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@Pixielicious
I Don't Know, I get very confused when I try to analyse myself.
Probably the confusion happens, when we try to grasp intellectually, the emotions dont quite ride along without discrepancy? When I try to see things rationally, my emotional state gives me signals that seem to be very opposite. What do you think?

@Bristol1485
I guess once everything is dealt with then you can approach being critised and such by people and not see a direct threat because there isnt but certainly because my experiences happened while my personality was forming its always going to feel like a threat esspeically from guys but it must be a good habit to break.
Very true.
 
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Yes, I hate authority. It makes me panicky and angry. I tend to avoid people and struggle in the work place because of this.
 
@Bristol1485

Yes its not easy. When we have to constantly fight those influences....
What we resist . ..persists. ....feelings are meant to be felt...not just the nice ones..obviously. The harder ones are the ones we resist...the ones that trigger..the ones we have buried. They are always there..for years even. They wait sometimes endlessly for the chance to surface and finally be felt..validated, honored, accepted, embraced. all this we must do for ourselves. embrace the feeling..let surround you...let it happen...eventually it will lessen...surrender everytime while in a safe place. Do not judge your feelings or yourself for having them... grief was never ending for me. it happened over and over, and hit like strong ocean waves. I would say the majority of the time, I didn't have a clue where the feeling was coming from. however, this didn't matter. I have done this very process a thousand times over. It is hard, agonizing at times, but so incredibly freeing...nirvana.
 
""Do not judge your feelings or yourself for having them... grief was never ending for me. it happened over and over, and hit like strong ocean waves.""

@ Selfcompassion

its definitely one of the hardest things to do. The moment I feel a certain emotion that makes me feel weak (Makes me, means I probably judge it as weakness) I shut out, I try to distract myself. Being in that moment is painful, and as long as I run, and I dont face it, the harder it gets. The mind knows but not my heart. I wonder which heart language one needs to get there?
 
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