Attacking Members On The Forum Affects Other Members!

[becvan]

I want to put this out there and hopefully most read this. Lately there has been piles of attack posts. There have been accusations, insults etc... Anthony has gotten the worst of it but I've had it slung my way also, so has Nicolette and a pile of other members. When one member states thier opinion and then gets attacked for it it's not pretty. Now I can see this once or twice (we all have bad days.) But this has been ongoing for awhile now.

In one thread I spoke up and then was accused of ganging up with Anthony. I said something else to the OP, realized I had misread it and apologized. I then agreed with a post that Anthony did not agree with! Yet still I was ganging up! I've watched the whole snowball affect where one person goes.. how dare you... then a bunch of members jump on the bandwagon and start flinging mud.

Now I do have a point to this (I'm just using myself as an example here.) These type of posts keep others out of the threads where they might have otherwise posted something that was relevant to the OP. This includes me! I've left a few threads in just the last two days because of mud flinging. I actually had something to say about the topic but haven't posted because I'll be damned if I'm going to get in the middle of it when all I want is to just share what I see or what I experienced. Attacking members affects all members!

Take what you need and leave the rest!!!!!!!

I realize that we are not all going to agree and that sometimes emotions run really high but this constant, how dare you say that you meanie, attitude is getting sickening. I don't know if it's spring fever or something but I just wanted this out there. It affects us all. Please stop and think before reacting and posting when upset.

bec

 

[lovinbiker]

Take what you need and leave the rest!!!!!!!

I realize that we are not all going to agree and that sometimes emotions run really high but this constant, how dare you say that you meanie, attitude is getting sickening. I don't know if it's spring fever or something but I just wanted this out there. It affects us all. Please stop and think before reacting and posting when upset.

bec

I was sorry to read about this as I have been off the forum for a few days. I do think you have stated a very good point Bec and I agree with what you have said. Having an atmosphere that prevents people from being able to post an opinion ( and it always just an individuals opinion) is never going to be good for a forum or more importantly for helping the members on it.

I dont wanna ramble on but I will say I always liked having responses of two extremes as it always helped me get a perspective for myself. As you say Bec Take what you need and leave the rest.
LB

 

[ronin47]

Hm. Maybe I just haven't been hanging around the "right" forums but in all honesty Bec I've read very few if any posts that I felt were combative or abusive on this discussion board. Maybe I just have different standards for what I consider offensive. I have no problem with differences of opinion either and I don't believe I've ever tried to debate opinions on this board, now if this were a political discussion forum that would be a different matter ;), but you get my point. However, if I feel like someone is being legitimately inconsiderate of someone else's feelings, I'm going to tell them, just like you are right now :). And if you or anyone else ever feel like I'm stepping over the line, by all means, tell me directly.

 

[njray]

Hey I survived a knife attack if anyone needs to throw stones.... throw em my way as they will just bounce off me. As I am "superptsder" the next marvel comic book super hero...... Oh and my super power besides fighting for justice...responding to verbal abuse in invisible text so _____________________________________________yourself! You cowards and no good evil keyboardists. BTW I am recruiting for a sidekick so send me your resumes and instead of a butler I am in search of a polite and politically correct nanny...
And yes i drive around in a VW peacemobile.............................................. hehehe I just crack myself up right Kp the "nut"

 

[amethist]

It could be because the full moon is next Monday. No joke, around February and March's full moon was the same.

 

[lovinbiker]

As I am "superptsder" the next marvel comic book super hero...... Oh and my super power besides fighting for justice...responding to verbal abuse in invisible text so _____________________________________________yourself! You cowards and no good evil keyboardists. BTW I am recruiting for a sidekick so send me your resumes

Thanks for that post really made me laugh. I will forward you my resume as I would love to be a sidekick to a superptsder, Oh wait I am already cos my D is a superptsder even if she doesnt see it herself.
LB

 

[Nicolette]

I would like to add people are who they are. Anthony is blunt, direct & doesnt do warm and fluffy. There are so many comments that he is so harsh. I have had similar ones as I have seen directed at Bec also..

It takes all sorts to make up this world. A myriad of personalities occur in lots of places. It seems this difference is more accepted in the workplace than on a forum.

I can only speak for me and sometimes I am direct and straight to the point due to time constraints or trying to post from a phone like now. I share my opinion in good faith and often don't have time to fluff it up. Personally, while it may initial hurt/shock me, I would rather here it as it is viewed by others than just be dished out sympathy/empathy if I am wanting to change something.

