Anyone Else Losing Facebook Friends Like Money At The Casino?

[Ka-9]

I knew I was rather f*cked up..... But watching 100 or so facebook friends disappear miiight hint at a wee antisocial behavior.

When people don't comment on 5 shot cops in 30 some hours, but post rants on the state of Kayne....or the f*cking election yet again...in Canada....I cannot control myself. I realized I've only avoided real life social problems by mostly talking to horses and dogs.....and chickens.

Is anyone doing "therapy" specific stuff for anti social behaviour? for that matter is anyone else having severe problem with the general population? I'd appreciate advice before I'm living in a cave.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is anyone doing "therapy" specific stuff for anti social behaviour? for that matter is anyone else having severe problem with the general population? I'd appreciate advice before I'm living in a cave.

I am extremely anti social and my therapist's efforts to get me out failed. Until someone here came up with the idea of training my dog to be a service dog. That I am fully focused on and to train him to be calm and collected atound the public means i also have to be in the public around people. But having him with me helps a TON. My therapist today says he sees a difference already just a week into training.

I am not suggesting to get a service dog. Though if you can that helps so many people with PTSD in many ways.

But exposure therapy is amazing. So start small. Somewhere maybe outside that has a few people and work your way up.

Also an art class or a craft class or something like that. Volunteer work. All of it helps as you are focused on something else and not the people but the being around people helps to desensitize yourself.

 

[Ka-9]

I am extremely anti social and my therapist's efforts to get me out failed. Until someone he...

Thanks much!

 

[Friday]

Horses & dogs are good people.

That said, in short, yes.

Although first, I had to pretty much go live in a cave for awhile. Pretty much, because it was actually a beach... But really. We're talking up to about 4 days walk to the nearest people. And then I had to spend a significant amount of time seriously f*cked up in order to tolerate being around people whatsoever.

The thing is, I tend to either care way the hell too much, or not at all. I have very little in the way of middle ground surrounding people (and many other things). So it took years to work out some kind of balance where I could be around people, period. During that time period I pretty much shuffled round-robin between total isolation, partial isolation, & total immersion.

It wasn't intentional exposure therapy. It was just luck. And little things. I'd be doing my level best to stay the f*ck away, but someone or something would always end up dragging my ass back in. Until I finally made peace with the fact that I might not need people, but I want them. Sooner or later. Eventually, in any event.

Forming connections with people is... Hard. In most ways. First I have to allow it. Then I have to not actively sabotage it. I fight myself a lot. Generally, the more I actually want to allow the connection, the harder it is. I get weird when I start giving a damn about someone.

Shrug. Anyhow. It's an ongoing process. One I'm not very good at.

 

[Deleted member 541]

When I was drinking and partying.... I had tons of friends. Not so much anymore. It's not that I dislike people, or have trust issues. I'm just a homebody, I don't like to go out anymore, I'm to freaking old, and there isn't anything to do where I live that would interest me to go to meet people anyway...

Facebook, to me is just a bunch of narcissistic people trying to out do the other. I have an account, no friends and I never go on it either. I just find people on it shallow.

It's hard with PTSD too, because of so many issues that we have to make friends, but it can be done if you make the effort....

 

[shimmerz]

for that matter is anyone else having severe problem with the general population?

Idk, I have found what is important to me these days has nothing to do with what other people enjoy.
It is a really difficult thing whilst I am attempting to integrate socially. I just can't really care or relate to what other people do.
I need to figure this out. Trauma can be aggravated by lack of connection. Feels like a bit of a looping situation.

I have longed for a cave or an island since this whole PTSD thing started with me.

 

[Killashandra]

Hi,

Just quickly, about Facebook. .. are these people you have lost, real friends or just acquaintances? if they are acquaintances then really who cares, they are just junk filling up your life with more drama and BS, sorry if this doesn't apply, it's just my thoughts on Facebook popularity.. I have 32 friends.. I took the time to delete all acquaintances and work colleagues as a believe facebook is for free expression and to strengthen the bonds of friendship with those you have already developed one with. I couldn't be free to express myself without judgement from my peers. . if I want to share a mental health post I don't want my employers to know how poorly I am doing in my personal life.. that's just my opinion..

