Search results

@darrenS Thank you! I am trying my best to keep the positives going in my recovery.

I think I have finally made a breakthrough with my fear of trusting anyone. I have been having a rough go for the past several months. But a dream I had enlightened me just a little and it feels ok now. My dream was about my new T and I blindfolded her to take her to "the house of horrors" where...

I can't help but feel if I pull away then it will hurt my kids, not seeing their grandparents aunts, uncles, and cousins. I won't let them go alone either because I want to protect them just in case. I have an appointment will my therapist on Wednesday, I don't know how to explain to her about...

Not sure what you mean by safe place. I am at a friends. Everyone is past out, I am the only one still awake.

Hello Friends hope yous are all doing well. I have stayed away for a little while because I have been struggling terribly. Depression and Anxiety are through the roof. In the past weeks I have had to endure being around 3 of my abusers and try to be Merry for my kids. Christmas at my parents I...

I agree with the others, you need to find more supports. In my own healing journey I was too dependant on my last therapist and now I pay for it because she has moved away. I feel very alone. I have a new T but it's not the same, trust is a big issue for me, and I don't want to hurt again from...

@intothelight I think this is a great thread! I, myself, struggle with my choices but my end goal is to not let the PTSD consume my life. One thing I do struggle with is when I slip or make a not wise choice, is not to beat myself up for it and listen to those not nice inner voices. Thank you...

@J_trustno1 not only is it a big struggle, it is a daily struggle! @Laurie McLaughlin thank you for the idea of the balloons I plan on trying that. Well I said goodbye to my t for the last time yesterday, since then I have been an emotional wreck. Tried to go to work today, lasted two hours...

For the past couple of weeks I have felt emotionally and physically numb. I think it has to do with this week being my last appointment with my t before she leaves her practice and the country for good. My t has set me up with another trauma therapist, but I just don't know if I can start over...

Sorry to hear of your struggles with your T. I know I have had many struggles with mine. When this happens I write the T a letter and put all my feelings out there, to help relieve the pain, before I go for my next appointment I reread my letter and if the pain is still there I address those...

Thank you all for your replies! I am taking sleeping pills but they don't help the nightmares. I haven't tried a dream journal but I think it's a great idea and I will use. I see my T tomorrow, hopefully I will be able to talk about it without disassociating. @GWhizz. You talk about coping...

I am hoping you can help shed some light on this as it is getting worse. For the past couple of weeks I have been reliving a specific day of abuse. The only difference is that I am watching it from up above but can feel everything that is happening to me. I wake up crying, uncontrollable...

Unconditional Love! The ones that were to love me unconditioally have abused this power on me, each taking a part of my soul. I don't know if I will ever know what unconditional love ever feels like since I am unable to trust.

I have the same trouble, I can not seem to make eye contact with a lot of people. To me it feels that they can then see the 'inner me' and that is a dark, bad place that I don't want people to see. I told my T this and she says it's ok, when our conversations get deep she will ask if I am still...

Thank you for your responses. I copied and pasted this post for my t today, I was literally shaking and crying as I did it, worried what is going to happen next. Just my luck I find out that she was not working today! I am going to try my best not to worry about it over the weekend, but hey...

Where shall I start? For the past couple of weeks I have been suffering from high anxiety and panic attacks. Sleeping, and eating are really not existent to me right now. I keep forcing myself to keep going with work and family life. Yesterday for the first time in a very long time I did self...

You are not alone with this struggle. I too suffer from this demon. Keep working at it and don't give up!!

@Springer80 you know it! ;) Lol!

I am from Canada, french canadien. I do not live in an igloo, infact I don't care for the snow but I couldn't picture a Christmas without it!

Thank you Sarah and Gizmo for your words of wisdom. I will let my therapist know that I am grieving. I will also try to be open minded towards seeking another professional to continue on my healing journey! Thank you for showing me the glimpse of hope that I was not seeing through my tears...

Thank you for sharing Jezanna! Was it hard to tell your life story to someone new? I am just not sure if I have the courage to tell someone else. It took me so long to tell this T and I'm still scared that I will get 'in trouble' for telling.

Hi everyone!! I haven't written in awhile, trying to take it easy as I was really struggling. I went for my weekly visit with my T this week and I have felt numb ever since. I have been seeing my T for over 3 years, she is the only person I have ever told my life secrets that I kept buried...

It's not that I want to be in toxic relationships, I want the exact opposite. I believe my children should not suffer for my past trauma. No one in the family knows besides the abusers themselves. I have just this year told 2 people about my traumas one being my therapist and the other my...

Yes I made it home safely. Kids had a great time. I had to take 2 sleeping pills to fall asleep. And yes I need to rethink about going to family occassions, I don't ever want to go through that again. But is it all just me? Do I just need more coping skills?

All I can say is I put myself here. I am at my family dinner and sitting here crying in the wash room. I convinced myself to come for my kids sake, so they could see there cousins, etc. Two of my abusers are here. My anxiety is to the max and trying to act normal. I have been told by...