Other Anhedonia/numbness

[Marianne]

Does anyone have anhedonia? My most difficult to deal with symptom is anhedonia. I don't feel joy, love, pleasure, connection, spirituality. This started after taking and withdrawing from meds.

I scares my a great deal. I feel guilty all the time, for the bad choices that led to my trauma and anhedonia, for not being able to love my son, my family, God anymore. I feel like I have lost my soul, the core of my being. I have always believed that love is what makes people go to heaven...so this is another fear - what if I die without being able to love?

Does anyone have this, and how do they deal with it?

 

[joeylittle]

Does anyone have anhedonia? My most difficult to deal with symptom is anhedonia. I don't feel joy, love, pleasure, connection, spirituality.

I do. It's been interesting to deal with. I didn't realize what 'happy' was until after I first got onto medication - I started to be able to feel things, and enjoy things. But after my second major depressive episode, and becoming treatment-resistant, its all leached away again. Right now, I'd say it's at a strong level, and has been for quite awhile.

I don't have any great advice. It's hard. I find that there are aspects of DBT that help me remember that it hasn't always been like this, and maybe it won't always be like this. Also, my therapist suggested that I write down three things I could be grateful for, at the end of every day. They usually aren't very big things, but it does help me to recognize them. There's some science behind gratitude and how it contributes to mental health.

Guided meditation (I like Jon Kabat-Zinn) is also something that can keep me connected to the world around me, a little.