General After Effects From Counseling

[Sweetpea76]

Good point about the "combat driving" Dimples... my vet does that too. He is too busy "scanning" for IEDs to watch what he is doing. It will give you grey hair for sure.

 

[dimplesg520]

It is very stressful @Sweetpea76 ! I already have anxiety in the car, as I've been in two car accidents where I almost died, and few more after that. I am super stressed out in the car and then with his combat driving... Yikes. Luckily his therapist pointed it out to him (doesn't it seem like they usually listen to their therapists more than us, even if we say the same thing? lol) and realized he was doing it.. Now instead of saying he's driving too fast or to be careful, which sounds like nagging to him, I just say "you're combat driving" and he stops almost immediately without getting offended. It is so much worse when he is stressed though, so even just a small thing of me driving him to and from therapy eliminates a lot of stress!

@mamabuckeye , did he end up getting to go? How did it go?

 

[mamabuckeye]

Hey everyone. So we moved to Ohio, and are slowly getting settled. He found a psychologist he really liked in North Carolina but obviously couldn't continue to see her. We will start searching for a new one through the VA next week. Things are going alright. He no longer plays the xbox, but now it is a computer game. He has turned very spiteful.

**sidetracked vent, you are welcome to skip**
Our cable isn't turned on so I rented 2 movies, and he told me he couldn't watch a movie because he was playing the game (it one of the MMORP games). I go to lay down and go to bed, and my youngest crawls into bed. He comes in the room at 9 and says "where can I sleep?" and I said that I'd put the baby in his own bed, but hes like "forget about it" and continues to play his game until at least 4am. I put the baby into his bed (after he woke me up from screaming in his sleep at 4am) and tell him to come to bed. He comes to bed around 5am. We have to be at the furniture store to pay for our custom order at 10am and he asks me if I'll go without him. UGH. He played that game for 14 hours! We just had a new kitchen table delivered and ruined one seat cushion already because he sat in it all day. I am at my wits end with this. He says he wants to change, but doesn't do anything. We bought new running/walking shoes and workout clothes so we can get active and lose weight. I have started walking. He says he wants to change after seeing himself in a reflection, but still overeats.
**vent over**

At our old home, he would stay upstairs and do his thing, but now he plays this game in the kitchen or in our bedroom (we no longer have an upstairs since we downsized to a 700 sq place). I am going to seek help as well so I can have someone to vent to and unload my frustrations. Trying to keep my patience in check knowing that this is a new environment and way of life (becoming a student not a soldier anymore) so he is still overwhelmed. He was recently turned down by a program for a service dog, so he is still dealing with that. He refused to mention how he plays so many hours of video games as a way to cope, and I think they thought he was very "high functioning."

We have a long road ahead of us, but at least there are outlets available for me so I don't have to do this on my own. I'm finding my voice and standing up for myself more than I have in the past.

 

[ARH10]

Hey mama! Welcome to Ohio ;) it's not so bad I promise.

My sufferer has had a really hard time finding someone he likes at the Columbus VA. Also being a student treatment is hard during classes. As you have said it takes a lot out of you and can be hard to refocus on school. In hoping summer break gives is time to work on that.

Keep finding your voice, you can do this.

 

[Deleted member 25222]

My husband is doing EMDR therapy for his PTSD and I know after his sessions he's exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally. I just give him space and we have a rhythm about us, but if he wants to share he does, usually does later in the evening. It usually takes him 2-3 days to start feeling better and then it starts all over next week. We usually plan a lazy night that night and a simple dinner.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Welcome to the Buckeye State!

 

[mamabuckeye]

Thanks all for the replies. Things are going pretty well. I am able to start deciphering his triggers. He made a break through at the psychologist the other day and realized that he has no patience with me or the kids and finally admitted it. I am so happy. He was in denial for a while and that makes a huge difference in him finally seeing how he can be. Life in Ohio is so much better. I don't know what is the main reason, but I'm willing to bet money that he doesn't have to answer to the Army anymore. Haha. We went to the Color Run last weekend and he did awesome. I was preparing myself for him to back out at the last minute, but he didn't. I was so proud of him, and made sure to tell him.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

I had T abuse BUT have gone to therapy several times despite what I went through. Right now, I cannot. I don't know why but I can't do it.