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About therapy

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Rey324

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I am again seeking therapy for my complex trauma. The trauma has caused other issues I battle daily such as pretty intense dissociation, eating disorder (anorexic), social anxiety and agoraphobia.

I am seeing a new therapist who is aware of all above. We have had 4 appt's all together. Last appt at the end she asked if I wanted to start processing the trauma and to bump up calorie intake some. My concern is this wouldn't that be too soon especially when I have no coping skills under my belt, the dissociation is bad I would be around the corner rather than in her ofc talking about it on how bad I shut down, and the eating disorder is active. I have no support system in place when I know times will get hard once I do start talking about the trauma. I just worry all this could destabilize me even more than I am now. I also worry maybe this therapist isnt trained enough in the trauma - even through most of them claim to be.
 
I agree on the "trained in trauma" part that they all seem to have. For example, I specialize in teaching clarinet. I play flute and sax and could probably do a good job teaching them, but not nearly as good as I do clarinet.

I would ask all of these things to your T.
 
I just worry all this could destabilize me even more than I am now.
You are right to be very concerned about that situation. If you're malnourished you're brain is going to be against all odds trying to even begin to process major trauma. If you're dissociative as well, your risk increases tremendously. It's quite dangerous actually and can cause so much more damage. Even medication doesn't work correctly when your brain is malnourished. Processing trauma following long term dissociation can have some very scary results. If you don't have coping skills or a support system and she's wanting you to process it is your therapist clueless about your Complex Trauma and eating disorders?

I also worry maybe this therapist isnt trained enough in the trauma - even through most of them claim to be.
I've had a psych therapist with a doctorate do a million times more damage and then my current therapist who doesn't have a doctorate, but pays attention to what I'm saying and has a better understanding of me than anyone else. If she doesn't understand something, she studies it so she does. But, she's smart enough to have learned quickly when I'm on overload and has earned my trust and thoroughly and repeatedly proven herself.

Trust your gut.
 
It just would make sense to kind of build things up so I would be stronger to handle the trauma. On my own I don't know how to stop dissociating and the eating disorder is the only thing I can control at this point and sadly my only friend. I feel like if I started talking about the trauma it would be equivalent to throwing me off a bridge. It sucks there is hardly any therapist that take Medicare in my area and are specialized in trauma. I can't afford two therapists to address both. I have thought outside the box video therapy but due to hippa laws it's nothing i could do from my home/or cell. It has to be done in a community health setting and that is not offered where I live. They said there isnt a need for it. Then the only therapist I found is 6 hrs by bus round trip thats really hard with the social anxiety and agoraphobia. I have no friends/family to ask to get me there. I have talked to county mental health and begged them for transportation help and they could not help either. They have a few trauma programs in the area but being I don't fit the criteria the trauma isn't recent, i'm not a 1st responder, I am not in the military - they have no other options to offer me but another closed door.
 
That is a really tough situation. It might be best to process other stuff and wait on the major trauma until you feel stronger. If you like your therapist and feel comfortable, can you tell her your concerns?
 
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