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  1. H

    I Finally Broke The Silence

    Although I have written some things here and talked around things to some friends I have never been able to say the actual words of what happened. I speak in euphemisms or have them sort of guess what I am saying. But last night I was able to actually say the words of what happened to a friend...
  2. H

    New To Therapy And Really Having A Hard Time

    So the therapist ended our session yesterday with "next week we may want to discuss if I'm really the best therapist for you." I also wasn't feeling it but it doesn't encourage me because we started picking at the trauma and now I have to start over with a new person probably :(. The beginning...
  3. H

    Poll Do You Watch Law & Order: Svu?

    I can't watch it for so many reasons The graphic nature guarantees a flashback I feel immense guilt and shame over not reporting/staying silent I find it annoying when they catch the person and it's all neatly tied up and fixed I find it even more unbearable when it isn't neatly tied up because...
  4. H

    Poll Did You Report

    I know that a lot of people don't report but I'm finding myself very upset by these statistics. I shouldn't talk though, I'm part of the percentage that didn't report. It was my best friend's father over a the span of several months so I didn't feel like I could blow up her life too. In the end...
  5. H

    The Big White House

    There are so many sweet, innocent people on this forum who suffered things a person should never know about :sorry: it's a huge step to be able to talk about these things and I give you all the kudos in the world for doing it. I hope that you're able to work through this here and with...
  6. H

    Midnight Flashbacks.

    I'm sorry for what you've been through. Flashbacks can be so debilitating especially since you have all of the pain/fear/guilt with absolutely no power. The reality is that we had no power over the situation either when it was going on. It's totally understandable to feel guilt (we all do) but...
  7. H

    Difficulty Moving And Speaking?

    I'm sorry you're going through this. And it is totally valid. It happens all the time to me too (in varying ways). Sometimes it's just that i disappear into my mind or other times it's like I leave my body and physically can't speak even if I wanted to. I've done it since the (and during) the...
  8. H

    Flashback

    I'm sorry you're having flashbacks. They are honestly the worst because you're minding your own business and then you're back in the trauma with sensory-surround sound but you're also surrounded by people :grumpy: I hope they get back under control. Hang in there
  9. H

    Nausea When Nervous

    Ugh stress nausea is the worst. Depending on how bad the nausea is I try to find a way to combat it. Sometimes I'll use medications (antacid, PPI, H2 receptor blocker) but often it's just s stop gap. Relaxation and sipping peppermint tea are what helps. Sometimes fresh air and feeling...
  10. H

    Panic/anxiety And Violence?

    I'm Sorry you're struggling right now. If you're on bed rest and feeling hyperactive it can be really hard. Would a stress ball/play dough/ etc help you feel better? It would be something to do with your hands that you can't break. You can squeeze the dough or the ball and chuck it around if you...
  11. H

    How Long Can Anxiety Last?

    I'm sorry you're having such a hard time coping right now :( I don't know if I just have social anxiety because it's my personality or because of the PTSD. It's never kept me from school/work but there have for sure been times where I completely avoid friends/any social interaction that's not...
  12. H

    Does Anyone Have A Fear Of ??

    I agree with above. It could just be the loud noises. My trauma has nothing to do with thunder sounds but too much sensory input of any kind can be a trigger. Totally understandable
  13. H

    New To Therapy And Really Having A Hard Time

    I think I just need to tell her I can't talk about it now. It's too much and I get too overwhelmed because I honestly don't know how to cope with my feelings and I can't go around being a jerk because I'm triggered. I just bad at saying no to people
  14. H

    New To Therapy And Really Having A Hard Time

    I just started therapy and I'm having an exceedingly hard time. The sexual abuse took place 12 years ago when I was a young teen and I never talked about it at all. So there is just a lot shame and silence surrounding it in general. I had my second appointment and she said we didn't have to go...
  15. H

    Fear or mascots

    I don't think it's at all irrational especially if your trauma is connected to childhood. A mascot is like a giant stuffed animal that chases you around. It could be that in of itself and that is totally valid on its own. It could also be the fact that you can't see a mascots face/who they are...
  16. H

    Hypervigilance

    I hear this and can totally relate. I think that's what living with/recovering from PTSD is. We have this faulty program and physical processing that tells us we have to be paranoid and distrustful of people because humans are selfish/bad etc. but no one can happily live that way. I'm not at a...
  17. H

    Constant irritability and short fuse

    ^ I think sometimes I just need to be more unapologetic about excusing myself and going to get alone time. Because everyone already thinks I'm a jerk if I'm zoned out around them or making angry stress comments because I'm overstimulated. Better to just be elsewhere if I need to.
  18. H

    Dealing With Erratic/'wild-card' People

    I would probably scream at someone if they poked me like that. And I live in NY which is totally a mental asylum I mean even like today, the biggest wild card in my life sits right next to me in class and fidgets and messes around with everything on our table and messes with the table cloth...
  19. H

    Sexual Assault Silenced

    Just started. Everything is conspiring against me in this regard. I think I get so frustrated because I know what is broken and what it should be like but I don't have the tools to fix it.
  20. H

    Sexual Assault Silenced

    i think the biggest thing the sexual assault did was silence me. I was 14 and he was my best friends dad. So even once I knew what was really happening and wanted it to stop, I couldn't actually do anything without blowing up my life and her life. She would have been devestated to find out. I...
  21. H

    General I Don't Think I Understand The Concept Of Isolating

    Isolating is my main form of coping when I am feeling triggered or just having a generally bad day. I think for me it's two fold: A) I am usually feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed in a sensory way so being somewhere quiet and safe and low key is the only thing that helps me feel like me...
  22. H

    Agitated! Aahhhh!

    Totally understand this feeling. I feel like I am constantly on the verge of imploding. Like my skin is going to burn up and explode from the inside out. Do you have a lot of 'overstimulation ' problems in general? My senses are constantly on overdrive and I find it really overwhelming at...
  23. H

    Dealing With Erratic/'wild-card' People

    Most people someone who is a wild-card. They are too loud, take up too much space, and you can never plan for or anticipate what they'll do next. People like this are a huge trigger for my PTSD and I often don't know how to handle them. Being around them makes me panicky which leads to immense...
  24. H

    What Has Ptsd Cost You?

    PTSD has cost me a carefree childhood/ adolescence. It has cost me self worth, security, easy laughter, flexibility, comfort, relationships, trust, etc. It has tried to eat away all that I am and all that I could be. So now begins the long difficult struggle towards happiness and sanity.
  25. H

    Constant irritability and short fuse

    My dorm mom knows and my roommate knows (and is amazing). But I for sure wouldn't share with all of them. It's not in my nature anyway but it's also something that a bunch of them wouldn't be sensitive to. A few of them are honestly some of the most abrasive people I have ever met. They are...
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