Becoming Attached To Your T As A Parental Figure?

[Hypothermia2012]

ive seen my t only a handful of times..but already I have created this emotional attachment to him, as if he was a father figure or some kind of protector. It feels wrong... But I feel like I need to tell him I just don't know how to say it without sounding like some kind of creep. I'm 18, he's 30 something and I don't want to say it in a way that sounds like "I'm in love with you", because that's not the case. I'm just afraid I'll tell him and then he will send me to a different t or drop me altogether, and I wouldn't be able to handle it. I don't deal with rejection very well at all... Oh god guys, If you can, help me out.

 

[sun seeker]

I would say it just as you said it at first, that you are developing an emotional attachment to him and see him as a father figure and protector. He'll be expecting that. It's actually a good sign. It means you are projecting feelings onto a safe person if the person who was supposed to fill that role when you were younger, didn't. Much of the important work in therapy comes from talking about this and working it through with your therapist.

What you describe is perfectly normal. Of course, it's not so easy to talk about, but I suggest you bring it up. If he's at all experienced, he'll know how to handle it. Pretty sure they teach them this in therapist school.

 

[Della]

@Hypothermia2012, when you were younger did you have your father in your life? Sometimes that makes a difference. Or sometimes as children, we wish that our mom or dad was like that of the person that we attach ourselves to because at times they seem to be more understanding than our parents and we cannot open up sometimes properly to our parents. Sometimes, people communicate better with their friends and strangers than they do with their own family. I understand what you mean because I have been there honey. I wanted my father to be a certain way but he was not so I began to look to other men for the guidance that I didn't get from him as a child. So I understand where you are coming from sweetie. Sometimes we just want to hold on to that thing that makes us feel secure, safe, and comfortable, and sometimes loved, even if it's only for a little while or a few hours. Hang in there baby. I won't tell him though it's good that you expressed that here on the forum instead of to him. Sometimes, some things are not meant to be said. Best wishes dear. :-)

 

[Hypothermia2012]

I'll bring it up to him...my father was in my life for the first 10 years of it he was an alcoholic, and he was my main abuser. After the first ten years he was in and out of my life for 4 years and then in 2012 he died.. I've always looked at my friends dads and have been extremely jealous over the fact that they had awesome dads and my dad was no where near as good to me as theirs were to them.. Thank you guys for makeing me feel less ashamed of this... I'll mention it to him tomorrow..send me positive thoughts that he doesn't drop me , or think I'm being creepy!

 

[laurainalameda]

My T and I talk about attachment a lot. He says it is a big part of the work for ptsd and dissociative disorders. Im pretty uncomfortable being attached to anyone, and have had to work hard to make my marriage work. Luckily when my kids were born my illness was less active and so we have appropriate attachment. But that's it. So this being attached to my T has been the focus of many sessions of work..

 

[Panda Bear]

I do have an attachment with my T, took close to 3 years to form. We've discussed it, I've whined and complained about how awful I feel. And can't stand that I care some what about him. It's painful!

It never would have formed at quickly as you say.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

This is one of the things that really upsets me about therapy. Because one day, we can never see them again. :cry: I still miss my T from last year and just yesterday I decided to keep a jacket I used to wear when I was going to her (I was going to sell it). It is all I have that makes me feel close to her. :( :shy: