5 Years After Emdr :)

[RecoveringGirl]

Just wanted to post some encouragement :) While I still have occasional "flare ups" my PTSD has been more or less cured for about 4 years now. It's possible!! This month I've had a little bit of an issue with sex, but I rarely have flashbacks and my past no longer determines how I feel today.

I grew up in a mostly mentally abusive family with both my parents suffering serious mental illness. There were years and years of crazy experiences with my father that left me with terrible graphic nightmares from age 13-23 every single night. I had several major depressions, and was first suicidal at age 11. I also was a cutter for years and had an eating disorder for about a year. All destructive ways of trying to channel the pain...

My recovery came mainly from EMDR therapy, which took 2 years of weekly sessions. Before that I had seen 4 or 5 counselors who weren't helpful (so keep trying if you haven't found someone who works for you yet!). Therapy was really painful and I hated it, but I figured I wanted to get it over with so I could have the rest of my life back. I was completely honest with the therapist and I think I couldn't have recovered fully if I hadn't shared the most shameful experiences and intrusive thoughts.

Other things that helped me a lot were: making a list of healthy coping/stress reduction techniques (exercise, calling someone, writing), grounding techniques (name 5 things you can see/hear/touch/smell/taste), getting a pet, getting sleeping meds & strictly following a sleep schedule, eating healthily, and taking control over how much contact I have with my family. Now I pay close attention to my mood and have done a few more therapy sessions here and there when things got out of hand and also take Wellbutrin if I'm getting depressed. Lexapro was great too.

Keep working! You have the ability to change your life and take control. For some people it's easier, for others it means completely divorcing yourself from your old life. Whatever it takes to have your sanity back, it's worth it.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thanks for sharing your recovery with us. I really appreciate the hopefulness of what you had to say. I am so happy for you. I am so glad there comes a time that the past does not haunt so. You gave me so much hope for the future. Hugs.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Thanks it is great to hear Emdr worked for you. I have had several sessions and I thought I was going to end up in the hospital. Taking a break until after the holidays and going to give it another go. So kind of you to share hope!

 

[Shellbell]

Thank you for sharing your journey and your huge success in being virtually symptom free! :) :tup:

I am really happy for you as it's a very painful, difficult journey and you have shown with honesty and persistence, it can be done and is so worth it.

 

[Dissociation]

Great job!!! :tup:
Thank you for sharing, I will copy the grounding exercise :happy:

 

[Deleted member 16646]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I'm a therapist who uses EMDR as my primary method (for over 17 years) and I've also personally had EMDR therapy for anxiety and grief. As a client, EMDR worked extremely well and also really fast (just a few sessions) on my problems. I just want to add that in my experience as an EMDR therapist and in my role as a facilitator who trains other therapists in EMDR (certified by the EMDR International Association and trained by the EMDR Institute, both of which I strongly recommend in an EMDR Level II therapist) I have used EMDR successfully with PTSD, anxiety issues, depression, grief, body image, phobias, panic attacks, distressing memories, and bad dreams. And probably more stuff that I can't remember at the moment. Other EMDR therapists are more proficient in using it for eating disorders, OCD, dissociative disorders, addictions, etc.

The grounding exercises you describe are terrifically helpful. You can also use some of the techniques in Dr. Shapiro's new book "Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR." Dr. Shapiro is the founder/creator of EMDR but all the proceeds from the book go to two charities: the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Program and the EMDR Research Foundation). Anyway, the book is terrific. It's an easy read, helps you understand what's "pushing" your feelings and behavior, helps you connect the dots from past experiences to current life. Also gives lots of really helpful ways that are used during EMDR therapy to calm disturbing thoughts and feelings.


The bottom line is that EMDR is a very gentle method with no "down-side" so that in the hands of a professional EMDR therapist, there should be no freak-outs or worsening of day-to-day functioning.

