Isolated & alone

[BlueWeepingRose]

Right now I feel so isolated and alone right now. I even regret opening up to my friends about my abuse because it makes me look weak. Don't want people to feel sorry for me. Now that I'm alone I'm extremely jealous. Most of all my friends are happy, in relationships, married, have kids and I'm stuck in the past because I was abused so many times.

I'm depressed on top of it and I've been very distant with people. Sometimes I even think that my friends enjoy talking to others more than me because their most likely happier than me and most likely can make my friends laugh. Here I am broken by what happened to me and it's very hard for me to move on.

Right now I just feel so isolated and wish I had someone to talk too who understands how I feel. I hate feeling like this.

I hate feeling alone. =(

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

 

[Deleted member 34328]

I get it. The rest of the world goes on and yet we'really left behind by things that we had no control over.

That is a distorted view, you are moving forward...just really doesn't feel like it. The pain is very intense. I hear your tears in between the lines.

Just remember, here you AREN'T alone!

 

[Pakadlangitok]

I feel so alone, too. I am not always alone, but I feel so disconnected. It does not help that I am sick and that makes it worse because when you are sick you have to do it alone. But I am glad I have people here who really get it.. . This place helps a lot.

 

[Rani G2]

I'm Depressed on top of it and I've been very distant with people.

BlueWeepingRose I feel very much the same way. The disconnection we perceive as reality, is a disconnection from our own self. Parts of our states ( more emotional states fixed in time) are buried and linger in our consciousness. Therapy should be able to reintegrate those parts in our system. When these parts are being recognized healing begins.

I am just repeating these stuff, but the experience isnt still 100% there yet. So, talking and doing....big difference!



Shankara

 

[aut555]

I value my aloneness. But you are reaching out in pain. This is a temporary speed bump. Can you go out and do something that brings out passion? Volunteer, art class, clean up crew, and so on. If you are out doing something even part-time you may start to love yourself more and in turn have more confidence and draw your friends back to you. I wallowed around in anger, pain, misery for two years because of extremely abusive relationship. Now l smile, granted my life isn't fantastic but it beats the horrible abuse any day l was subjected to by my husband, (what a joke, to love and to honor, my husband read hold her hostage in our marriage vows, lol). So really let yourself feel that pain, that loss, because at sometime it will get boring and you will fall out of it on your terms and timeframe. This doesn't belittle what you are feeling, but l am hoping you see that eventually you do grieve and then start to heal. I felt shame about the abuse, but then l am giving him power by staying in that thought process. I don't want him having that power, so forget the shame. I decided to concentrate on why l missed the signs he didn't really care. Which was a good thing to do. We all make mistakes in life. This happens to people from all walks of life. Extremely intelligent people get duped by abusers and even marry them. One such guy claimed to be a Rockefeller heir, duped an extremely sophisticated woman to marry him, and later abused her. Goggle that story, he just went to trial last year. Hope you feel better, sending compassion and a virtual teddy bear to release you from your pain.