SeanCharles
Diamond Member
This post occurred in 1989 when a past that in childhood had been buried until my subconscious decided that I needed a rather rude and painful wake up call through manipulation...
In 1988, I managed to get a young puppy! This was before the ADA (American's with Disabilities was in place) Reflecting back at the time...
Raising a puppy had proved extremely difficult. This pup was a Rottie/Shepard mix and I had named her Princess as I felt that she was to be "My little princess".
To those of us in the United States, you probably recognize the name Adam Walsh. In 1989 another name, two actually, were made famous when first the younger brother shares his story with the world.
He was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. The name here is Steven Stayner. His older brother's story is a tragic one and I am not going into that story.
Where I am going here is the television mini-series titled "I know my first name is Steven".
I suspect that I've touched on this before in my diary mainly, but since I am nearing the anniversary of my Pandora's box discovery after uncovering this well hidden box which triggered my first ever serious dissociation episode ever, after watching the second half of the two part series on television I had received the rudest and painful wake up call I had ever experienced when I had prior disassociation episodes not quite like this before this one.
What happened next at the conclusion of that television movie was a secretly planned murder/suicide which appeared to be planned by me, idealized by me and would have been successful if an intervention by me had not stopped what I had begun as a taking the now grown puppy dog for a walk.
We had walked down to a famous park which is/was not far from the apartment.
the park used to have a dock on the river below. At first the dog and I were on the dock. The intervention came when I was consciously holding the dog's leash while the dog had been placed into the river tethered by her long training leash, about 25 feet long if I remember correctly wondering to myself :wtf: is going on?
The dog was apparently in the river and I was tightly grasping the leash all the while curious why she was placed in the water and carefully pulled her to back to me while I was still on the dock so I could lift her out of the river.
At some point I had a mental image of what was supposed to happen.
We walked home without further incident and I knew at this point that I was in bad shape. At this point too, I had been applied for Supplemental Security Income and state benefits which I had appealed the initial denial decision and possibly a second before I had been seen by a specialist who had evaluated me and at that time had found no personality abnormalities in their report that gave me the status of disabled before the age of 21 and I was then found eligible for benefits.
In 1988, I managed to get a young puppy! This was before the ADA (American's with Disabilities was in place) Reflecting back at the time...
Raising a puppy had proved extremely difficult. This pup was a Rottie/Shepard mix and I had named her Princess as I felt that she was to be "My little princess".
To those of us in the United States, you probably recognize the name Adam Walsh. In 1989 another name, two actually, were made famous when first the younger brother shares his story with the world.
He was tragically killed in a motorcycle accident. The name here is Steven Stayner. His older brother's story is a tragic one and I am not going into that story.
Where I am going here is the television mini-series titled "I know my first name is Steven".
I suspect that I've touched on this before in my diary mainly, but since I am nearing the anniversary of my Pandora's box discovery after uncovering this well hidden box which triggered my first ever serious dissociation episode ever, after watching the second half of the two part series on television I had received the rudest and painful wake up call I had ever experienced when I had prior disassociation episodes not quite like this before this one.
What happened next at the conclusion of that television movie was a secretly planned murder/suicide which appeared to be planned by me, idealized by me and would have been successful if an intervention by me had not stopped what I had begun as a taking the now grown puppy dog for a walk.
We had walked down to a famous park which is/was not far from the apartment.
the park used to have a dock on the river below. At first the dog and I were on the dock. The intervention came when I was consciously holding the dog's leash while the dog had been placed into the river tethered by her long training leash, about 25 feet long if I remember correctly wondering to myself :wtf: is going on?
The dog was apparently in the river and I was tightly grasping the leash all the while curious why she was placed in the water and carefully pulled her to back to me while I was still on the dock so I could lift her out of the river.
At some point I had a mental image of what was supposed to happen.
We walked home without further incident and I knew at this point that I was in bad shape. At this point too, I had been applied for Supplemental Security Income and state benefits which I had appealed the initial denial decision and possibly a second before I had been seen by a specialist who had evaluated me and at that time had found no personality abnormalities in their report that gave me the status of disabled before the age of 21 and I was then found eligible for benefits.
