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Thank you - those are very kind words. We're all in this together. You'd've thought one of us would have remembered to bring a ladder before we fell into this pit, but hey, at least we got each other. :)

@Lionheart777 (cyber hug) :) I know a lot of what you speak. I have very similar issues, and have very slowly over many years weened myself off of the meds. I still have my episodes, but I try to control them inwardly as opposed to relying on medicines. It's not a choice for everyone, and...

Instead of the dream vacation, I am going to a funeral today. :(

I will gladly accept them laurie. And how incredibly gracious of you to do that - thank you.

I feel very selfish even bringing this part of it up, but her and I had a vacation scheduled for this weekend and now I don't think it is going to happen. And the selfish part of me is really sad about that as well, I mean... if I didn't have faith in her or love her I would question the...

I am going through a rough period in my life. However, that is the easy part. What I think I need help with is this - there is someone in my life very close to me, and she is in danger of losing her father and her grandmother in the same week. Her grandmother likely will not make it through...

Ayesha - Once again it I ALWAYS a pleasure to talk to you. I love your insights and thoughts. I really do. I have....nothing to add. I read your original post and have the exact same feelings you do. But regardless, whileI am not here as much as I would like to be, I am here now, and saw...

recker -welcome!!! I am glad you decided to post - I very much like and agree with what you just said. Like what you just said, I want you to know you are not alone either. I have done some shitty things in my life just to get by. I've chosen at times to sacrifice my morals for a paycheck...

Wow, Leah, that must have been so hard. I would have just wanted to leave as well, I don't blame you one bit. I'm really sorry to hear about that. When I booked my tickets, I went through the Gershwin's website and it led me to Ticketmaster. It was expensive - They are front row, center -...

This reminds me of something special I have planned coming up. I'm taking my boo to the Gershwin for a production of Wicked. I hope I am not thread-jacking here but I'd like to share a wonderful song from the show that will likely mean I need to bring tissues. :)

It is my spirit that enables my courage if that makes sense.

That is very fair. To that, I would like to reference one of my favorite passages. "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far...

And wanted to share with you all. I hope you all have a wonderful day. _______________________________ Often I write in third person, but tonight, I feel like writing in a first person narrative. “Life sucks.” I can't tell you how many times I have stated those words, or how many more times...

As hard as this may be, I suggest you copy the entire thing you just wrote, and send it to him. A relationship requires a solid foundation IMO or it is doomed to failure. I know what I am asking may seem so very hard, but you will know exactly where you stand.

(In other, quicker words - don't be too hard on yourself. Go give him a hug and most importantly, get better soon!) :)

Hey Ayesha, it's always a pleasure, first off. *hug* :) My first thought is that your independence practically demanded you do it yourself; and it goes back (almost always) to trust and faith. I bet as much as you were hurting, your husband's heart was breaking at the idea of wanting to...

Sthrngirl - It's possible he made be afraid to commit because he doesn't want you to see that dark passenger inside of him.

It seems like you are processing what happened, and that is all you can do sometimes. It will make you better for it, and I think it is a great step!

I recently went through a very similar phase with my wife - I told her almost precisely what you just sad - that I have forgiven me; I have forgiven her. The scary part for me is realizing that forgiveness may not equate to happiness with her - I am better for taking these steps but they aren't...

Abstract, I like what you said. Hitting rock bottom, it just means we have a chance to climb even higher. Nothing is too hard to live through and everyone deserves to stand up for themselves.

*reads now that you didn't cite* Hehe. Awkward. Still the honesty is the important thing. :) EDIT: Thank you for the support.

All the greats have stolen at one point in their lives from what I have seen. ::) But I very much respect you citing your quote.

How do I end the cycle? I have found myself, and accepted my flaws. Does it end when I am finally not an alcoholic? I haven't drank in a while yet I am always still that man with that disease. Can I never be the "better than" version I so much desire to be? I am seconds away from a drink...

Thanks Arfie. ... For a long time now I have believed I was happy because I was "successful" in society's eyes. But for almost the entire time I felt like I was instead just digging a deeper hole for myself to live in. I can relate to that feeling of...sadness when you actually get what you...

TY! :)