Alternative Dictionary Of Therapy (humor)

[Deleted member 29920]

Mindfulness - attempting to forget everything that happened to you by thinking only of the present moment

 

[Ronin]

Focusing - thing to tell everyone you're doing when you're doing jack shit and want to be left alone

 

[Ronin]

Meditation - zoning out hard but we know a thing about buddhism

 

[Ellabella44]

Narcissism - that disorder everyone on myPTSD's mother suffers from

Gasp! are we all related?

Insomnia - an evil witch who allows you to have more " time for you" when you least want it.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Third ear - therapists need this because sometimes their usual two ears just don't work at all

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Terminating treatment - when your therapist likes to pretend they're Arnold schwarzenegger

 

[Ocean5]

- When they realize you are not an easy case - "Next patient! I need more easy money."

- Feeling like that old doctor game with Tweezers that made noises when you touched wrong spots. And T keeps touching wrong stops. (If I say I don't want to talk about something - listen to me. Are you trying to cause more dissociation?)

 

[void]

Therapeutic Use of Self(a real term, I sh*t you not:laugh:) really means

~~I sit in my chair for EXACTLY 50 min(cuz I need a coffee break EVERY single hour of my day!:coffee::coffee::coffee:) and I say "and how did that make you feel?" -or- "and what was that like for you to hear that from her/him?" until the clock (that I've carefully positioned so you the client can't see it) shows that "We'll have to leave it there."

:p:p:p:laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

[void]

Complicated Bereavement - "Researcher O’Connor and colleagues (link is external) searching for the neurological basis of grieving found that the intense yearning of complicated grievers brings them as much pleasure and reward as it does pain."
"...complicated grievers (CG) keep the yearning process alive through their habits."
"
Its symptoms can include:

• Extreme focus on the loss and reminders of the loved one
• Intense longing or pining for the deceased
• Problems accepting the death
• Numbness or detachment
• Preoccupation with your sorrow
• Bitterness about your loss
• Inability to enjoy life
• Link Removed or deep sadness
• Trouble carrying out normal routine
• Feeling that life holds no meaning or purpose
• Irritability or agitation
• Lack of trust in others"
• 
  
• "for at least one month after six months of bereavement"

 

[void]

cont....

So you got that people!
You've got 6 months to get over it otherwise your mind is disordered.

or is the diagnostic category to create a justification for billing the insurance companies????

oops, this is supposed to be humorous isn't it:x3: sry

 

[Ocean5]

clock (that I've carefully positioned so you the client can't see it)

I noticed that with my old p-doc/therapist. She had it hidden discretely between me and her behind a plant. And I don't wear a watch. I remember every visit asking if I had more time. How quickly 45 minutes goes by when you dissociate.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

preoccupied /entangled : when your therapist forgets to brush their hair before coming to work