Applying to school after being kicked out for ptsd symptoms

[anonymous]

I am a regular poster. I need to post this anonymously for a variety of reasons, please bear with me.

I am applying to go back to school. So many people in my life are annoyed with me that I have dragged my feet about finishing my degree…. I want to finish my degree, and go on to grad school. So badly.

The problem is that I was dismissed from my old school, just shy of graduation. I’ve been told if the decision was on grades alone, I’d be guaranteed admission at any school in the region.

What happened? I blew a whistle (without trying) and then trauma happened. Under the weight of the investigation, and then the stress of dealing with the trauma and resulting PTSD, I fell apart.

How did I fall apart? I am very ashamed about what went wrong. I can't seem to find the words at the moment. No, I was not violent or accused of any violence.

It’s been over a decade since this all happened. I’ve gotten the help I needed, and I have letters from several doctors verifying there is no reason to consider me a risk more than any other student, please admit me, they are as sure as one can be that I will do well....

I now teach a class for a non-profit on a university campus. It's gone fine for years.

But every time I read the University's dismissal letter, I can’t think of why any school would want to admit me. They made me out to be a monster. How do I write them a letter addressing what happened and how I'm not a monster anymore? I'm so ashamed but I have to get past this. I'm going to fail but then at least I can say I tried. I don't even know what a new school would want to know. They say just explain everything possible. That would be a novel...

Any thoughts?

 

[CT_Girl]

10 years is a pretty long time ago, the University may not care about any incident that happened so long ago. If you write a letter I would just keep it short and to the point. You made some mistakes in the past but got help. Also is there any reason why you have to apply to the same University? Maybe apply to some different ones?

 

[Nessa7]

Are you applying to your old school or trying to get transfer credits? Do you have a criminal record from this experience? I'm not sure why or how much you would need to disclose when applying to schools.

 

[aworldapart]

First off, if you don't need the dismissal letter for records, shred it. Maybe consider writing a response letter, even if you don't send it to the university, if for no other reason than to help you process how you have changed and what stresses you were under.

As far as addressing the issue with new schools, explain the most important parts of what happened and then focus on all of your progress since then! They are likely to respond well to hearing what you have learned in the meantime and what your goals are moving forward.

 

[Lily D.]

I agree with the above poster. I don't know how much of what is happened is relevant for them to know but I would think that out of privacy issues you probably don't have to disclose every detail of your treatment or your issues. Your letters from the doctors should be enough "proof" for them that you are fit to be admitted again.

If you do want to add your voice and send them a letter, I'd make the focus of the letter about what motivates you to go back there and what you have to offer (as a result of the trauma or not, whatever you feel comfortable telling them). I agree with the above poster too that for yourself, writing out the story may be helpful.

Good luck and lots of good vibes to you!

 

[Suzetig]

It's been 10 years, it's reasonable to assume you've changed in that time. I'd just call them asking how you go about finishing your degree. I wouldn't mention your dismissal or the circumstances around it just ask if you can finish. If they bring it up ask to meet with them - 10 years is a long time, while they might still have a copy of your dismissal letter they'll know it's not likely to reflect the person you are now.