Are No Relationships Good?

[Sarah542]

Currently I have no friends and no relationship. My doctor told me I was dangerous to be around. He also said I used people subconsciously and I don't want to use people. I am currently speaking to a guy at the minute , should I get involved? I have no idea if I'm still dangerous or if I would use people. I also think that if i'm not involved with anyone including friends I cant hurt them. Any advice?

 

[scout86]

Your doctor saying you were "dangerous to be around" sounds a bit odd. Do you know what he meant by that? In what way did he mean that you were "dangerous"?

 

[digger]

In what context did your doctor say you were dangerous to be around?

 

[Sarah542]

Cant remember when he said it, was a while ago, it just stuck in my head, think it was when I used people for sex without knowing?

 

[digger]

Are you still seeing this doctor? Are you in therapy at the moment?

If you're still seeing this doctor, I think it would be good to have a conversation about this. It's hard without knowing more of the situation, but I do know that sometimes, my therapist will be saying one thing, but I will hear something else. Not literally, but I might read more into her words than she is actually saying, or add meaning to things that she didn't put there. I interpret things the wrong way at times, but I'm aware that I do it, so I'm generally pretty careful at checking whether that's what I'm doing or not.

If you're not seeing that doctor any more, have the conversation with your current doctor. Unless you are in inpatient treatment at the moment, or highly supervised, I can't imagine they are considering you to be a danger to other people.

Did he say in what way he considered you to be dangerous?

 

[Sarah542]

yes every 2 months, no therapy, we are just talking if that makes sense? He doesnt want to see me until 5th November. I know thats what he said I just dont know when he said it. Or if im reading too much into it. Dangerous as in using people fir sex because I did that, i never meant to

 

[Tanishq]

Sounds like someone instilled a thought in your brain, like use people for sex. Did someone brainwash you or something like that? Just wondering because sometimes such brainwashes can damage people's mentality and make them behave bad even if they don't want. Trying to understand a reason behind this.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I suppose if you were really using them for sex, although not on purpose, it would be best not to repeat that again.
But yeah the wording used by your doc seems a bit silly, especially since you weren't doing it consciously, as you say.

Maybe you can ask yourself. How did you use to stand in your life, how did you use to behave, when you had these relationships? How are you standing in your life now? Do you think you'd repeat this behavior...?

More questions, how come you used to do that? Is the underlying issue solved?

Uh... since he doesn't want to see you until November (why not, I wonder), it couldn't hurt to brainstorm about it a bit. You will always be the one that has the most insight in yourself, if you try.

 

[digger]

yes every 2 months, no therapy,

Is this a psychiatrist or your GP? Every two months sounds like a big gap to me - do you feel you are getting enough support from that?

Dangerous as in using people fir sex because I did that, i never meant to

Do you feel that's what you were doing, or is that your doctor's opinion of what you were doing? Assuming you are in agreement of his assessment, have you dealt with the issues that led you to do that? Do you still feel that you would be vulnerable to that sort of behaviour - in my opinion, using people for sex doesn't only hurt them, it's harmful to you too? If you feel that you've got past those issues and are ready to try relationships again, then go for it. If you don't feel you've got past those issues, then I would find a way of working on them first and stick to friendship for now.

 

[joeylittle]

My doctor told me I was dangerous to be around. He also said I used people subconsciously and I don't want to use people.

Did your doctor give you any other diagnosis in addition to PTSD?

 

[Sarah542]

@Tanishq Yes it has been stuck in my head, I have no idea about brain washed.i think my Dr wanted me to stop? But it did stope when i left university.

@Radise, I have no intention of repeating again. But my issue is what if I use this person just because I want company?

I dont think i could live with myself if i was doing it consciously!

This using people for sex was at my university on nights out and stuff. I also abused alcohol. My life is different now as I am home. I am much more settled now :)

No idea what the underlying issue is. Havent got to it yet.
He says the time between the appointments make me work on stuff rather than relying on him each week. I could get addicted to the once weekly sessions.

Thank you this has been most helpful

 

[Sarah542]

@digger

No he's not a psychiatrist or psychologist just a GP that has done a few courses in mental health.

I dont feel I am getting enough support. Today for example has been pretty bad and I went to see him monday and he sort of dismissed me or i felt like i was being dismissed. He handed me back the problem and said I need to work on stuff.


Everybody else's opinion, I'm still trying to find out the underlying issue. I don't know what my traumas have been, I have a vague idea.

I know its harmful to me too I didnt know what I was doing or why i was doing it. Apparently the Dr said it was one of my risky behaviours.