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    Music at gyms

    DO any of you go to a gym? I go to one. It has three branches. After all my trauma and head injuries it is hard to be there now because they started music. They had one branch that was free of it. It is loud and obnoxious and relentless. I wrote them a humiliating letter about trauma and head...
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    Church

    ... Good point. I think it is the way no one will connect with me, but if I look closely, they are not connecting with anyone but their phones. Maube it is not me.
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    Free falling again

    I feel the same. I have no mental health insurance. I had a therapist pro bono but they are only like 8 session. I am in abject poverty because you have to be poor in the USA to receive medical care on disability. So the last 6 months, my only goal was not to kill myself. I took hemp oil which...
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    Sexual Assault Do you ever get over being overly sensitive about doctors and ob/gyn visits?

    Never go. I refuse to go to any dr because I cannot stand to be touched. My therapist wrote a letter that if I had to be seen, they cannot touch me or if they have to use gloves. I cannot stand skin to skin. Never.
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    Church

    I dont go because people think I am the weirdo. I never connect to anyone and usually feel God has forgotten me anyway. Before PTSD I did not feel this way
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    Isolated & alone

    I feel so alone, too. I am not always alone, but I feel so disconnected. It does not help that I am sick and that makes it worse because when you are sick you have to do it alone. But I am glad I have people here who really get it.. . This place helps a lot.
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    The Pain Of Positive Attention?

    Holy moly. Yes. I never put that into words very well. OMGosh yes. When someone is nice I get confused. When they are mean, I am not. when nice, I do not know how much to be their friend, how much to connect and not cling. I tend to cling emotionally but not physically. Like I can be totally...
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    Should I Have Known?

    OMG. What an idiot!! Really? So moms for millions of years are bad moms because they did not have synthetic vit D to give them thousands of years ago. My Gosh!! How DID Julius Caesar survive???? Or I should say Tolstoy? What a total idiot and you are a GREAT MOM to care about your dear little...
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    What's So Bad About Self Harm?

    Interesting post! I tend to think it is not good though, because it leaves scars and later on, as other posters said, they are hard to explain AND it can escalate. And of course, it can kill. One of my friends sucided and I often wonder if it was a mistake. I never did a lot of that except...
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    BPD Ptsd and borderline personality disorder

    I do see your point. In fact when I posted, I reconsidered. No, I never had BPD. But one therapist screened me after a very harsh and forceful demanding way of saying I had it before he even knew I was abused. This was a T i saw one day because I was suicidal. He based it ONLY on that!! I was...
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    BPD Ptsd and borderline personality disorder

    OMgosh. Totally. So many therapists dx PTSD victims with BPD which is unfair. They are very different. Marsha Linehan in one of her books said that A LOT of BPD is CAUSED by trauma. So they should scrap the dx of BPD. It has very negative connotations now.
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    Assault Service dog and i were attacked tonight

    Please keep us posted. I was bit by a dog. Twice. Both not too bad. One was a big dog who nipped me and broke my pants and skin. The owner was shocked! We were walking and he was on a leash. I still recall her screaming, "Cornflake!!" He had never ever done that. Hmmm. But it was OK. THe other...
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    Containment Strategies

    My brain would ache. Just ACHE. Nothing I could do. Then I go a head injury. Poof. now I cannot ruminate. Yes, I cannot concentrate, either, but I can't ruminate either. Do not know what was best. I only wish it had been a worse head injury so I could not even remember.
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    Pick Your Own?

    This is so odd because it is so me. I hate my name and when people say I cringe. It is a nice name, nothing weird about it. It's like Karen (it is not Karen, just an example). So I started to tell people another name, just as benign. I will say "Maria" . So half the people in my life think I am...
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    Just Saw A Picture Of Abuser On Social Media.

    HUGS!! It is so hard to avoid. I went without a computer a whole year toget peace but it did not help because then I was totally isolated.
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    My Life Flipped 4 Years Ago

    Had an accident too and it was bad. I already had PTSD. No settlement because I was already on Medicare. Look up the Medicare Set Aside. If you are on Medicare and get into a wreck, the money has to go to Medicare. Got many injuries, some of which can be seen and others which will need sugery...
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    What's Our Fault And What Isn't?

    It is hard because WE have a conscience, unlike our abusers, so even if we fly off we struggle with it as your post even suggests by even starting it! Yeah, I get mad and stuff, but i also know that I am in NO WAY at all what I would have been. But what if that would have been worse? Just...
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    Relationship Starting Over As Friends? Need Advice...

    That is exactly what I have seen! I have a little nephew (well, he is 16) and ALL he wants is to join the Marines and I tell him be careful!!! On the one hand, it is so dangerous, but on the other, it is like a lifelong bond. How many of us have that? I admire that bond they have. No matter...
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    As Hard As I Try I Keep Getting Knocked Down

    Goodness! That is exactly what I do, too. Why are our brains so irrational and why do they work so hard against us??? It makes me so mad.
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    Relationship Starting Over As Friends? Need Advice...

    Marines are special. I know several, and it is true. Once a Marine, always a Marine for many. However, there are others who feel terribly betrayed by the Gvt. Where does he fit in? Does he still embrace his service or is it now something that leave him feeling betrayed? I dated a Vietnam Vet...
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    As Hard As I Try I Keep Getting Knocked Down

    This is why I fear people. The older I get with PTSD, the weirder I become because I mostly had no help. I realized several years ago that the ONLY people who come into my circle are either other sufferers or what you said, the Dreaded Do-Gooders. OMG, those dreaded do-gooders do SO MUCH F-ing...
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    Why Am I Not Over Him?

    So painful to read because I know this feeling. My brain is so sick it baffles me sometimes. "Brain, I know you are doing your best, but why do you go to places over and over and torment the rest of this mind and body? You, my dear Brain, are ill. Listen to Reason, if you can." Sometimes...
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    Conversations In Head

    I am so perplexed. Several year ago, life went on a tear for me. You know how it is. PTSD does not mean OTHER things will not happen. Like illness, accidents, etc....... I was under so much stress that I started to have conversations in my head with certain people. Here is the way it happened...
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    How Often Do You Think About Therapy?

    Oh I used to so this. I do hate it! Sometimes it bleeds over to other people, not just T. I really hate that, too! I just want my mind back.
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    When Does It Stop????

    (((LOST)))) I hate to see you so sad. If I had any words to cheer you, I would say them. When I get down and feel that my life is coming to an end, I like to read Homer's Iliad. It makes me see things differently.....I read Homer's Iliad a lot these day. I wish I could make us ALL well.
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