My T Is Leaving The Country, Now What??

[soulsearcher]

Hi everyone!! I haven't written in awhile, trying to take it easy as I was really struggling. I went for my weekly visit with my T this week and I have felt numb ever since. I have been seeing my T for over 3 years, she is the only person I have ever told my life secrets that I kept buried inside my for 25+ years. This week she tells me she is leaving the country and so we only have a couple months left to work together. I didn't cry in the session and changed the topic fairly quickly, but since that day I have cried everyday and I just feel numb and lifeless. I don't know how to change this feeling.

I know she is not the only T in this town but do I really want to start over again? Can I seal "the vault" up again and still continue to function?

If anybody can share if they have been through this or have any words of wisdom I would greatly appreciate to hear from you.

 

[Jezanna]

All I can say is I had a therapist for 6 yrs who suddenly left his wife and announced he had a girlfriend and was moving in a month. I was floored. It ended up it was such a blessing!! I now have a great therapist who is professional and is caring. I never knew I could get good care. Try to stay positive, I know its scary but this may in the end be something positive. Different therapists bring different tools to the table to help us. The new therapist could even be a better fit.

 

[soulsearcher]

Thank you for sharing Jezanna! Was it hard to tell your life story to someone new? I am just not sure if I have the courage to tell someone else. It took me so long to tell this T and I'm still scared that I will get 'in trouble' for telling.

 

[Sarah2732]

Just wanted to say I've sort of been through something sort of similar and can sympathize. Circumstances change sometimes and even a really good therapeutic relationship has to end prematurely sometimes. It sucks but it's nobody's fault. I'm really glad you have a few months to process the transition with your T. I would encourage you to be really honest with her about how you are feeling about every part of the transition. All your insecurities and fears and grief. For me, there were some really painful sessions talking about termination, and then a kind of peace about it.

It also helped meeting a few new therapists I got referrals to. I made appointments with three before picking the third, it was empowering to be able to interview THEM and say to myself "yes, no, I get a bad feeling about you, or you, you might be ok". And I could talk about those interviews with my T before we stopped meeting. When I first started therapy I was a MESS and just needed help "stopping the bleeding" in an emotional sense- but choosing a new therapist 5 years in gave me the opportunity to really evaluate therapists and choose based on my needs presently.

I liked Jezannas comment about "new tools". I thought of it like this analogy: if I'd faithfully taken my car to the same detail shop every week for 3 years, I bet if one day I took it to a new detail shop, they'd find nooks and crannies to clean that the first detail shop had missed for 3 years. ;-)

It will be hard to tell your story again. But if your therapist is kind and safe, it will not take as long or be quite as hard as the first time. ;-) (Just my personal experience)

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I agree with Sarah. I have had many therapists, both good and bad. I feel for you to be so lucky to have had your therapist for so long.

Of course there is a big grieving process in this sudden change.

But with help from your therapist, mabe the therapist can recommend someone new for you. I wish you the best.

 

[soulsearcher]

Thank you Sarah and Gizmo for your words of wisdom. I will let my therapist know that I am grieving. I will also try to be open minded towards seeking another professional to continue on my healing journey!

Thank you for showing me the glimpse of hope that I was not seeing through my tears. ((Hugs)) if you except them.