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  1. J

    Emerg Services Still certain i am to blame

    I am sorry you're going through this. I don't have a similar experience, but I have dealt with/dealing with a lot of grief. But let me share with you something that I hope you can relate to: the film Ordinary People. It's about a young man dealing with the death of his brother, whose death he...
  2. J

    Childhood I was an anxious and angry kid, and that made me a target for abuse.

    I can relate. I also, growing up, 'provoked' my father and brother into beating me. I remember once getting angry and punching a window, cracking it. Boy did I get it that day. I don't think this is about control. Much like you, I rarely acted out outside the home. Something about this being...
  3. J

    General Is my partner abusive?am i crazy am i selfish?

    Completely agree with both of you. My post really under played the severity and the outright abusive nature of the relationship discussed in this thread. Anger is a symptom, but how one choose to react to that anger is one's responsibility. Its a corner stone of CBT - separating the feeling...
  4. J

    General Is my partner abusive?am i crazy am i selfish?

    Let me abstract my comment a bit. Irrespective of the case at hand, I don't think it is appropriate to say " I know someone with PTSD and they don't behave that way." I have two veteran friends with PTSD. One is withdrawn and isolates himself; the other constantly on edge and likes to get into...
  5. J

    General Is my partner abusive?am i crazy am i selfish?

    I said it was irresponsible to compare two cases of PTSD. And no, both anger and raging (product of hyperarousal) are symptoms - this doesn't make it right, or ok, or forgivable. It doesn't mean that the OP should stay with this man.
  6. J

    General Is my partner abusive?am i crazy am i selfish?

    Though I agree with many on here that the OP should leave her partner, and I agree that it is not her responsibility to "rescue" him - that is the job of mental health professionals, if he should desire to seek their help. I find the quoted post to be very irresponsible. People manifest PTSD...
  7. J

    Arrrgh...

    Setting boundaries are important for your, and also, for the mental health of others. Sadly, many people have a hard time understanding mental illness. People also have their own reasons - not all of them healthy - for why they respond to "negative" sentiments. It is hard to tell. But it is...
  8. J

    I’m sick and tired of being told what to do

    I am sorry to hear what you are struggling, inter alia, to find a good therapist and psychiatrist. Sad to say that as the saying goes, Cs and Ds get degrees, and I see that in my own profession. I hope you keep searching and find someone who is capable of understanding you. I have also lost a...
  9. J

    Sufferer My nightmares. please help

    First, I want to emphasize that you should seek a therapist. Long-term therapy will guide you on your path to healing. Second, I just wanted to share something with you. I too lost my father at a young age. I also learned about it in an off-hand way, a manner in which the pain of the news was...
  10. J

    Finding a therapist

    I second what others have said: feel free to shop for T's. I felt reluctant to schedule two therapy sessions, too, but once i went through both and felt so much more comfortable with one over the other, I didn't regret it. They also are very understanding.
  11. J

    Total alcoholic, can't stop

    I hear you. When I saw the thread title I looked at the 7 cans of beer before me and I related. I can give it up either, even though my psychiatrist has warned me that it ultimately makes my mental health situation worse; some neurochemical process I don't fully understand. But I can't quit...
  12. J

    General He is in treatment...

    I second the point about therapy dredging up traumas. I was on the other side - I was hospitalized after a heated argument with my gf that led to me self-harming. While it was watershed moment in my road to recovery, the weeks immediately after were very intense and my symptoms seemed to get...
  13. J

    Sufferer Musician with cptsd. really scared to post this

    Welcome to the forum! I remember how used to tell close friends how I felt misunderstood, that people couldn't grasp how pained I was inside and how hard it could be to wake up and face the day. They tried to understand, but the truth is that this...illness or whatever you want to call...
  14. J

    Sexual Assault Raped twice and can’t move on

    I am sorry this happened to you. It will take a while for you to come to terms with it - and definitely seek and find a therapist. In the mean time, try as best you can to be compassionate to yourself.
  15. J

    Childhood abuse lead to toxic adult relationships?

    From what I have read, the answer is yes. A wounded child often becomes a wounding adult. That's why so much of trauma is generational. If I can share a bit about myself, learning about PTSD, as well as attachment theory, has led me to better understand my abusive father. He was never...
  16. J

    Relapsed

    You made it four weeks without cutting because you are strong, and you cut again because you are human - relapse is part of the journey of recovery.
  17. J

    News Hostage crisis and shooting in california by vet

    I don't know much you can relate to this, but when I read the story I couldn't help but feel like the shooter could have been me. Once you're triggered, that hyperarousal and disregulation, well you never know where it could take you. That's why professional help is so important.
  18. J

    Suicidal feelings came back w a vengeance

    I am sorry you're going through this. I know it doesn't feel this way now, but it will get better. It's good to hear you're going back to see your therapist.
  19. J

    How do you feel when your ptsd is mentioned in public ?

    This captures my feelings, especially since my PTSD is based on childhood trauma. That's in public. There is also the community that I come from - one that is very stoic and has very little understanding of mental health. For some reason, I when I do tell people that I have PTSD I feel like...
  20. J

    News Hostage crisis and shooting in california by vet

    It is very sad to hear. It hit close to home - like it likely did to a lot of people on this forum - not only because the killer had PTSD, but also because the victims were people who were dedicated to helping those with PTSD.
  21. J

    Sufferer Survivor of parental abuse & social trauma

    Hello, and welcome to the forum. It is great place to be.
  22. J

    So.... here i am

    I hear you. My depression is always one or two steps from becoming suicidal. I am not a natural optimist, so I don't have ready made phrases of encouragement. All I can provide is my moment of panic. When I had sliced my wrist, and felt the real panic of dying, that the thoughts that maybe of...
  23. J

    Sufferer Grad student w/ptsd

    Welcome! You've come to the right place. I am also in graduate school in California, so I stayed where you left ; ). PTSD is something few understand,and we are surrounded by a culture that is not equipped to understand it, to place it in the order of our interior lives that it claims to...
  24. J

    Why do we have ptsd?

    That's a big question. One I have been thinking a bout a lot: partly because one of my tactics of avoidance was pointing at others who suffered through similar things and were 'doing better' than me, and because by training I am a philosopher. We're a long way, it seems to me, from a definitive...
  25. J

    Sexual Assault Trigger that cannot be avoided

    Hello Calendula, I am sorry to hear about this situation. Getting triggered is a wave: sometimes we can ride, other times it want's to drown us. Are you in contact with a mental health professional (i.e. psychiatrist or therapist)? They can be very helpful in learning how to deal with triggers...
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