General He is in treatment...

[Erin Lee]

After almost two years of hell, my husband finally agreed to go to an inpatient facility out of state and will be there for a minimum of 4 weeks. I’m so thankful he agreed to do this because I wasn’t sure how much longer I could be his support system. Like many other spouses, I was the metaphoric punching bag. The arguments were to a scary level and if he didn’t get help by the end of April, I was going to leave him. Thankfully it didn’t come to that.

I was wondering though, should I expect anything when he does return home? Has anyone experienced this? He’s only been gone 3 days so far so we have a lot of time left.

 

[Sweetpea76]

My vet did his stint inpatient before we started dating, so I'm not sure of the before/after comparison. He does say that his stay there saved his life though. He was better off afterwards.

It may be pretty rough though. Trauma therapy dredges up a lot of bad stuff, and he could get more symptomatic for awhile.

 

[Mytime]

I’m so glad to hear he went for therapy.
Now it’s time for you to take this time for you. So when he comes home your in a good place for yourself. I’m also happy to see you posting on the forum again
:hug:

 

[jmad]

My vet did his stint inpatient before we started dating, so I'm not sure of the before/after compari..

I second the point about therapy dredging up traumas. I was on the other side - I was hospitalized after a heated argument with my gf that led to me self-harming. While it was watershed moment in my road to recovery, the weeks immediately after were very intense and my symptoms seemed to get worse, especially after intense therapy sessions. My relationship didn't survive those weeks, and she left me.

My advice would be to set firm boundaries (while still being supportive), and to take things very slowly. Things will get better. He will get better. But therapy for trauma is a perilous road, and it is one that he has to travel on his own.

 

[EveHarrington]

What kind of program is this?

Some programs will only stabilize. Others will get into the trauma.

I think the kind of program will make a difference in what to expect.

 

[Freida]

Read everything you can on this site from the supporters. They will be the best guidance you will probably ever get.

Starting the process is indescribably hard. You have to dig up everything you couldn't handle before and try to find a way to make peace with it. It can consume your soul --- and sometimes everything in your life. boundaries are critical -- you are not being unsupportive by having them. You are saving yourself so you can be there for him. Big difference