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Recently got back in contact with the practise I had therapy at to start up again. I just think that there are a lot of unresolved issues with my past trauma and thought this would be the best decision for me going forward. The last time I went to therapy I got to some of the last sessions of...

:// one day we’ll feel comfortable enough with someone we feel comfortable enough to go without alcohol. i remember speaking with a GP who made me feel safe and her telling me that too. that sex will be enjoyable one day and that what i’ve been through doesn’t need to ruin that forever.

Like a lot of people who have already spoken, I have definitely used sex and risk taking as a coping mechanism (and still do, I made a recent thread about my experience). I’ve only ever had sex when I was drunk, and only began having sex after my assault. I’ve felt what it’s like to be around a...

you’re right. all i meant was without my trauma i wouldn’t behave like this. sure i’m young and i’m bound to make mistakes, but i would’ve never been as reckless as an after what happened and i think @Friday described it perfectly as that choice vs control, and pushing your limits, testing your...

i’m at uni right now, redoing my second year again. my assault happened in my first year of uni and naturally affected my outlook on life, motivation, and how i felt towards university. you explained it perfectly. that idea of choice and control and pushing my own boundaries. it’s like playing...

no i haven’t been in a year now. I was in counselling for a bit but again a lot of similar behaviour, drinking too much, etc. meant my file was closed because of missed appointments. That’s really been hanging over me lately, hard to get to terms with. I wanted to help myself so badly and then...

For as long as I can remember after my trauma I’ve done things to put myself in a lot of danger. Usually fuelled by alcohol, I’ve acted in ways that scream “I don’t care what happens to me.” and mostly with men. I’ve taken drugs off a man I just met in a club, I’ve wandered the streets drunk in...

I can’t even begin to explain how much I relate to this. Even before my assault I had this complex when it came to men. The assault almost “confirmed” it. He completely ignored my boundaries, and forced me into something I never wanted to be a part of. I always find it so hard to talk about that...

Thank you so much to everyone who messaged back. I’m in a better place now than I was when I sent that message. Hopefully it stays that way for a little longer. Just taking each day as it comes and I appreciate everyone for looking out for me.

is there anyone i can speak to? i’m desperate

Right now I’m living with five lovely girls. We share a house together now but haven’t always known each other. With university housing, I ended up meeting them through our uni website as they were looking for an additional housemate for a six bedroom home and I was looking for someone to live...

I’m 19

Your message at the end was beautiful. That is such a brave thing, to share your stories like that. Thank you for sharing, you are completely heard, and I’m so sorry you had to experience this. Are you getting help? Or able to talk to someone you trust about what you’ve been through? We’re all...

I don’t think I could read it again. It was hard the first time, and kept bringing me back to memories of that night. I know where our stories are different but the coercion and persistence from him I read really reminded me of my own experience, remembering how aggressive he’d been. In my...

Using intimidation and coercion how dare men like that turn around and say I didn’t realise I had done anything wrong. Never ending cycle of entitled men, and “women who should no better”, because in a situation like this I am somehow responsible for both of us and YOUR actions reflect poorly on...

The unnamed 23yr old photographer’s account of sexual assault by Aziz Ansari that’s been brought to light recently has made me feel uneasy. Much of what she detailed, the coercion, her repeatedly saying “no”, him motioning so she could perform oral s*x on him, was so similar to my own...

No. I numbed it out and tried to carry on like everything was normal. I just waited to hear from him again, just spent the day watching my phone waiting for him to text me. He’d asked if I was free right after and promised to come see me the next day. I haven’t seen or heard from him since the...

I have reported. It got me nowhere; the case was dropped a couple months ago. It doesn’t help that my experience with the police was terrible and that even the decision to report felt forced on me so to not get an outcome that felt like “all of this was worth it” has really hurt. I’m so sorry...

Yeah, “my word against his”.

I was wondering if anyone has considered doing so, whether publicly or anonymously (by sharing your story through another person and having them out your abuser). Really recently I came across a girl with a similar story to mine; she had been r*ped very recently, was the same age as me and in...

Struggling with whether I feel safe or comfortable or if I’m even ready to let anyone in after what happened. It’s hard to tell if my nervousness is my intuition saying I’m not quite there yet or the side of me still stuck in the past, seeing him in all men; maybe it’s one in the same, an...

I’m trying so hard to fight the urge to check up on him through social media. I promised myself this new year I wouldn’t do anything that would harm myself, and that included staying away from him entirely. These past two days have felt fine but now I can feel myself struggle. It’s almost like...

I understand and feel like I can relate to a lot of what you said. Anniversaries are difficult; right now I’m struggling with the ticking months that go by edging closer to the first year mark but @Rain is right. Self-care is so so important in times like that. We can’t help how feel and how...

It’s amazing to hear how well you’re doing and how much this has worked for you; I’ll definitely be looking into it more. I’ve very recently opened up to my therapist about suffering from depression, anxiety and bdd, all before what happened, as well as giving her an insight into my childhood...

I thought this was beautiful, actually everything you said was. So thank you. I am in therapy. I haven’t seen anyone over the holiday period. It’s hard because the help I get is away from home. When I go back to uni I’ll be able to receive it again. Time apart from my counsellor always feels...