There Are Two Sides To Every Story...

[Jen93]

Okay, this is going to be really difficult to write, but read this before you think of suicide, please.

There are two sides to every story. I know those who have posted on this thread have felt suicidal or like they couldn't go on at some point; but I'd like to say that there are people who care and will be affected. When someone is depressed, or suicidal, it is a ripple effect. Friends, family members, teachers, co workers, they are all affected. I have PTSD from someone's attempted suicide. I know that people here are looking for a way to get better, and I'm happy about that, but maybe this could also help.

Remember that people care. Even if it looks like nobody does, the effects of after someone attempts it is devastating. Try to be social, go out and have dinner with friends, watch a movie with them, anything. Avoiding friends and isolation does not help to lift yourself out of depression. You don't have to tell anybody you feel this way if you don't want to, but being with friends who are positive can be really helpful. (Even people here, on a forum, who haven't even met or seen you care.)

We all have something to live for, please remember yours and hold onto that something when you feel this way. (Anthony has posted something on this section of the forum about finding your reason to live. Jadebear has a thread in this section called "What's keeping you alive?" I always go to that when I feel sad.)

Things will get better. If you find that they can't, please go to your psychiatrist or therapist.

 

[WesternSky]

This is a difficult post for me to reply to, but I will try. First, thank you for the suggestions and the reminder that people beyond ourselves are affected by our actions. Sometimes it can be hard to remember that. One of the terrible things about depression is that it does isolate the person and makes the things that might normally help them (i.e. being social, getting out of the house) harder to do. It's quite a clever little illness. Depending on the type and severity of the depression, it can cloud our minds to the point where we cannot find comfort in our friends or activities.

I am terribly sorry for your loss (if you allow compassion/sympathy) and have only my experiences to draw from, but when I was in the worst of SI, the most dangerous thing to me was what I can only describe as intense mental and emotional anguish.I knew I had people to live for, but I was not sure I could continue because of the pain I was in. At times I felt I ws going to die even if I didn't want to - that it would drive my body to intervene and end the suffering the last way it knew how.

I am sorry if this is too personal a description but I needed to add something more. So often the suicidal are described in terrible terms and I wanted to say that it is not always selfishness or lack of thought for others, and if it were as simple as pulling oneself out of depression it would not be such an insidious illness. This is a topic very close to me . It is good you are willing to share the other side of the story.Maybe others' stories will help us all to complete a larger picture of such a complex issue.

 

[maddog]

Right now, I think this topic is a little raw and overwhelming for me to respond to, but I did want to acknowledge it, and to acknowledge Jen for having started a very important, though potentially very very fragile, discussion here. I really hope others can contribute, and that we can all be careful with each other, and respectful of the fact that whoever you are in this picture, whatever side you are on, whatever your experiences and your beliefs, there is *nothing* about suicide that is easy, fair, straightforward or easily understood at all.

I do believe in life, and that there always is hope for things to get better. But I also believe that sometimes that isn't enough on its own.

I believe that very, very few people set out to hurt others or have any intention or willingness to consciously do so.

I believe that others can share parts of our journeys and that sometimes, that can make them easier to navigate. But I also believe that nobody else can walk them for us, and that at some point, we have to get there on our own if we are to get there at all.

I believe there is much good in life... and much cruelty.

Maddog

 

[Jen93]

First, thank you for the suggestions and the reminder that people beyond ourselves are affected by our actions. Sometimes it can be hard to remember that. One of the terrible things about depression is that it does isolate the person and makes the things that might normally help them (i.e. being social, getting out of the house) harder to do. It's quite a clever little illness. Depending on the type and severity of the depression, it can cloud our minds to the point where we cannot find comfort in our friends or activities.

Yup. That was my point in making this thread. When people are depressed, they isolate- and then because they shut themselves off, nobody knows how they feel. It comes as a shock when people kill themselves, simply because they either reached out to the wrong person, or were too ashamed to reach out to the right person. When depressed, people need to do the opposite of what they feel like doing.

They need to get out of the house and be with friends, being with people helps them realize that they aren't alone.

They need to eat healthy- it can help your mood when you take care of yourself. (When I'm depressed I don't eat.)

They need to make sure they get the right amount of sleep for them. (Don't oversleep or under-sleep. Getting up out of bed to do something, anything- even if it just means getting out of bed to complete a crossword puzzle, can help to show that there is a good thing in life. You do have something to wake up for.)

People contemplating suicide or who are depressed, although they don't feel like it, they really do need to push themselves. Even if their mood is not great, if they can still push themselves to do simple things like eat healthy and go out with friends or go to school/work it can help elevate their mood. Once it gets to the point where they know they can't function, that's when they need to call a doctor.

 

[xena21]

Jen93 - I'm so sorry you had to deal with that and were affected by that individual's decisions. It is a difficult topic for me because I also have tried to end my life several times...officially, though I don't think I really wanted to die every time, just wanted life to end, the thoughts to stop. I'm not sure if you understand that?

I didn't want to be alive anymore, and the racing thoughts of hurting myself and suicide wouldn't stop. I became fixated on it, and my depression, PTSD, as well as my OCD all became enmeshed so I couldn't even function normally. My head was so messed up, I couldn't even think there was hope to get beyond it. People in my life were thought of as being helped by my silence. I believed taking care of myself was best and not allowing others to know was what was supposed to happen. I also believed that "if" I happened to die, everyone would be better for it.

So that is how I looked at it.

You also have to take into account that these are biological illnesses and just doing things can help, but don't always work. They are diseases that definitely need intervention by trained medical personnel.

Like you pointed out, for many people going out and being with people is very helpful and shows that you aren't alone. This was something that didn't work for me though. Being around people made me feel lonely. I would feel more lonely in a crowd, and then be disgusted with myself for my inept human behavior. I do understand the concept though, and I'm sure it's helpful for many people.

Suicide is a horrible thing for everyone to deal with.