It comes down to what Bec says, if you put it out there, you have to be willing to get a variety of opinions but you control "what you take From it or leave"'.

Also, if you read something you don't like, I suggest you walk away & come back later to try to ensure your response is one out of your truth & not one out of hurt or dislike. And just because you don't like what someone takes the time to share, does not mean the appropriate response is attack. You choose how you react IMHO.

 

[Abbi]

Bec, I have always enjoyed your post very much. I appreciate your taking your time to bring this topic up, as I think even in the smallest forms we need to be cognizant of; I don't think attack posts are extreme here and I'm new here but I have a few observations.

First, we all come with our own set of issues. Some known, some unknown. A group of people suffering from PTSD, well there is going to be a rainbow of reactions naturally.

Anthony does seem to "get it" a little more than others. I see several generally repeating reasons for that, some examples I have seen since I have been here and see similar ones just "cruising" old post. If he ever wants an opinion I figure he is a big boy- he can ask. Big part of that, in my opinion, as the forum admin he is just seen as "authority figure", so naturally his opinions/postings (no Anthony not saying all your posting are based on opinion) garner more attention and maybe more "gusto" in responses. Just as a general statement, I appreciate the job (and OMG it is a job) he does here. I think there is a "tone" he tries to set here, and as it is his forum, I guess folks can take it for what it is. That is not meant judgmentally or intoning any opinion, just is what it is. Did I say, I appreciate the effort and time he obviously puts here? He doesn't particularly come off "warm and fuzzy" all the time, but I take his efforts here as actions of HUGE love and support for those sufferers/carers that find their way here.

For myself, I have started my own little mental list of threads that once I see them "going that way" I am just going to avoid. I generally know the things that "get me going" (some still surprise me and some are just not logical at all) and my best call is to walk away from it before I get caught up in it. Come on folks, its an internet forum, no one but yourself requires you to engage in any of it.

Like Ronin, if you ever feel I step over the line, let me know. Usually I'm happy to explain where I am coming from, I have even been known to recognize when I'm wrong. :eek:

{tone switches to joking}

Now--group hug :tup: ... wait, wait, no that would be a trigger for many. :roflmao:

PS. Pet peeve, read the post clearly before responding. ROFLMAO I just "love" it when someone retorts back regarding something never said. Would it be "attacking" to point that out? Just kidding.

 

[Abbi]

BTW I am recruiting for a sidekick so send me your resumes and instead of a butler I am in search of a polite and politically correct nanny...

ME ME ME! oh wait do I have to do the polite and politically correct part, I can do smart arse annoy you polite? Does that work.

 

[atl22]

Also, if you read something you don't like, I suggest you walk away & come back later to try to ensure your response is one out of your truth & not one out of hurt or dislike.

That has really worked for me. Also, sometimes, I just write what I really want to say, save it as a text document, and re-read it later. I've done that a dozen times so far, and after reading it again later, I think "Dang! I'm soooo glad that I didn't send that!" I have yet to actually post any of those writings. The more that I do that, the more I learn how to control my anger.

Some of the political stuff has almost made me very upset, but then I think "I am not here for politics. I am here to learn to cope with PTSD. That's it. That is my only obligation to myself."

If I vent on this forum, some of these people might begin to hate me and maybe they won't help me. What's the point of that? I need help! I have never seen any person change their political views. That just ain't gonna happen! I mean, don't get me wrong, I enjoy the discussions in Chit Chat, but I just know that it will not benefit me to get upset. Maybe if some of these people lived in my local area and voted, then I would be more inclined to express myself, but they live in different countries or areas and it really does not matter what they think. It interests me, but it is not important.

 

[Nicolette]

I can't quote what Abbi wrote as I can't edit such a large post on my phone but will say this.

"Anthony does seem to know what he is talking about" and I attest to that watching him improve over the four years I have been with him. He doesn't just 'talk the talk' but in fact has 'walked the talk'. That being said what has worked for him may not work for others however I would sit up & at least consider what he has to say about PTSD. And with no bias.

 

[Abbi]

HUH? my post was only talking about attack-type post/or at least those that "feel" that way to some people.

So I'm confused. I actually thought my post was quite appreciative of Anthony's time and efforts here, he actually wasn't the focus of my post just some thoughts on why I think he might "get it" or as Bec said

Anthony has gotten the worst

.

Guess this moves into the whatever category. :cautious: