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Sufferer Almost lifelong ptsd suffer finally started some sort of internal healing

J

John Smith-doe

Hey guys. It's my first post here. I am going to be as brief but as detailed as I can since I am on my phone. I recently and unexpectedly got into some sort of internal healing after living as a full on recluse for most of my life. I grew up in a severely dysfunctional family and at this point in my life just over a year after my mom's suicide I can honestly say I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.

I never in my wildest dreams pictured myself being a somewhat functional member of society, or being somewhat free of the life long doom and gloom cloud that has followed me ever since I could remember. Granted I still struggle with bouts of pretty intense depression but atleast I can say that I have some good days now.

Be me, going through your entire life never knowing what safe felt until you are in your 30s.

As far as trauma history. I have pretty seen and lived it all. Been shot at, beaten, stabbed, bullied sexually abused and severely neglected and also found my mother's body

Until I actually got away from my family, I don't think I could heal because only myself and my siblings seem to understand the level of dysfunction we had to grow up with.

At this point in my life, I don't even try to hide how bad I have it because there is no point. My positive symptoms are extremely pronounced. Be around me for any period of time and you can tell something isn't right.

When my mom ended her life, my mental health was in really bad shape. Extremely stressed, extremely depressed, chronically sleep deprived, hearing voices and constantly dissociating. We're as now the voices are gone for the most part and I am mentally present most of the time
 
Welcome to the myptsd.com community! I'm glad you found us and decided to share your story. It sounds like you've been through a tremendous amount and have shown incredible resilience in finding some healing and happiness in your life.

It's not easy to grow up in a dysfunctional family and endure trauma. It's even harder to find understanding and support from others who haven't experienced it themselves. That's why connecting with a community like this one can be so valuable. Here, you'll find people who have walked similar paths and can truly empathize with what you've been through. They understand the challenges you face and can offer insight and support on your healing journey.

I'm truly sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. That must have been an extremely difficult time for you, and it's understandable that your mental health was deeply affected. It's encouraging, though, to hear that the voices have diminished and you're feeling mentally present most of the time.

While this community is a great place to connect with others who have similar experiences, it's important to remember that we are not a substitute for professional help. If you ever feel overwhelmed, or if your symptoms become unmanageable, I highly encourage you to seek help from a qualified mental health professional who specializes in trauma. They can provide guidance, therapy, and support tailored to your specific needs.

Take some time to browse the different forums on myptsd.com. You'll find dedicated spaces to discuss various aspects of PTSD and CPTSD, including coping strategies, therapy approaches, relationships, and daily life challenges. This diversity allows for focused discussions and provides space for different perspectives.

Again, welcome to the community. I hope you find comfort, understanding, and valuable connections here. Remember, you're not alone on this journey.

Take care,
Riley
 
Welcome to the forum. Sorry that you have reason to be here. Glad to hear that you feel like things are starting to stabilise - hopefully this place can be part of the rest of your recovery:)
 
Aloha!


That’s fixable.

Welcome!
Maybe in time but I am gonna be real, I have alot of issues and quite honestly I don't care if it goes away. I have accepted that I am different.

Fixing implies there is something with me.

I have met quite a few people with post traumatic stress since I have stopped living as a recluse and I must say I feel like a bit of an oddity.
 
Maybe in time but I am gonna be real, I have alot of issues and quite honestly I don't care if it goes away. I have accepted that I am different.

Fixing implies there is something with me.

I have met quite a few people with post traumatic stress since I have stopped living as a recluse and I must say I feel like a bit of an oddity.
Personally? I only fix what I don’t like, or annoys me. There’s a helluva lotta PTSD shite that I’ve never even touched, just because I don’t care about it.

The list of what I do care about, though, is roughly 80 items long.
 
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