In fact, during EMDR you learn a lot of great coping strategies and self-soothing techniques which you can use during EMDR processing or anytime you feel the need. You learn how to access a “Safe or Calm Place” which you can use at ANY TIME during EMDR processing (or on your own) if it feels scary, or too emotional. One of the key assets of EMDR is that YOU, the client, are in control NOW, even though you probably weren’t in the past or during the bad events. You NEVER need re-live an experience or go into great detail, ever! You NEVER need to go through the entire memory. YOU can decide to keep the lights (or the alternating sounds and/or tactile pulsars, or the waving hand) going, or stop them, whichever helps titrate – measure and adjust the balance or “dose“ of the processing. During EMDR processing there are regular “breaks” and you can control when and how many but the therapist should be stopping the bilateral stimulation every 25-50 passes of the lights to ask you to take a deep breath and ask you to say just a bit of what you’re noticing. (The stimulation should not be kept on continuously, because there are specific procedures that need to be followed to process the memory). The breaks help keep a “foot in the present” while you’re processing the past. I'm going to make an assumption (likely unfair) that your therapist didn't have enough EMDR training, which would have created safety, installed resources, and made a clear plan of how to proceed without getting overwhelmed. Again, and I can’t say this enough, YOU ARE IN CHARGE so YOU can make the process tolerable. And your therapist should be experienced in the EMDR techniques that help make it the gentlest and safest way to detoxify bad life experiences and build resources.

There is a ton of great research now proving EMDR's efficacy and it is considered one of the threee treatments of choice for trauma by organizations such as ISTSS (International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation), American Psychiatric Association, American Psychological Association, the Department of Veteran Affairs, the Department of Defense, Departments of Health in Northern Ireland, UK, Israel, the Netherlands, France, and other countries and organizations. It is used all over the world.

I can't say enough good things about EMDR. It's changed my life both as a person/consumer, and as a therapist. It's so satisfying to have someone come in for help and then to witness them get through their issues and finish therapy relatively quickly (compared to regular talk therapy, it's like night and day). I am both humbled by and grateful for this wonderful method that heals suffering.

 

[maddog]

Awesome post pattijane, thanks so much for sharing your experience as both a consumer and therapist. I have recently begun EMDR and my T practices in much the way you describe. Already I am experiencing the amazing sense of feeling in control, learning to establish and to really utilise safe place imagery, learning to explore traumatic events without becoming distressingly lost in them, learning to unwravel and disrupt traumatic memory networks, experiencing the amazing effects of being able to alter memory images and make connections of previously fragmented memory material...

I confess I don't really understand how or why it works, and maybe nobody truly does. But I don't much care, because it *does* work, and it is a truly valuable tool... as long as it's used in the right way and in the hands of those who understand its power and potential and know how to use it.

There's definitely no silver bullet in trauma therapy, but I do believe there are flecks of silver in this EMDR bullet when it's fired properly.

Maddog

 

[RecoveringGirl]

Thanks it is great to hear Emdr worked for you. I have had several sessions and I thought I was going to end up in the hospital. Taking a break until after the holidays and going to give it another go. So kind of you to share hope!

It can be very hard! No doubt about that. Maybe it would be easier if you took it very very slowly. Don't give up!

Pattijane- I agree with you about learning positive coping. It allowed me to experience those emotions I had been avoiding because they were so scary, in a safe environment which taught me that I could handle them. I did feel the need to cover all the intense memories to stop them from haunting me, but maybe some people don't. My therapist was going on the EMDR research as the time, which I think was in its infancy; we both just figured out what worked best for me.

Thank you for the positive replies, I hope that I can encourage others to keep working even when you don't think you can do it anymore. You can!

 

[Sailorgal]

This is soooo great to hear Recoveringgirl!
I know healing is possible.

A couple questions on EDMR. What specific questions would you ask a potential Therapist other than how many years experience they have in this? Like number of clients treated with this, are there differences with equipment used? I find a lot of information day it works but is controversial so being cautious.

 

[Dissociation]

I also am doing EMDR.
For what I have understood, caution is mandatory as well as going slowly.
We are dealing with a brain whose neurotransmitters are (more o less) altered.
The brain is quite plastic but, to change the abnormal structure he has acquired with PTSD, it is needed some time.
Moreover, EMDR can be really effective, really powerful sometimes and an abrupt change in the brain may cause damage.

 

[RecoveringGirl]

Sailorgal I don't think that experience may be as important as you think. What matters is your personal connection with the therapist and that cannot be taught. It's important that they are someone you feel you can trust and who won't judge you. Maybe ask them about their approach and what they find effective, but I'd more ask them questions so you can get a feel for your connection than to check if their background is solid. My therapist did EMDR when it had just come out, so she wasn't formally trained in it I don't think. We both researched it and she adapted therapy to what worked best for me (which I really appreciated). Adaptation of therapy is important- we're individuals and therapy should be tailored. I also really needed someone I could find comfort and trust in, sort of a mother figure. Be patient, there's a good therapist out there for you :)

 

[Sailorgal]

Thanks RG! I in no way was downplaying the connection with your Therapist (T). It's great to learn about your experience. I agree, when you trust your T, he/she is going to work with you. :)