I hope I am poting in the correct thread, there are so many and I can relate to a lot of them. So I guess I need to try and explain (again) as I am sure many of us have done time and time again...so I will try very hard to keep my words short with as much information so that you all can understand, and I may be able to get some more knowledge.
I am the bipolar female, he is the PTSD male. I found out about my bipolar 2 1/2 years ago, on meds, going to counseling, stopped drinking, and trying like heck to learn and put forth all my new skills into my daily life.
Almost one year ago (1 week before bike week in florida :)) he and I met. We literally talked for 6 hours. In this first conversation we talked about everything including the fact that he was molested by his step mom and beat by his father from 8-14yrs. No mention of eiether mental illness at this point. He came to the shop the day he was leaving for florida. (later on I was told by my boss, and by him, that he literally turned around on the highway just to see me again). Well, that was the start to a relationship I thought that was only made in heaven.
Every day when he was at bike week he texted me and shared his day, said that he wishes I was there, and even he couldn't wait to get home to see me. Couple days after he got home, he walked into the hallway at my workplace (ok, little explaination he is uppity up in the railroad industry and I was office manager to the shop his fleet got fixed at). I walked out into the hall and he and I literally stood there staring into each others eyes holding one another, WOW talk about walking on clouds.
Okay so he moved in a couple weeks later, said it was good to be home, told me we were moving to S.carolina cause he was getting a promotion in August, leave your job if you would like to go. I left my job because May and June I traveled with him to all of his work stuff.
Got home, two weeks later, July 1, was his first struggle that I witnessed with PTSD. He literally moved everything out, wrote me a letter saying he was so sorry he is just "F***D" up right now. I was torn. But I turned to god, my bipolar skills, and keeping myself extremely busy, and also trying to find a job because the promotion did not go through.
We talked towards the end of Sept, and then he said he wanted to come back home October 1. I suggested maybe he wait until December (another promotion he was up for). He insisted on moving back home.
Well, it was really good. we shared and talked about many different things. November he started working literally 90 hours a week. (had to in some cases, other times, now I believe he was just keeping his brain busy).
Fast forward to now, he moved out again in January saying the same thing from the first time. I have always respected him and how important his work is to him, but lately, it does not matter if I text (yes, text, because I am scared to make a phone call), he gets angry with me.
Again and again I try to recognize his PTSD. I have done so much reading this is my second chat room joined, and now, he is still being nasty, now he is going to Florida again for business (which half in my head is true) because bike week starts also.
I dont know how to even begin conversation anymore. I am so scared of him being mean. In my case, it affects my bipolar, and I struggle with that. However, now, I just think he is being a complete jerk.
Please help. Please share your knowledge, books to read, simple phrases I can use. He still tells me he loves me, but I am the only one that has stood by his side. The other day I even suggested that I am one of the few that can actually understand mental illness, not neccissarily his entire story of PTSD, but okay way too much written. I am sorry.
Please help.
<Edited for basic grammar and paragraphing.>
I am the bipolar female, he is the PTSD male. I found out about my bipolar 2 1/2 years ago, on meds, going to counseling, stopped drinking, and trying like heck to learn and put forth all my new skills into my daily life.
Almost one year ago (1 week before bike week in florida :)) he and I met. We literally talked for 6 hours. In this first conversation we talked about everything including the fact that he was molested by his step mom and beat by his father from 8-14yrs. No mention of eiether mental illness at this point. He came to the shop the day he was leaving for florida. (later on I was told by my boss, and by him, that he literally turned around on the highway just to see me again). Well, that was the start to a relationship I thought that was only made in heaven.
Every day when he was at bike week he texted me and shared his day, said that he wishes I was there, and even he couldn't wait to get home to see me. Couple days after he got home, he walked into the hallway at my workplace (ok, little explaination he is uppity up in the railroad industry and I was office manager to the shop his fleet got fixed at). I walked out into the hall and he and I literally stood there staring into each others eyes holding one another, WOW talk about walking on clouds.
Okay so he moved in a couple weeks later, said it was good to be home, told me we were moving to S.carolina cause he was getting a promotion in August, leave your job if you would like to go. I left my job because May and June I traveled with him to all of his work stuff.
Got home, two weeks later, July 1, was his first struggle that I witnessed with PTSD. He literally moved everything out, wrote me a letter saying he was so sorry he is just "F***D" up right now. I was torn. But I turned to god, my bipolar skills, and keeping myself extremely busy, and also trying to find a job because the promotion did not go through.
We talked towards the end of Sept, and then he said he wanted to come back home October 1. I suggested maybe he wait until December (another promotion he was up for). He insisted on moving back home.
Well, it was really good. we shared and talked about many different things. November he started working literally 90 hours a week. (had to in some cases, other times, now I believe he was just keeping his brain busy).
Fast forward to now, he moved out again in January saying the same thing from the first time. I have always respected him and how important his work is to him, but lately, it does not matter if I text (yes, text, because I am scared to make a phone call), he gets angry with me.
Again and again I try to recognize his PTSD. I have done so much reading this is my second chat room joined, and now, he is still being nasty, now he is going to Florida again for business (which half in my head is true) because bike week starts also.
I dont know how to even begin conversation anymore. I am so scared of him being mean. In my case, it affects my bipolar, and I struggle with that. However, now, I just think he is being a complete jerk.
Please help. Please share your knowledge, books to read, simple phrases I can use. He still tells me he loves me, but I am the only one that has stood by his side. The other day I even suggested that I am one of the few that can actually understand mental illness, not neccissarily his entire story of PTSD, but okay way too much written. I am sorry.
Please help.
<Edited for basic grammar and paragraphing.>
