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Admin, please remove the thread. It mainly shows the best way to not heal, not from how others reply to me but in how i am focused. It has too focus on the actions of another in ways to judge when not knowing reasons or when maybe there is some muddy grey areas where judgement can lead to...

Administrator, please remove this thread or at least the last post of it, thank you. Take care

One last word before going. I still wonder about gender issues and what if a male porn star followed someone onto an online game saying "i'm horny, i'm horny" then followed them into a store, all of this after the woman posted about him on her facebook saying she is confused as she thought...

Thank you Suzetig, what you say is much appreciated and maybe very very sound in reasoning. My last therapist was maybe too cognitive behavioral and too proudly so. By too proudly so challenging cognition seems to be central to CBT, but challenging events reality can be especially painful...

I came back to copy one message into my journal. Was feeling like much was pretty pointless in trying to heal from anything. Saw what you said and what you said made a difference, a needed difference. What you said about experiencing exactly what i have written may mean more to me to hear you...

Was thinking about leaving the site and simply asking for the thread to be taken down. Regarding symptoms. Flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance of the place where it happened, hypervigilance, and irritibility. As stated, my now leaving psychiatric nurse practitioner said that she always...

Sorry for this being hard to follow. It first it was a concern, but then it did become an obsession admittedly. That was based on the synchronicity, much of which was pretty hard to explain. If not for much of that i would have gone on with my life, which looks like that would have been best...

Thank you RavenGirl. Yes, i am hurting. it has been hard in that there has been more effort in trying to be believed as there has been in any actual healing. The hurts from disbelief has made things horrible. My old T was maybe trying to find too too many ways to disbelieve. More effort was...

This is long. My apology as there is an unusual story behind it all. If you make it through, maybe you will understand WHY people are having a hard time believing. Thank you all for the responses. The last couple of days i went through a ton of feelings. Sadly, i am less caring and feel less...

hard to talk, but not sure what never apologize has to do with PTSD. most of us when having any symptom cause problems feel horrible or if symptoms go into anything near psychosis or into it because we get battered down by our symptoms we feel all the more rotten for how we were. good luck...

not sure why writing. nearly no hope left. disbelieved about something so much that the pain from that has kept me stuck in pain. it was a very very unlikely event. the person with whom it happened will not corroborate it. can i get through trauma alone? hurting all the time. worn down...

Hey there Dashboard. DID can be pretty scary for some people. Dissociation can also be a matter of degree. I have parts, but all parts of me are coconscious. There is a difference between that and having alts whose memories i don't remember. For you whatever degree that is, it is so you can...

Good to hear she is really nice. She sounds concerned you not be manipulated or left alone in your pain when you are crying for help. It sounds like the nightmare you are having is pretty scary and you feel abandoned by others in it. I hope you will get the support from her and support here...

Oh on those tasks between sessions, please don't get on yourself too much if you simply couldn't to those at times. My therapist had a few frustrating moments with that at times yet didn't fully understand i was probably needing to be inpatient as i was not able to function much at all anyhow...

Flashbacks, paranoia, and lack of trust does make life go much tougher. That you are going to therapy to help ease all of that is tremendous. Getting support here is a good idea as we can all use more support and softness when things are tough going. That a different approach was tried that...

I have parts also while not being DID multiple type. Understand how you mean. Some of mine are kind of missing right now, behind some painful stuff. Depersonalization i've also struggled with at times lately. Good luck with that getting better for you. I wonder with the distractions if it...

Is good that you have a safe friend. Support through the healing is so essential. As such you getting support here i hope will be helpful. It does take some courage to get into therapy. Knots in the stomach can be pretty normal about such things. Best to you in it being a great team with...

I am sorry for the assault that happened to you. You are describing a lot of PTSD symptoms for what you are going through. Such said you apologize for being all over the place, well being hyper organized and this don't always go together so well, so please be gentle with you during hard times...

Good luck with your healing. If you are afraid of going forward with any false accusation, can you give the EMDR a bit of time to help you find out what is what? That you moved so that your ex will not be able to hurt you i hope will help you feel safer. It sounds like you had it pretty rough...

If you have no feeling for toxic people then maybe your heart has shut down to them in self defense. It can do that even to non-toxic people after you have felt deeply hurt. Just try to do the right thing by other people as you can, regardless of how they are, and that is at least something...

I have not had EMDR but there are many here who swear by it. That you are seeing a 2nd therapist for the EMDR you will not have an already established trust relationship there, but i hope that what is brought up can be taken back to your original therapist. I am not sure how it works for the...

The recent event seems to really have triggered you. For most people it would be scary after such a threat. For you it brings back more, especially if you had gun based issues already and you didn't know if the person who just made the threat had one or not. If feeling unsafe in public and...

I am sorry you feel unloved by an inner child. That would hurt deeply. I hope that there will be healing within for how you and your inner child get along and how each feels about the other. The pains we take in are sometimes aimed at ourselves it seems sadly. You did not deserve this. Can...

Need an edit button, my apology for any misunderstanding. I am kind of at a muddled place today and a bit struggling so making sense of stuff isn't ease. Read back and it sounds like your trust is very understandably hurt. Mine would be. If you do not trust the apology is genuine that would...

I am so sorry for the pain you must have felt in this. You are doing the best you can and it is harder for you as things are to work in the ways you could before. If you felt in any way your feelings all boiled down to money issues that would hurt deeply, especially after 8 years. Things are...