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  1. Q

    Relationship Supporter Questions: New Relationship And I Want To Make It Work.

    In my experience with my sufferer, Yes, Yes, Yes, and HELL YES. He does not tolerate verbal expressions of emotion, does not tolerate (very well, but is getting better) physical displays of affection, and does not tolerate compliments or praise. Tolerate, meaning, he will either ignore me...
  2. Q

    Relationship Sometimes I Just Want To Cry

    It IS a beautiful thing. It's so gut- and heart-wrenching to watch someone you love go through the storm and, as a supporter, feel so helpless to do anything about it. I think it just speaks to the strength of human love and compassion and connection, and that's why, to me anyway, it doesn't...
  3. Q

    Relationship Help Please. Tired,sad And Frustrated!!

    Be prepared for things to get worse before they get better. Trauma counseling is a lengthy and painful process. Worthwhile, but a big ole bear of an ordeal. It's opening a can of worms and trying to sort it all out and process through it. So yeah, I can imagine his behavior getting a little...
  4. Q

    Relationship Help Please. Tired,sad And Frustrated!!

    The funny thing about this, is I read this all the time on this forum, it seems to be most supporters' experience. But mine was very different. He started out so much more closed off than he is now. I mean, I could see the person he was/is, and all of the strengths he has behind his GINORMOUS...
  5. Q

    Relationship Help Please. Tired,sad And Frustrated!!

    I'm currently struggling with this myself. I've been trying to hard to give him his space, to not to be clingy or annoying or demanding, but at some point, my needs are not being met and I feel tired and sad and lonely. I can't tell you what to do, but for me, I had to tell him (via text because...
  6. Q

    Relationship Supporters, How Do You Keep Calm When Your Sufferer Has Bailed And Are Unsure Of Their Return?

    That's certainly something to talk with her about when she's back and ready and able to discuss it. I think it's certainly fair to discuss and ask for some sort of messaging around "hey, I'm not doing well right now, and am gonna need some space" instead of either disappearing with no warning or...
  7. Q

    Relationship Supporters, How Do You Keep Calm When Your Sufferer Has Bailed And Are Unsure Of Their Return?

    I don't.... Keep calm, that is. :nailbiting::nailbiting: I don't really have much advice to give, other than to say, I know what you're going through and it sucks big time. And there's nothing anyone can do or say really to make you feel any better. The last time my guy did this was just this...
  8. Q

    Relationship Feeling Sad

    @Junebug I have the same problem, most of my friends don't get it and now they think the worst about him, which really sucks cause he's not a bad guy at all. I feel like the one place that I can share stuff and people will get it, understand, and not judge, is here. Most of the things that we...
  9. Q

    Relationship Kissing??

    Good question. Initially, he avoided all touch except during sex, but even then, no kissing. But it seems that the more time we spend together, the more he accepts touch/affection from me and the more he initiates it. If I give him his physical space, let's say on the couch for example, he'll...
  10. Q

    Relationship My Supporter

    Honestly, as a supporter, I'd much rather have an honest answer than anything else, including sugar-coating your feelings to try and avoid any drama. When my sufferer opens up (about anything, literally ANYTHING), I feel so much better because he's such tough nut to crack and I'm horrible and...
  11. Q

    Relationship Feeling Sad

    The best advice that I received about PTSD relationships and how to cope was here on this site. It's multi-faceted. You need to respect his need for space and distance. Continue living your life, make plans, see friends, do self-care, have fun, do you while he does him, so that you're not always...
  12. Q

    Relationship Kissing??

    Question for those supporters and sufferers out there in relationships.... Is it common when in a relationship with a sufferer to avoid kissing? I've been seeing my sufferer for almost 8 months now. While he's done a lot of warming up in terms of affection (in the beginning, he avoided it like...
  13. Q

    News The Latest Gun Control Speech (usa)

    As someone in the field of behavioral health, I can tell you that we have so many regulations around confidentiality and disclosures it's not funny. We are mandatory reporters for things like suspected/known child abuse/neglect or elder abuse/neglect. In terms of other types of disclosures, we...
  14. Q

    Relationship Is There Such Thing As Too Much Support?

    This is the kind of person I am too. If I had my way, I'd hug and kiss the bejesus out of my dude, and tell him a ton of super sweet things all damn day. I learned the hard way (almost immediately) that that crap will send him over the edge. I've really had to learn how to hold back on how I...
  15. Q

    Relationship Vicious Cycles

    Not much to offer you, Miss Lissa, except support and understanding. This is the (not quite daily anymore but at least) weekly struggle for me as well. Some days I feel on top of the world when I see him making progress and coping with things better. Then there are the other days when it's two...
  16. Q

    Relationship Hold On Or Let Go?

    Yup. I actually was afraid to tell my sufferer how I was feeling because when I'd express the slightest emotions or deeper stuff, he'd either shut down or get irritated. It took him a long time to even say to me (well, in a text) that he doesn't easily open up (like that was a big shocker to...
  17. Q

    Relationship Dating A Vet And Need Advice

    @Cavegirl , I don't think you're being a fool. It sounds identical to how I spend my time with my vet. There are times when we will spend the whole weekend together hanging out, or he'll want to see me or have me come over 2-3 nights in a row. Sure, we have sex during that time, but the rest of...
  18. Q

    Relationship Hold On Or Let Go?

    It's tough, and I can definitely relate to a lot of what you say, @medley29. I just went through a month+ of no contact from my sufferer, due to (what seemed to me) a very minor issue that he took the wrong way. It was the longest period of time we had gone without contact, and I mean NO...
  19. Q

    Relationship The Start Of "future" Talks

    ^^^^^ This!! I love it! That is definitely progress..... Reading this, I was trying to imagine my guy talking to me in baby talk. Or tolerating me calling him my snuggly. It's literally making me laugh out loud. I remember one time, after spending the night at his place, I texted him and said...
  20. Q

    Relationship The Start Of "future" Talks

    That's awesome! It's nice to see forward progress in relationships because reading these posts helps me see hope and light and possibility. Communication is something that my guy struggles with a lot. He knows he does, and he tells me how hard it is to open up, especially about relationships and...
  21. Q

    Relationship So...what Do You Call This?

    I've posted about my "guy" (term used loosely) before, but quick recap. We met in June online and started seeing each other regularly after that (we never made anything "official"). He told me within 2 weeks that he has PTSD, he's in the army and has been deployed twice, is divorced (no kids)...
  22. Q

    Relationship Question For Sufferers

    Thank you @FridayJones !. That's where my brain was at too when I tried (perhaps inarticulately) to point out above. It seems like all I've read and discussed with sufferers, that's spot on.
  23. Q

    Relationship Question For Sufferers

    This is where I get really confused. I've read some sufferers say that yes, absolutely, their PTSD has a lot to do with difficulties communicating, articulating thoughts, feelings, trusting enough to be open to share things, and fighting the need to isolate/retreat completely from loved ones and...
  24. Q

    Balance

    I know others have weighed in, but..... [inserting my two cents] Not only does this not sound like PTSD or PTSD-related behaviors, but this sounds like the pattern of a serial cheater. I only say this because I dated one such individual, and it was one of the most harrowing experiences of my...
  25. Q

    Scared My T......

    The reason I asked if she's got any experience with trauma is that, it can be very easy for someone to further traumatize a client if they are not well-trained. It sounds like she dealt with you at best very insensitively, but at worst this could be enough for some people to write off therapy...
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