Body Memory?

[theotherside]

I have a long story of abuse/trauma. Right now though one of my traumas is fighting for first place.

It happened in a hospital when I was just 16. Very painful and traumatic. I don't want to get into what happened but I was screaming in pain and begging them to stop. The doctor and nurses made a big mistake and then tried to cover it up.

I had no family support to help me through that time. I got through it and fast forward to now. I keep having that feeling and pain I had in the emergency room. Could it be a body memory?

 

[theotherside]

That got posted before I was done. So I wanted to say that the physical pain I felt that night I keep feeling now. Over and over, then I think of that night

 

[Deleted member 20280]

One word,IMHO Yes.

I get them all the time after a physical spinal injury in the Military

 

[joeylittle]

Is it at all possible that the pain is due to whatever happened in the procedure that they botched?

Once you've ruled that out then, it sounds like a body memory to me. I only get them when something happens to set them off, although I don't always know til after when it was that set it off, if that makes sense. Getting rid of them can be hard.

 

[theotherside]

@joeylittle no that's not possible. This is the first time I had that pain since that night 16 years ago in the hospital.

It is a stressful time for me so that might explain it.

 

[joeylittle]

Stress, definitely can be a trigger. Mine get worse when I'm working on issues around them in therapy, also. To be honest, I don't have the slightest idea how they actually are even possible, but I know that I have them. So, you're not alone, if that helps. I do think it's important to move your body out of the memory as expeditiously as possible, and you might need to experiment some. I don't find that willing it to calm down works. But giving my body something else to do often helps.

 

[theotherside]

The best way I can describe is I feel them doing that to me like that night in the hospital. And then I get real bad anxiety

 

[theotherside]

@joeylittle thanks that really helps. This is the first time I have ever had this happen...although at the dentist and doctor I get a similar feeling. But this is just at home anytime and its so bad I cringe and try to cover my body ( like curl up)

 

[shimmerz]

it's important to move your body out of the memory as expeditiously as possible,

I feel like this is such an important piece.

 

[WildMermaid]

Oh yes body memories can be very harsh. One of my surgeries did not go according to plane and the head surgeon made a big mistake, I woke up on the operating table and felt all the pain and could hear the bone saw, they cursed loudly, and put me under fast. Sometimes for no reason I'll wake up in the middle of the night feeling and hearing that moment, and after screaming awake I move around, make sure I can move my leg, and remember that was then this is now. Getting yourself out of whatever position you're in may help, as well as reminding yourself that you are safe, that is not your current reality. Good luck!

 

[oasis2003]

Yes I get pain from surgery that was years ago. It is hard to convince your self that it was in the past when it hurts in the moment and it hurts again and again. I am sure that I woke up during surgery, or stopped breathing or something but I will never know. I blocked the pain when recovering from multiple operations in the same general area. So I suppose the pain is coming back to haunt me now......:eek: