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  1. arfie

    How to break shame cycle re my role in csa

    i believe this the motivating force between my use of psychobabble as a deflection tool. more and more i believe it is counter-productive. over the course of "taming my lions," i give myself creative liberty in personifying them in whatever fashion suits my healing needs. as i read about your...
  2. arfie

    How to break shame cycle re my role in csa

    my personal favorite visualization for personifying my gnarlier psycho snot knots is lion taming. a particular fave is an old lithograph photo of a lady lion tamer sitting on a circus ring floor in her victorian garb with her lions lying peacefully around her. i play with my bull whips allot...
  3. arfie

    How to break shame cycle re my role in csa

    gentle empathy, beeneeboo. for what it's worth, an orgasm is a biological response. we don't get to control that any more than we get to control our need to pee. how pissy it that? ? ? i have personified my own psycho ticks, with the blamer/shamer having a metaphorical cage of her own. i don't...
  4. arfie

    Is aging making CPTSD Recovery harder for anyone?

    i am 69 and not in my case, but i have quite a few sibs-in-healing who feel similar to what you feel here. don't accuse me of experting, but i believe the diff is that i started therapy in 1972 when i was 17. of course it was to be another 25 years or so before the ptsd dx came along, but even...
  5. arfie

    Sufferer My neighbor broke both my legs

    the sharing of healing hopes/needs does not require duplicate conditions, prosthetics or coping mechanisms. anger channeling remains anger channeling, whether on two feet, two crutches or two wheels. this particular brother-in-healing might have channeled some anger with his wheels on your toes...
  6. arfie

    Sufferer My neighbor broke both my legs

    i am reminded of a brother-in-healing who became paraplegic at the fiery age of 16. he was in his 40's when i came to know him and he was still a fiery soul with serious anger channeling needs. he channeled his anger with the help of his fellow "wheelies" in the various wheelchair olympic...
  7. arfie

    Sufferer My neighbor broke both my legs

    i used to think/feel this. i've suffered far fewer violent and legal encounters since i learned how to channel and vent my anger while letting healing hopes and forgiveness be my strength. i have the intelligence and compassion of a beaten crazy bitch wolf when i rely on anger to give me strength.
  8. arfie

    Working In Mental Health Field

    some of the most effective mental health workers who have helped me heal have had mental health issues of their own. their experience gave them hope, compassion and insights you can't get from a book or a classroom.
  9. arfie

    Other obligatory infidelity?

    when it comes to ptsd psycho ticks, most especially the compulsive behavior, what i consider and what i do under the influence of psychosis are radically different phenomena. logic is illogical during my psychotic episodes. i mentally file my hypersexuality as OCD behavior. OCD does not respond...
  10. arfie

    Sufferer My neighbor broke both my legs

    ouchus maximus, sanctuary. . . no fair on high. . . anger channeling called for. . . when i was in a similar position, i worked the psychotherapy angle far more than the justice angle. i was far more interested in healing than in spending endless hours in courtrooms. there are solid reasons...
  11. arfie

    Other obligatory infidelity?

    hm-m-m-m-m. . . could this be what my supporters and i call, "hyper-sexuality" in my own psychotherapy sessions? my hyper-sexuality is nearer the OCD which causes me to scratch holes in my skin --among other idiotic compulsions-- than it is to romantic love or sexual freedom. i don't ENJOY it...
  12. arfie

    Jobs/ careers (including mine) that are going to be made redundant by AI

    neither, raven. i do not place "ai" above the weaving looms which took away cottage industry jobs during the industrial revolution. nor the industrial robots who put assembly line workers out of work. i hold it as the same trend which has been cycling since the dawn of civilization. evolution...
  13. arfie

    Jobs/ careers (including mine) that are going to be made redundant by AI

    take out "starting" and i will raise my hand, enthusiastically. i first witnessed this trend as a child in the 60's when the cereal boxes with dick tracy watches had the most powerful computers on the market. back then, the grumbles were about being replaced by machines. computers are still...
  14. arfie

    Seeking Healing and Support After Disturbing Meeting Experience - was it a bad disassociation?

    alas, i only need the body language of somebody wishing they could chew out their spouse to trigger my dissociation. left unchecked, my dissociation cycle is often well underway before said quarreling spouse can target their anger at me. i typically don't stick around long enough to know whether...
  15. arfie

    Seeking Healing and Support After Disturbing Meeting Experience - was it a bad disassociation?

    hello anxiety girl. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. you just did an elegantly clear job of describing my own involuntary dissociation. over the course of my psychotherapy for this symptom, i've grown aware and mindful enough to be able to use...
  16. arfie

    brain fog/cloud feeling that is blocking my work

    i get this feeling so frequently that i don't count the times any more than i count the times i empty my bladder. another day, another dizzy spell. ditto on the absence of causes that show up in medical testing. i treat it like a physical symptom on two counts: 1) there are physical phenomena...
  17. arfie

    Self sabotage or trigger

    i vote the latter. they are not the same, but they are frequent traveling companions. was it distracted driving or was it a traffic accident? which came first, the chicken or the egg? nurture or nature? stage left or audience left? just opining. . .
  18. arfie

    Things I "love" to hear

    well, just just it all. . . where's my magic wand? even worse than hearing these pearls of loving wisdom from loved ones is when i catch myself handing out similar. ouch. . . let the change begin with me.
  19. arfie

    Sufferer Denial - In order to function in the world i deny to myself and others my childhood traumas.

    a recurring theme in my own recovery is where i carry healthy phenomena to destructive extremes. a desirable force used badly causes extreme damage. i take the approach of training the the force rather than curing it. when i am in a board meeting which includes people who inspire me to violence...
  20. arfie

    Relationship How Big a Breakthrough Are Breakthroughs?

    in my own experience, it is best to put away all measuring devices and simply be grateful for the moment of enlightenment. is it equal? will it endure? etcetera? etceteri? my humble place in the universe does not have access to that information. simple gratitude for the moment of enlightenment...
  21. arfie

    The 'Love Yourself First' Debate

    as a child prostitute, i learned the cliche euphemisms of love far more than spiritual love. nurturing love was an alien concept to me. i had to learn self-love before i had any love to give. a street euphemism which offered me my first clue in this great debate was, "what goes around comes...
  22. arfie

    What IS Selfish… anyways? How do YOU define selfish? What does it mean to you?

    i have deliberately sidelined that word. it is a word i heard so often during my childhood that it doesn't feel worth unpacking. in my own recovery, "selfish" is a trigger word which means i am sliding down the proverbial rabbit hole of flashbacks, etc., again. that very word was HUGE in my...
  23. arfie

    I am asking for some possible assistance, please. Overwhelming guilt & shame.

    i watch myself when i start shoulding around, especially when i am assuming ^it^ is simple. all too often, it is the simple things which are hardest to actually do. what is shouldy or simple about that? i often wonder if guilt and shame literally suffocate us by shutting off oxygen to the...
  24. arfie

    Avoiding triggers or accepting them during intimacy

    in my personal case, avoidance is a psycho landmine. avoidance all too easily leads to that proverbial rabbit hole of denial and repression. i can use it mindfully as a coping tool, but i handle it like an addictive drug. lots and lots of mindfulness. i go for acceptance and distraction...
  25. arfie

    What are trauma bonds?

    the question doesn't sound stupid to me, kay. i'm questioning with you. seems like forever ago when i started studying the phenom and i still don't quite get it, though now that you mention it, i may have begun the study under a different name. "family dynamics?" if my ifs are in alignment, my...
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