Poll Did You Report

[Broken Dahlia]

It was never an option for me since mine was in a relationship context and it became the norm. The firs...

My first was in a relationship and I reported years later. His educated, wealthy, attorney father made sure that evidence disappeared. Sorry you went through this, too.

 

[Chitoshi]

I never reported because 1) it was abroad and I'd have to go back there to accuse my rapist even though he is a US citizen from my understanding because it is the foreign country's jurisdiction; 2) my study abroad group basically told the girls"don't get raped, and if you do this country won't believe you because you are American tourists and the stereotype is against you."

I still don't report because at this point I think moving on is better for my well being and recovery. I will heal better if I don't have to pursue a court battle in a different country with almost no evidence except for my word from almost four or five years ago now, I don't care to do the math.

Hope this helps. :)

 

[SeanCharles]

I will gladly respond to this poll! :) Unfortunately, I didn't report the abuse in terms of the legal system simply because that choice was left up to my mom and biological father at the time (like many choices), chose to not subject me to the legal system since doing so would have done further damage. I do see a pattern here I can't quite identify although I am seeing a familiar pattern... hmmm...

If the abuse had been reported to law enforcement, I would have been treated much like a criminal and not a victim! After all, it was the 70s and back then the law was much different compared to now, which is still in many ways broken! Just thought I'd share. I did report the abuse to my biological father though when the time came to breaking the silence.

 

[SeanCharles]

My mom did tell his parents, it was a family "friend"

Unfortunately I couldn't add this to my previous post... This rings a bell as part of the pattern I mentioned earlier. Am I missing something or am I blindly not seeing what I should be. My mom as I recall worked with the jerk's mother. The whole irony of this has me :angry: I really need to do some writing... Hmmm...

 

[Naoru]

Was forced to report my MSA. Bad idea.

Never reported anything else. Said it was my fault, tried to pretend none of it happened, and ran away.

If I could turn back time ...

 

[Hanala]

so many don't report. If you're comfortable, please answer why you did or didn't report.

The last...

I know that a lot of people don't report but I'm finding myself very upset by these statistics. I shouldn't talk though, I'm part of the percentage that didn't report. It was my best friend's father over a the span of several months so I didn't feel like I could blow up her life too. In the end, i never ended up reporting. I never told a soul until recently starting therapy (12 years later). I think the greatest degree of my suffering came from the silence. It's really debilitating sometimes.

 

[ericaboo]

My mother and I decided together that I would make a police report. She herself had been assaulted and the perpetrator was never caught. So many years later I feel conflicted because I was counseled not to press charges with the stipulation he would have mandatory treatment. Because the records were sealed I'll never know the outcome.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

I didn't report I was 16 and pretended it didn't happen. I still wouldn't tbh the system is f*cked and I'd rather not be treated like a liar. I know a few other people who did report and wish they didn't.

 

[Symphony]

I didn't really know what to do about it

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

my CSA I was 5, then R x3 (1 by staff member) I could not report because I reported my abuse already to my SW at DSS only to be told to live with it (before the R x 3). I had all 3 forms of abuse there, that ended in Dec 18 1978, then my Gang R occured winter of 1979. I did not report, I was catatonic for half a day afterwards.

 

[-lemurlibs91-]

I didn't report mine because it was effectively date r*pe the first time...but after that I went back and even though I still strongly didn't consent, it happened again and again. I don't know why I went back. Well I do, but it's a very complicated emotional thing and I was quite mentally unwell at the time. I went completely the opposite way and became very promiscuous and got myself into loads of bad situations where I just wasn't present while stuff happened that I told myself I was comfortable with when I wasn't. I didn't really let myself even figure that any of it had happened for at least 3 years. Anyway, they'd have never believed me especially with me acting like that. Also there was another person involved and he was highly intelligent and would have never been viewed as anything other than a model citizen.

I told one friend about 6 months after but then it kinda disappeared, I had a lapse into psychosis and that kind of took over. I mentioned it in therapy a year ago....then recently I sought out a therapist who specialises in trauma, and told my boyfriend - once we lived together he saw a lot more of my PTSD and I needed to explain it to him. I've always made sure anything I say in therapy leaves them anonymous, which is helped by the fact that there are memory holes, including their faces and exactly where it was.

Sometimes now I regret not reporting it, because they might have carried onto do it to other people...but I honestly just think that if I had they would have simply got better at hiding it, or they would have made it even worse in terms of emotional abuse for any people so that they wouldn't dare report, and I didn't want to be responsible for that. Even if that wasn't the case.

 

[Bristol]

I didnt report the first abuser he died long before i got chance, i did for the second but i dropped the charges because i was made out to be crazy and no one believed me and police werent supportive in the slightest, it was not worth it