this is off track-because your example hit me in my chest when i'm already way off kilter. and not a real response to you. but people who say they'd never do this and never do that-you don't know what you would do. you don't know. and people who say they never would do anything? you don't f*cking know what you would do. and the fact that people say it? is a judgment to those of us who have.If someone believes they would never rape another person…
(and while i would argue that i deserve that judgment-that's entirely irrelevent, and most other people don't deserve it.)
this. and knowing, knowing that at the end of the day, your morals are actually meaningless. because who gives a shit what always/never you'd do? you did it. you can't make promises anymore. you can't deal in absolutes anymore. you know you can't. i can't say i'd never do anything, ever, ever again. because i know that i have done it. when the situetion was sufficiently pressurized.It’s not JUST something that happened to you, or something someone else did to you. It’s something you, yourself, chose.
when you are in the shit, morals? are meaningless. this whole high minded philosophical shit is a luxury. it's a f*cking luxury. and then what do you do? you have to enter society and be a person at some point. and even within ptsd circles you can't just-because you're the perpetrator. but part of these situations divorces you entirely from any aspect of being a person.
there's no analysis or philosophy or morals or reason. there is just nerve endings. breaths. heartbeats. that's it. sometimes not even that.