chevy_diesel_girl01
New Here
Hi all,
I felt the need to come back and fill everyone in on the last month or so. My husband's PTSD seems to be acting up more lately. The week or so leading up to Christmas, he as having nightmares every night, he would thrash around and nearly hit me in his sleep. It would wake me up three or more times a night, but he didn''t remember any of it. when I would tell him the next day, he'd just laugh about it. But then he's been sleeping with his dog tags since then, and that seems to help but he still is having a nightmare or two a week. Needless to say I have been sleeping very lightly lately, because he gets so violent when he thrashes around aand rolls over, he'll kick and swing his fists and it happens without warning. Any advice on how to deal with them?
The biggest concern that I have had, however, is what happened at his work a couple of weeks ago. I think I have mentioned that he is a corrections officer at a private prison. He loves the job and I think him being constantly busy has helped a little bit, but he gets very argumentative ith the inmates and writes them up over anything. That doesn't concern as much as the incident that occured earlier this month. He was coming to assist a new corrections officer who as being surrounded by several inmates.
I guess one of them mouthed off to my husband and took a sing at him. My husband pushed him away and into a wall and broke the guy's nose. A second inmate rushed up to my husband out of the corner of his eye and my husband grabbed hi by the throat. No, he's been througha ll of the pressure point training for this job and knows better, but I guess he had a grip on this guy and he as turning blue. It took another officer (who happens to have PTSD) to coax my husband down. My husband finally let go of the guy. Luckily they decided against pressing assault charges on him, mainly due ot the video evidence against them.
I was terrified for two days because they have fired people for way less than this. But when my husband went back in the next day, they just said he'd be kept away from then and there would be no consequences. However, I think he is lying to me. Sonce then he has only had two days of overtime, when he normally works two double shifts a week. I think they won't let him have any overtime. He is supposed to only be working on one floor now, which I don't know if that's their punishment or, as he told me, a good thing.
The day this happened, he called me from work and asked for my therapist's number, because, in his words, "there's a guy here with PTSD who is looking for a new therapist and I said I'd get him your guys number". I told him he could bring a business card in the next day but he wanted it right then. I suspect his work took down the number so they could make sure he got treated. We had just agreed earlier that week for him to try at least one session, I pretty much said I didn't want to be pregnant again and dealing with all of this because I don't need the extra stress. He still says he will go, I am just waiting for us to get our insurance cards.
What pissed me off, more than I would have been if he'd have gotten in trouble and seen a consequence of his behavior, is that him and the guy who talked him down are now considered the "pit bulls", and his supervisor calls them down to take care of the really troubled inmates. it's like a reward for his behavior and he has been telling everyone about it! He's proud of it! It is driving me nuts. He had been crying that night before he got home from work, I could tell. but now he is braagging about his PTSD to everyone, when three weeks ago he ouldn't even admit that he might have it. He doesn't think he needs the therapist now because he "needs this attitude for his job", but he said he'd try it for me.
He has been getting really snippy again lately, and the other dog hen his dog got in trouble, he pcked him up and threw him across the living room, but later told me that he didn't even know he had done it, in his mind he picked up the dog and put him down gently. Then he said he didn't remember grabbing the guy by the throat, in his head he just pushed him away. I told him I was scared he'd do the same thing to me, and he did say he was scared of that.
As if all of this isn't enough, lately I have been having bad flashbacks to when I was sexually assaulted. Whenever we try to get intimate, i feel a wave of nausea and I jsut freeze up. I hate telling him that anymore because then he thinks I just don't want any so he quit trying. So I have just been trying to block everything out of my mind and it's making things really difficult for me. He feels guilty if I tell him he did something to set off the flashback but he gets mad if I don't tell him. When I do, he just says "ok we'll stop then and we won't try again until you're ready." He refuses to try to work through it with me, and we have gone nearly a month without being intimate, he says he is fine with it but I am not. We haven't been married for barely two years, we should have more of an active private life. I think between his PTSD and my flashbacks, it's jsut difficult. We have good days and bad ones, but hopefully when I at least get back to therapist things will be better.
Anyway that's just an update on everything going on in our lives. If anyone has any advice on what I mentioned I'd love to hear it. I've been so depressed and frustrated lately and I've been scared for my husband, I worry not just about him losing his job but ending up in jail or at least on trial for assault. He has agreed to go to the therapist so hopefully that'll be a step in the right direction. Well I am going to go, I feel better after venting a bit, thanks everyone for being here!
