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Addison is one of the conditions I'm having some investigations for. I don't know much about it at this stage but chronic stress can trigger adrenal fatigue as the condition is pretty much what it says on the tin. I suffer from laboured breathing and rapid pulse, respiratory and cardiac pain as...

I too live with pain. I'm so sad you're suffering too. It's exhausting and emotionally draining due to the invisibility of it sometimes. My cardiac and digestive systems are still undergoing invasive tests whilst I'm simultaneously working four ten hour shifts a week on site as a skilled...

Ahh whatever I do I can't find the words. Those close to me know about my abandonment issues. I both do more for them driven by this and let them anhillate boundaries. Anything not to be thrown away. Trust is so hard as is self respect. Suspicion paranoia are harder to fight when the people who...

Wow this thread had really resonated with me. I gotta go but I'm gonna come back to this and give it the time it deserves

Thank you both for your time. Trying to get our deposit back today. My eyes swelled shut and I dissociated all afternoon yesterday. Row with loved one. Anyone else get the eyes ting? Getting my heart checked out and going back to therapy whilst sorting this housing ting is the plan. I've got a...

I feel like I am losing the plot again. Chaos everywhere. Tired of being emotionally stoned to death. Nowhere else I'd rather be. Shut in the dark. Can't deal with any light right now. Losing my first and only home to. My heart is exhausted like it might just pack up. I truly did everything...

I don't have the kids full time as I share PR with social services. I was attending therapy but it interrupted work hours so I stopped a few months ago a did kinda gone as far as i can go with that group anyway. Doing my best to support hubby and work with the ss but failingandfeel like I'm just...

I had been doing OK. Going to work, being intimate with hubby. Sorting things with the kids. Now his mental health is rocky, my daughter won't talk to me my sons seizures are terrifying and in spite of all the constant self deprecating love care and support I have provided my husband with and...

I'm not used to such gentle words. Tears instantly started flooding down my face and still are. Thank you for your kind words, thank you so much.

I have to take some responsibility for the people I was involved with. We had pissed them off. This was there revenge attack. They were one of my best friends pimps. I helped her move away from that situation. I still feel ashamed and exposed. My husband is a wonderful man but his fuse in...

These self mutilation urges especially center around stabbing myself to cutting body parts off. The only one of their threats they didn't carry out. The exhaustion of fighting these urges has bought back very lucid soul destroying nightmares about the video. Them masked waterbourding, gang and...

I don't have friends I can be weak around. Family makes it worse. Talking to them when I feel vulnerable always is the final nail in the coffin. Therapy group starts again on Monday. I do need to restrict my bathroom and mirror time but I just got stuck there again. What's more I'mm now feeling...

I am recognising the reoccurrence of some old symptoms as I start to emotionally and physically lock myself away. Urges to slice my breasts. Getting lost in the broken bathroom mirror pressing the cold blade to my skin all morning but I haven't cut. Scattered unfocused thought. Losing ability to...

When I was living in a children's ward at St George's with my son he nurses said I used to walk barefoot from the parents room navigating two swabbed doors a lift( when I'm awake it's always the stairs so f*ck knows. Apparently when I'm asleep a lift is more convenient) a maze of corridors which...

OK thank you. I need a UK size six. Its one of the reasons I struggle with this issue so much is cos most swimwear I can find in my size barely covers anything. And that also triggers urges to hack at my tits. I went in the sea in my jeans and the shirt the other day which was nice. I think if I...

Thank you Zoogal and Congruency for the awesome advice. Which stores are you typing about?

The impending doom has intensified since I started to properly recover from the abuse. Somehow I find myself on a spinning ball of rock in radioactive space circling in towards an incomprehensible huge ball of nuclear fusion admits a big old gang of asteroids some capable of wiping out humanity...

Shorts is one of the hurdles I am trying to conquer as I am self conscious of the scarring on my legs. T shirt and leggings is my current go to for a dip but even that still is tough fear heart rate wise. When I am really stressed I seem to lose like half a stonein a day from fear alone and...

I think so

I just opened up in a post that I'm not sure I was supposed to but it just kinda happened and I'm really sorry if the subject wasn't on point relative to the thread but I can't bring myself to type those words again. This is the first summer I haven't gone on some crazy mish training)(and...

I get the intense frozen fear lock down ting but mostly as I'm working on breaking down some longstanding boundaries. This time of year is a particularly difficult transition to lighter clothing swimming etc. I lost my virginity to five men age six in the newest line of summer clothing. AND...

I don't know what's wrong with me since I've stopped living almost entirely dissocociated but there's so much I've never noticed before in the here and now that's putting me right back to that extreme terror. No one around me can understand why it's so extreme that I had to pull genuinely huge...

Near the end I didn't want them to let my head back above the water. The painful bit is the fight for life. I met death over 30 times in those somewhere between three and five days. Then for years laughed death in the face. Now I have stuff to do, a life, love, reason. Death is haunting me at...

Can you find any safe projects.? You need something to do to ride this out without putting your self in danger. If you learn how to steer your manics they can be a useful tool at times but you gotta practice damage limitation. I am ptsd but ex bi polar so I get where your at. Stay safe. Meaning...

I ended up running away not long after that post. The pressure of not being heard was destroying me but I only made things worse for myself, timing was shit too I ended up spending the of the coldest weeks this winter on a unheated church floor with grabby handed alcoholics then whet not I got...