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Growing Joy mentioned that she felt like she needed to be pushed a bit harder when she got close to something that made her feel close to tears... I was the same. I just told my T that straight out. I said "I'm going to need you to push me with some direct questions around the topic of ____"...

My therapist doesn't mind tears at all, but I hate them. Makes me feel out of control. But after about 4-5 months with my therapist, I realized that I didn't need to hold on so tightly. I was in therapy to learn healthier habits and responses, and the tears were part of the work. As far as your...

Really glad you are feeling steadier. The emotional volatility should settle over the next few days as well. Trazadone disrupted your body's natural brain chemistry, and it will need a bit of time to regain its balance. Drink lots of water, eat regularly, with lots of fruit and veggies, and...

I'm separating a bunch of stuff for donation to charity right now- it helps me get rid of old weight, and feel like I'm doing a small bit of good in the world.

I love to hike. And often I start my hike feeling awful, but by the time I'm done, a lot of weight lifts off. Ironically, cleaning out drawers in my house is relaxing- getting rid of junk and clutter, simplifying the little spaces of my life. Mostly I want to say that when I think of killing...

I would really like to be a part of supporting you, if you're interested. I truly do understand where you are at. And I believe in you. I've had to make a lot of those short term pacts to stay alive, and I'm learning to find small ways to live in those periods, rather than just survive them...

I'm really happy to hear that you got some rest! Cutting isn't the answer to the pain, even if it feels like a release. Your heart knows that cutting is self harm, and anything that is self harming holds us in a place of despair. Tears are good, even when overwhelming- those tears are what your...

I know that you don't know me, but in reading your posts, it's like looking in a mirror for me.

it took me a long time to find something to let me sleep even a little

Ok-first off, I think taking more trazodone is not a good idea. When your body isn't excepting trazodone for sleep the way it was intended, it can actually disrupt your sleep more than it can help. I also have extreme issues with sleep deprivation from time to time, and the more tired I get the...

I want to join this conversation- but I want to honor whatever you need @desiderata310. I have been exactly where you are, and not that long ago. But you don't know me, or have reason to trust me, and I don't want to intrude in the rapport you've develop in this thread....

Forgot to say that if you were taking Prazosin at 2 mg and feeling rapid heart rate etc, you probably needed to up the dose rather than discontinue. I never had to step up the dose slowly- I took 5mg for first week, went to 10 when that wasn't enough. A few days, I needed 15, but I knew that I'd...

Prazosin shouldn't give you a sense of rapid heart beat, since it's an alpha blocker, which actually slows things down. It inhibits heart rate acceleration, that's why you have to change positions slowly. I don't have much trouble with 10-15mg, as my stress shows up as hypertension. The last...

My dose is 5-15mg per night as required. I've rarely taken the full 15, but 10 is for hard days, 5 for average days, there are many nights where I take 1 at 10pm, another at 0100-0200hrs. It's subjective. And you need a solid Dr you can trust has your back. (Thanks Roy)

Personally, I don't touch Trazadone unless I need to knock myself unconscious for a few hours of actual sleep, then I take 100mg. But I know the next morning I'll be useless. Clonazepam- I take 1mg in AM, 1mg at bedtime ( or what I hope will be close to when I fall asleep). From what I...

I know what you mean @Ocean5 - I had nightmares and night terrors for years before I heard about prazosin. I was on five different medications at once, just to try and get a couple hours sleep. And the dreams were awful! I often had to change pajamas or bedsheets a few times a night because they...

I had a very hard time setting up boundaries with my mother and my brothers. At first, it had to be a wall, with almost no contact unless I crossed the wall. It was more than a year before I allowed them in my home even once. It's been a few years now,and they're slowly, very slowly, learning...

When I was stuck without resources, no shelter, no sense of stability, I had to stay with family. It made my recovery so much harder, and longer, but I didn't know where else to go. I put out an add offering to do at home dog-sitting while people were away, at really good rates. I watered...

Trazadone causes wicked nightmares- taken together, you will never know the benefit of Prazosin. For me, it's been Clonazepam and Prazosin at bedtime. Used to take the full high dose cocktail- thank god that's over

I keep trying to reply, but the server won't recognize me. @shimmerz - thanks to help from Joey little I was able to read your original post. I strongly suggest that you reread it as well. You knew then that this guy was not supporting you in your own health. I've been through pancreatitis after...

Looks like I'm not going to be smart enough to fit in here. Tech has never been my thing, but I wish you all the best.

Appreciated @joeylittle

Appreciated @joeylittle

Agree with @BrokenButterfly - this is your life. At some point we all recognize that we have to stop living for others... Partners, children, parents, whoever. Choose you.

Breathe. You are always in control of your responses. I've been there- it's like watching a police drama on TV- who, what,when, where, why. Your therapist wants the best for you, and wants to assess the intensity of the risk. So ask yourself those questions- why do you want to hurt yourself? Who...