately she will have to want to face her fears, tolerate them, not act on them, and let them disapate on their own. I know what I'm facing...

Melanie Tonia Evans videos. Learn to do gray stone method. Only only believe your perspective and reality. Be prepared when you leave you will go through withdrawl. Nothing about this process is easy but it is doable. You must be kind to yourself, believe in yourself...period. gaslighting is a...

Yes, I believe getting in a healthy relationship is triggering. Now, I have complex ptsd, from an abusive, neglectful childhood. This was followed by repeating the pattern in two marriages..more abuse and neglect. I have fearful/ avoidance attachment issues as a result. My therapist told me the...

Trauma bonding....and just plain withdrawal symtoms. When we are in an abusive relationship, there is an addictive component due to the intermittent reinforcement. This pattern was usually started in our childhood.

It is very very very hard as you have to FEEL your way to health. All the the grief and all the fear and all the anger. It takes a level of courage I have found to be unmeasureable. My healing was messy, all over the place in an insane manner. It took a commitment of love I had to give to...

Depending on the age of the child they may have no concept of time, and their perceptions will reflect the life experience they have for that period. When I was able to access my infant abuse the endless feeling of grief and terror were just that...endless...bottomless. A child has no concept of...

I knew I was healing when I was able to tell the difference between a flashback and intuition, or even better the two at the same time. I know I'm healing when I can figure out I'm dealing with a narcissistic person early enough before letting them too into my life. I know I'm healing when...

As a nurse, I educate. I tell my story, andeven among other RNs, there is judgement. I simply always add to my story, unless you have experienced what I have or are a shrink, you won't get it....period. My acceptance and understanding is what matters. my ability to radically accept what I...

What do you want? Feelings aside, if he is not healthy enough, taking action to heal himself and all self accountibility that comes with this choice, then I would move on. Love does not fix all, shrinks have the degree. Personally, I would set boundaries, leave the door open, but move on with my...

There is an addictive component to this type of dynamic....trauma boding, etc. don't judge yourself, just continue to not act on it.

Local domestic violence center can be helpful...they have support groups, know how to word a restraining order, etc.

For me, I know I am shifting when I feel passionately gratful. I know when this feeling hits me to the point of tears. I am gratful for life. I'm very gratful for not giving up on myself...ever. I take stock in my life and am grateful for all of it....even the trauma. it has made me stronger in...

What we resist . ..persists. ....feelings are meant to be felt...not just the nice ones..obviously. The harder ones are the ones we resist...the ones that trigger..the ones we have buried. They are always there..for years even. They wait sometimes endlessly for the chance to surface and finally...

Yes, tell him everything...however, no one has the right to expect their partner not to have sex in a marriage. This is a reasonable expectation. You need to be willing to do any and all therapies available to heal your trauma. It is your trauma, your feelings, and it is possible.

I repeated my pattern of emotionally unavailable boyfriends/spouses. At 53, I finally decided to end this completely. I'm working on up leveling and resolving my childhood wounds so I can "pick" better next round. Our subconscious will pick for us until we have done this. EMDR is helpful over...

I have early attachment, neglect, and abuse as an infant. When I flashback, there is no CONTENT, no obvious trigger that I'm aware of, and consist of raw feeling with a lot of body sensations. They seem gripping, timeless, and I feel hugely vulnerable during them. I had one a week ago that last...

My mother was BPD with a strong narcissistic component. She was very manipulative, lied, and played family members against each other. It was very easy to tell when she was fearful or PTSD triggered versus stacking the deck for her own attention needs.

DBT suggests using sensory input to ground. This could be anything really, sight (look around the room naming out loud objects, color, etc., all done with intention...mindfully), hearing, smells, touch....you could even create a box with various items in it to use during a flashback. My problem...