As for anti social behaviour.. I do in fact live in a cave becasue I have developed GAD after too much pressure from the outside world.
I fear public places and people and noise and traffic..I can't trust anyone whom I come across. . I look for escape routes before going into any establishment.

I have been working with my Dr and my therapist on small exposure exercises, trips to the library and standing in one without freaking out.. I usually cuddle whatever it is I have in my hands until my hands are white from the grip I have.. not to mention shaking..
Larger exposure for me is going into the supermarket, which is very hard for me.. and I haven't even tried to go toward the city yet.. that sends me into an attack just thinking about it.

Last night I went to a social gathering and the effort it took wiped me out completely.

My Dr and therapist have asked me to try CBT when out.. Reminding myself that I am not in danger.. and working down the flow chart to determine my safety.

I don't know if this helps or whatever.. I have had a migraine since last night due to the effort it took and I've had pain killers.. strong ones so I fear I may be a little out of it. ,

But all the best, just don't push yourself to be social.. and remember you can say NO. to requests.

Killa

 

[Ka-9]

When I was drinking and partying.... I had tons of friends. Not so much anymore. It's not that I disli...

Lol...that's probably half of it..... Everyone posts mugged up Zoolander shots and everyone else posts," looking hot, wow, thanks ladies!" Etc.

I could ignore the mundane if people who have been relatively sheltered wouldn't rattle on with their suburban expertise on social issues.

 

[Friday]

<grin> I've always loved Facebook. But then, I also always loved the Christmas Letters to friends and family that FB has replaced. I've never quite understood people getting upset at the good news & joys -trials & tragedies- that people share. The public information we share with the world, want shared with the world, has thousands of years of history behind it. Whether published in the Society Section, or shared at the pub, or heralded on the streets, or sent in long missives once a year to distant relations... There is a sameness all over the world to what we tell 'everyone'.

It may be because I had to quit using FB a few years back due to stalking issues, so only go read through people's pages once or twice a year, that I see FB as a modern Xmas Letter. It may be that the people I've counted as friends tend towards being low on the drama quotient. Regardless, it's nice to be able to log on every once in awhile and see that -at least some of- the people I've known and cared for are still living, breathing, and up to their usual tricks. T is still a rake, burning through lovers. A is eyeballs deep in family. R is still daring mountains to kill them. O is cleaved to god. M is crusading against every little wrong on the world. There's a peace to it. People. Doing their thing. Living. Breathing. Chasing life. Okay. Now back to my own.

 

[Ka-9]

<grin> I've always loved Facebook. But then, I also always loved the Christmas Letters to friends and fa...

Man.... I never even thought of the extra creepy factor for girls having stalkers on there.

I realize if I post a pic of the dogs, goats and horses it's all smiles, and if I post anything Trump related all hell breaks loose. I guess it's the latest opiate of the masses.

 

[Nessa7]

Have you thought about joining a forum or comment section that is specifically intended to discuss social issues and the news? Everyone has a different reason for being on Facebook. It's possible that the people that you're friends with don't care about issues, but they also might do that kind of socializing somewhere else. I'm more politically active than the average person, but I never talk about anything political on Facebook. If you have a social need that isn't being fulfilled, it might be better to find somewhere that will fill that need rather than trying to shape your corner of a massive social network to fill it.

 

[Silver.]

I have social anxiety, so I should embrace fb, but the thing with social media for me, is it isn't a good platform for a lot of things.

people's need to share all their food? really? who cares. if they added a recipe? maybe
politics? arguing is going to change no one's mind and it just causes a whole lot of upset
people that live together constantly tagging each other while the other is sitting 2 feet away from on the couch? what are they trying to prove to the world?
people like to show off their kids, a new house or house upgrades, funny pics, cute vids, sure, that's the "christmas card effect" that I sense Friday is talking about, it's nice. The phone or sit downs are pretty good for the rest. (well maybe not the phone, I am not big on talking on the phone hah)
For me, all social media has done is give people the guts to be bullies anonymously and helped disconnect people further from true socialization.