Other Stockholm syndrome?

[Lambchop]

I feel like I must be experiencing some form of maybe Stockholm syndrome in relation to my previous abuser but I'm not sure. My ex boyfriend was terrible to me, he sexually assaulted me and at the worst point of our relationship tried to slit my throat. But at the same time I can't stop thinking about him and talking about him and in general just desperately wanting him back in my life!! Its getting completely insane because its been 7 months since cut off, but I still feel this way so strongly. Is there a word for this? Is this normal?

 

[selfcompassion]

I feel like I must be experiencing some form of maybe Stockholm syndrome in relation to my previous ab...

Trauma bonding....and just plain withdrawal symtoms. When we are in an abusive relationship, there is an addictive component due to the intermittent reinforcement. This pattern was usually started in our childhood.

 

[EveHarrington]

On behalf of those who fit the very specific requirements of Stockholm syndrome, I am going to tell you that no, you do not (can not) have it from this relationship.

Stockholm Syndrome involves bonding with a stranger, a captor.

Bonding with an abusive partner does not fall into this category.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I was (as in past tense) advised by my therapist I had Stolkholm. Though in my case I am sure it was some mixture of Stolkholm and Tramua Bonding.

Personally, I say stay away from termology, in general, unless advise by a therapist.

In this case it sounds much like batter's women's syndrome or something of the sort.

No, it doesn't sound like Stolkholm, which has very specific thought patterns and behaviors.

It is known for captive situations. In my case, it was a cult.

Here is a good read:

Stockholm syndrome is not merely a condition developed in victims of kidnappings or hostage instances. It can also be applied to a wider variety of situations, inflicting victims of domestic or child abuse, “human trafficking, and incest. Prisoners of war, political terrorism, cult members, concentration camp prisoners, slaves, and prostitutes” can also be fall prey to Stockholm syndrome.[4] It is believed that women are especially subject to develop the condition.[7]

Stockholm syndrome - Wikipedia

But personally, it took me about 6 or so years to work past the stolkholm and I can say that just thinking about being with them, it is much, MUCH, more deep then that. MUCH!

I'm not a therapist so I would however seek a therapist's opinion.

 

[Silver.]

We have gone over and over the argument about stockholm syndrome. You can get stockholm syndrome from staying with an abusive spouse. Stockholm is not reserved for kidnap situations, just as PTSD is not reserved for Vets.
Do you have to agree with it? No, but it can and does happen.

Lambchop, in your case, it does indeed sound like trauma bonding as others have stated, and it would be good to try and work through these feelings with a therapist

 

[Justmehere]

Lambchop - Stockholm syndrome is more well known than the effects of typical domestic violence trauma bonding. Stockholm syndrome is one type of trauma bonding and there are others. They are all very difficult to endure. Whatever form of trauma bonding you may have (only a health care professional could diagnose for sure) it is a good sign you are suspecting that your draw to your abuser is a sign of traumatization -- and that's really important to remember.

Trauma bonding happens as a way to psychologically and physically survive trauma. It carries life and death weight and can be hard to break. Women who have been abused by their ex partners tend to return to their ex's at much higher rates (some studies say 7 times more often) than those who broke up with someone who did not abuse them. That's trauma bonding.

As others have pointed out, working with a rauma therapist can really help to reduce and undo the effects of trauma bonding, whatever type you may or may not have.

 

[aut555]

I feel like I must be experiencing some form of maybe Stockholm syndrome in relation to my previous ab...

Feel your despair but also see your hope that you are reaching out for help and trying to understand. You are opening this door. My question is can you see what the good thing were that drew you in and kept you hoping for more. Was it a closeness, perceived love, attraction? If you can sipher through the positive and put the negative aside, you may understand yourself better and not judge yourself for wanting this relationship. You have to get past the shame, blame, desires of this. The very poor parts of this relationship can only result in pain. Can you look within yourself and ask why you do not deserve better. Why do you feel your life isn't worth more, why should want this? Do you have any child abuse issues? Hope there is something for you to grab onto and try to look at yourself. This individual will abuse and hurt the next victim in his life, don't let that be you, please. One in three woman suffer from domestic abuse. Please don't be part of this.

 

[joeylittle]

@Lambchop - if you don't mind my asking, how long were the two of you together? Was it always abusive or did it become abusive over time?

 

[Lambchop]

@Lambchop - if you don't mind my asking, how long were the two of you together?...

It was a year and it was pretty much abusive the entire time, the honeymoon period was fairly short

 

[Lambchop]

We have gone over and over the argument about stockholm syndrome. You can get stockholm syndrome...

Thank you!! I will mention this to a therapist, I'm supposed to be getting one that specializes in trauma at some point in the near future