Sexual Assault Trigger that cannot be avoided

[Calendula]

I had a friend sexually assault me a few months ago. I was sexually abused as a child so his actions actually caused him to become a huge trigger for me. I feel my stomach drop and get panic attacks when someone mentions him.

Anyway, I have to attend an event which he is also attending in a couple of weeks. We will probably be sitting near one another. I don't want to miss out on things because of him. But I am not sure that I can deal with it..

Any tips on dealing with this confrontation? I plan on ignoring him.. but I still feel sick amd terrified just thinking about being in the same building as him...

 

[jmad]

Hello Calendula, I am sorry to hear about this situation. Getting triggered is a wave: sometimes we can ride, other times it want's to drown us. Are you in contact with a mental health professional (i.e. psychiatrist or therapist)? They can be very helpful in learning how to deal with triggers - learning how to self-soothe or techniques to calm us down. It is no small matter, so I often differ to them for dealing with these types of situations, especially for me, as most of my triggers deal with intimacy.

I hear you about this unavoidable things, and not wanting to miss out - but make sure you take care of yourself and have the proper support.

 

[User88]

I trigger fairly regularly as the guy works where I do, but in different locations. Whenever I go to that location, I always feel anxious I’ll see him, brings back bad memories etc even though it didn’t happen there.
I would say it’s best to try to concentrate on other things around you at the event. Try to focus on other people, what’s happening at the event etc
Sometimes it helps to think about time too- when you’re at the event, try to remember it is *now* and what happened has passed and isn’t happening now. Hope that helps a little.