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  1. W

    High functioning with ptsd/cptsd

    I would like to see more written about high-functioning PTSD. I was diagnosed almost nine years ago. The first few years were a nightmare but I've spent a long time in therapy, on meds, working with it, and I'm at the point now where I essentially function normally, not just in public. Then I...
  2. W

    Anniversary Anxiety And Driving

    Thank you. I thought anniversaries were supposed to get better each year? That's usually what it's been. I stopped seeing a therapist for awhile because I couldn't find one I liked and have started again over the summer. Maybe I am only reopening the wound. I have recovered in many ways so I...
  3. W

    Anniversary Anxiety And Driving

    I will try and make this post as readable as possible but I am in a state right now. Late tonight/tomorrow morning starts the seventh anniversary for me. I was starting to feel anxious last night and my fiancee asked if it was getting better or worse. She was trying to help but I feel like I've...
  4. W

    So Disappointed In Myself

    Thank you all for welcoming me back. I'm glad I have somewhere to go. I used to have two steps-forward one step-back all the time, but it seemed I'd been stable for so long (at least with the PTSD - I still have a lot of anxiety attacks) that any interruption terrifies me that I might fall back...
  5. W

    So Disappointed In Myself

    I haven't been here in a long while. I was doing really well. I guess if I'm trying to be fair to myself I'm doing pretty well in general compared to the places I've been and the stories I've heard from others. I go to work and function, I'm on new meds, which are finally giving me back the full...
  6. W

    Procrastination Is Debilitating Please Help

    Jesse, I can definitely relate to that feeling of staring at a task, unable to get anything done. For written work, I will break it down as much as possible. Like D123 said, sometimes just doing a paragraph at a time is helpful. For the really bad times, I've sat down with a favorite snack...
  7. W

    Slipping Backwards And Terrified

    I found the number for the therapist and the psychiatrist to set up appointments and finally worked up the courage to call them again. They've both moved locations and aren't there anymore. I don't know where to go now. It took me weeks to stop shaking in terror every time I went into their...
  8. W

    Slipping Backwards And Terrified

    A list for strategies sounds like a good idea. Then I can refer back to it when I can't think clearly of what to do. I'll call the therapist in the morning and see when I can get in. I am scared but hopefully she will keep her promise and not send me away.
  9. W

    What Is Our Si Like? Is It Passive Or Active?

    I understand, Therisa. For me, the passive voice is there as an option. It comes up every now and then, especially when things have the potential to go wrong. There's a little voice that reminds me that if things get bad enough, I could always off myself. The more active ones are the ones that...
  10. W

    Slipping Backwards And Terrified

    I am sort of in therapy. I have been several times but the schedule usually gets messed up so there are gaps in between. It's been at least a month though. I am scared to go back like this because then they will know I am crazy. I'm scared I will break down in the office. I watch TV but...
  11. W

    Slipping Backwards And Terrified

    I do not have a list. I really don't have much of anything. Some acquaintances at work but no friends. I can no longer pursue my past interests because of where I am. I loved playing the piano and Irish stepdancing. I can do neither now because I have no access to a piano (I have tried a...
  12. W

    Slipping Backwards And Terrified

    Hello, I have been away from the forum for awhile. When things are going well, I can convince myself that I am better. Most of the time I have been doing fairly well, which used to make me feel guilty for coming here. For the last few weeks, I have been battling what I knew would be a very...
  13. W

    How Can One Accurately Gauge The Severity Of His/her Ptsd?

    I will try and explain and maybe someone can tell me once and for all if I am in fact a fraud. Physical injury was not threatened, but my integrity and the integrity of my mind was threatened. It was unlikely that I would be physically attacked, but I lost my freedom and the illusion of control...
  14. W

    How Can One Accurately Gauge The Severity Of His/her Ptsd?

    Thank you for answering my question, I Can Do This. I never thought about it as an injury that can flare up before. I've heard of PTSD being described as more of a physical ailment instead of a mental one, but because I suffered from mental illness before and during PTSD, the two are...
  15. W

    How Can One Accurately Gauge The Severity Of His/her Ptsd?

    Everyone I have told has had a reaction of surprise and disbelief, because my experiences should not have caused PTSD. The first and often only thing they ever say is Why? This includes therapists, except for the one who diagnosed me. I have never heard of anyone else in my situation. Even...
  16. W

    How Can One Accurately Gauge The Severity Of His/her Ptsd?

    This is exactly how I feel. I was diagnosed with PTSD several years ago, but now that I am functioning better, sometimes I question whether I was diagnosed formally or not (I can't remember the conversation) We were looking into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and EMDR but I never went through with...
  17. W

    I Feel Like A Failure

    I'm sorry the job is not heading where you wanted it to go, brat17. I have been following this thread for awhile in silence and I'm glad it's opened up into a conversation where other people can share their struggles and worries and find support in the members here. As for my situation, it has...
  18. W

    There Are Two Sides To Every Story...

    This is a difficult post for me to reply to, but I will try. First, thank you for the suggestions and the reminder that people beyond ourselves are affected by our actions. Sometimes it can be hard to remember that. One of the terrible things about depression is that it does isolate the person...
  19. W

    Is This Dissociation/similar?

    Nobody else understands it either? Or I'm just out of my mind. It's different from when I'm apathetic because of depression. Much more intense.
  20. W

    Successful Appointment

    I had my third appointment with a psychiatrist/psychologist (?) today (the one that basically writes prescriptions). I took my partner again, but I did most of the talking this time. More importantly, this is the first time I didn't cry in the office. (I will admit a little bit beforehand, but...
  21. W

    Is This Dissociation/similar?

    I've read through a lot of this forum to try and get a handle on what exactly dissociation is. I wish I would have had this forum as a resource years ago when the trauma first happened, because I think a lot of the symptoms I experienced would have been clearer to me. As it is, I'm still trying...
  22. W

    Help Functioning After An Appointment

    Thank you all for your responses last week. I didn't feel so alone. As for coping and grounding skills, I've tried some things but have yet to find anything that actually works for me. Most breathing/visualization exercises are either ineffective or stress me out even more. I was considering...
  23. W

    Help Functioning After An Appointment

    Thank you, safenow. I am trying your advice. Peaceful thoughts.
  24. W

    Help Functioning After An Appointment

    You're all kind to me, but I'm sure you've been through more than I can imagine and have the right to be here. When I started talking here, people were confused why I was having difficulty. I think I'm the only one who found anything traumatic about it. If it had been something bad enough maybe...
  25. W

    Help Functioning After An Appointment

    I finally went to see a psychiatrist to get my meds refilled and up the dosage. I saw him once three months ago. He would only give me a month's supply so I would be forced to come back. I couldn't stop crying. At least this time I could look at him. I tried to explain that I was terrified of...
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