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All my feelings are coming up, methinks he was a distraction...

Aw thanks Deb :-) I am feeling better today, decided not to look at my email for four days, by that time I will be able to look but right now I am feeling too addicted to this person and needy and have to get back to me and my life again, I have abandoned myself So cold turkey it is! And I can...

Thank you so much everybody So happy to read your replies, I have woken up feeling better than yesterday and okay Guess I had this massive anxiety around it as this is new behaviour for me and something I have never done in my life before, in the past even when s guy who I liked, was clearly...

Thank you so much, that's very helpful, I'm about to turn out the lights for bed so will do some breathing exercises in bed, yes you're right and tomorrow I'll stop incessantly checking the mail, I am powerless over what he does, can't control him or explain what's going on But I can be kind to...

Hi there, I am triggered by the rejection, I made myself vulnerable, I was meant to attend a gathering tonight and couldn't go because of shame, now I can't sleep In my attempt at a relationship I have also disconnected and lost time when I believed I was rejected Rejection and abandonment...

Thank you both, Hodge, that was reassuring! I don't know why he hasn't replied, he is a bit married to his job though which could be something to watch and he is also a strict Buddhist, I really will have to stop looking at the phone every time it beeps tomorrow, it means I have a hundred...

Dear all, just posting because I'm upset right now, I feel foolish and massively triggered, I am trying to get over a serious love addiction that has blighted my life so far and now afraid I have again messed something up There was somebody in my last job I felt an attraction to and I then left...

Thank you so much GrayOwl! I hope we will both have plenty more of the positive stuff to share on this board as we grow and recover, blessings to you! :-) X

I am incredibly grateful for all your responses, thank you - when I wrote my post I was fearful of being judged or told off for airing my views here about the fellowships I was in, I wasn't in AA, I was in Codependent's Anonymous, Underearner's Anonymous and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous I...

Dear all, I just thought I'd share on here that I have lately come to the realisation that my twelve step groups were very much like one big cult...I was in three twelve step fellowships for the longest time but I suddenly became aware that my self worth and my self esteem was being eroded away...

SheilaKathy, thank you my dear, for your kind words Yes, focus on the ones who love and treat me well, God is good all the time indeed, thanks X X

Thank you so much :-) I've just seen your warm welcomes X X

Thank you for replying to me Eve, I'm so sorry that happened to you, these people club together in packs sometimes I think Unbelievable, we've just got to put boundaries up with them I think Yes it's them, that's what we've got to remember, not us...........X

Does a happy dance :-) Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed reading it, here it's late evening, I'm glad I could post on here about it, it's comforting, I'll sleep easier tonight All of those things you listed, the wanting to shrink into the chair, lash out, go mute, were things I once would have...

Hahahahhahah hah! ;-) Thanks yeah I think I do have some stuff to be proud of, lol I think I'm getting dizzy from all this ebbing and flowing! Yes I think I'm doing well and recovering, you've made me feel much better tonight Ragdoll Circus, I love your style of writing too and your sense of...

Hello again Ragdoll Circus! It's really good to hear from you again and actually my eyes got moist when I saw your post, I was touched so much by your supportiveness and your kind words Thanks for really understanding...I did think, do I dare say something and I didn't quite dare to go that far...

I was feeling timid, shy and extremely vulnerable in the street and triggered by loud noises, I am working tomorrow too at an event and my mum said she'd be there, normally I'd go....oh no! But today I felt glad, I felt like I needed mummy there and she'd make everything okay for me, I'm nervous...

Hi there you good people, I just wanted to post on here because very sad and upset right now, I find it hard to cry but feel on the verge of crying, I just went to a twelve step recovery group ( SLAA ), the meetings are normally amazing but I've never felt safe in this one, the people there are...

Thank you Ragdoll Circus, yeah three recovery programmes is getting to feel a bit too much, last night I had a dream all about having lots of fun, going out dancing with friends, travelling etc and I paid attention to it, I think I need to have more fun in my life, it's feeling out of balance I...

This is happening to me at the moment and I can so identify with you, I usually attend three group therapy groups a week and I see a therapist every two weeks but ever since I became overwhelmed with emotions to the point of having to " switch " which was quite traumatic.........I have just felt...

Yes I can't wait to see her actually to talk about this stuff, really! I didn't know that the therapy could cause conflict between me and my parts, that's interesting, yes I may try to begin the inner dialogue, writing is really helping at the moment I know that the louder alter feels a need to...

Thank you Ragdoll Circus, this is all new to me, though a few alters have begun to appear in the therapy room which took me by surprise, it is such a relief though to be aware of them at last! I feel lighter definitely It's so reassuring that yes, they are hidden from plain sight and it makes...

Welcome John, I have complex PTSD too and I am in twelve step recovery, I have already found this place incredibly helpful :-) I hope you can heal your toxic shame through the twelve steps and through the therapy and this forum, I feel blessed to have found this site, there don't seem to be any...

Thank you JEKBreatheandBelieve :) this is reassuring, I can only see him at the moment more or less in a professional capacity unless I happen to bump into him so I haven't seen him yet, so it's hard to detect - but the fact that I managed to excuse myself and nobody accompanied me and my...

Hi there, it has taken me a week to process this but at last, I'm out of denial...I can't deny that a week ago I switched dramatically and without warning - all of sudden, in the middle of a social interaction with my crush at work and colleague - bam! I remember thinking what a nice man he is...