Jessica
I felt the need to come back and fill everyone in on the last month or so. My husband's PTSD seems to be acting up more lately. The week or so leading up to Christmas, he as having nightmares every night, he would thrash around and nearly hit me in his sleep. It would wake me up three or more times a night, but he didn''t remember any of it. when I would tell him the next day, he'd just laugh about it. But then he's been sleeping with his dog tags since then, and that seems to help but he still is having a nightmare or two a week. Needless to say I have been sleeping very lightly lately, because he gets so violent when he thrashes around aand rolls over, he'll kick and swing his fists and it happens without warning. Any advice on how to deal with them?
The biggest concern that I have had, however, is what happened at his work a couple of weeks ago. I think I have mentioned that he is a corrections officer at a private prison. He loves the job and I think him being constantly busy has helped a little bit, but he gets very argumentative ith the inmates and writes them up over anything. That doesn't concern as much as the incident that occured earlier this month. He was coming to assist a new corrections officer who as being surrounded by several inmates.
I guess one of them mouthed off to my husband and took a sing at him. My husband pushed him away and into a wall and broke the guy's nose. A second inmate rushed up to my husband out of the corner of his eye and my husband grabbed hi by the throat. No, he's been througha ll of the pressure point training for this job and knows better, but I guess he had a grip on this guy and he as turning blue. It took another officer (who happens to have PTSD) to coax my husband down. My husband finally let go of the guy. Luckily they decided against pressing assault charges on him, mainly due ot the video evidence against them.
I was terrified for two days because they have fired people for way less than this. But when my husband went back in the next day, they just said he'd be kept away from then and there would be no consequences. However, I think he is lying to me. Sonce then he has only had two days of overtime, when he normally works two double shifts a week. I think they won't let him have any overtime. He is supposed to only be working on one floor now, which I don't know if that's their punishment or, as he told me, a good thing.
The day this happened, he called me from work and asked for my therapist's number, because, in his words, "there's a guy here with PTSD who is looking for a new therapist and I said I'd get him your guys number". I told him he could bring a business card in the next day but he wanted it right then. I suspect his work took down the number so they could make sure he got treated. We had just agreed earlier that week for him to try at least one session, I pretty much said I didn't want to be pregnant again and dealing with all of this because I don't need the extra stress. He still says he will go, I am just waiting for us to get our insurance cards.
What pissed me off, more than I would have been if he'd have gotten in trouble and seen a consequence of his behavior, is that him and the guy who talked him down are now considered the "pit bulls", and his supervisor calls them down to take care of the really troubled inmates. it's like a reward for his behavior and he has been telling everyone about it! He's proud of it! It is driving me nuts. He had been crying that night before he got home from work, I could tell. but now he is braagging about his PTSD to everyone, when three weeks ago he ouldn't even admit that he might have it. He doesn't think he needs the therapist now because he "needs this attitude for his job", but he said he'd try it for me.
He has been getting really snippy again lately, and the other dog hen his dog got in trouble, he pcked him up and threw him across the living room, but later told me that he didn't even know he had done it, in his mind he picked up the dog and put him down gently. Then he said he didn't remember grabbing the guy by the throat, in his head he just pushed him away. I told him I was scared he'd do the same thing to me, and he did say he was scared of that.
As if all of this isn't enough, lately I have been having bad flashbacks to when I was sexually assaulted. Whenever we try to get intimate, i feel a wave of nausea and I jsut freeze up. I hate telling him that anymore because then he thinks I just don't want any so he quit trying. So I have just been trying to block everything out of my mind and it's making things really difficult for me. He feels guilty if I tell him he did something to set off the flashback but he gets mad if I don't tell him. When I do, he just says "ok we'll stop then and we won't try again until you're ready." He refuses to try to work through it with me, and we have gone nearly a month without being intimate, he says he is fine with it but I am not. We haven't been married for barely two years, we should have more of an active private life. I think between his PTSD and my flashbacks, it's jsut difficult. We have good days and bad ones, but hopefully when I at least get back to therapist things will be better.
Anyway that's just an update on everything going on in our lives. If anyone has any advice on what I mentioned I'd love to hear it. I've been so depressed and frustrated lately and I've been scared for my husband, I worry not just about him losing his job but ending up in jail or at least on trial for assault. He has agreed to go to the therapist so hopefully that'll be a step in the right direction. Well I am going to go, I feel better after venting a bit, thanks everyone for being here!
Jessica
