Supporter Boyfriend Has Ptsd

[JennJenn]

I am currently in a relationship with someone who has been suffering from PTSD for a few years now. This is our third attempt at a relationship. The first time we didn't realize that his PTSD was the ultimate reason for us going our separate ways. A few months later we started dating again only to realize that the relationship was causing him to have anxiety attacks. We both started seeing therapists, but the relationship was at a point that it was effecting his everyday life and work. We decided that it would be best if we broke up. About 5 weeks ago we decided to try a much slower approach to our relationship. We are spending more time apart and taking things slow. We have not made it past 8- 10 weeks in our previous attempts. I would greatly appreciate any advice or tips that I could receive. This is extremely emotionally draining on me as well.

 

[kahlan]

Keep taking the slow approach. Its really easy to get swept away in the initial intensity. And make sure you're taking care of you!

 

[Sweetpea76]

Welcome to the forum JennJenn! Third time's a charm, eh? :)

I always recommend a book to supporters on here, "The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy" by Diane England. It's a good introductory to PTSD and all, but it has an excellent section on conflict resolution. It teaches you some methods to use instead of "arguing" with your sufferer and escalating the situation. These methods have helped my vet and I talk things out numerous times.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[intothelight]

Hi JennJenn,

Welcome to MyPTSD forum! :)

There is an entire section for supporters that I hope you find helpful. This disorder makes maintaining a healthy relationship difficult and this forum is a good place for information and support for yourself.

Wishing you the best.

Debbie

 

[JennJenn]

Thank you everyone for the support. It helps knowing that there are others out there that I understand my situation.
Sweetpea, I will definitely look into the book you mentioned.

 

[JennJenn]

@sweetpea Thank you so much for suggesting "The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy". I received my copy of this book in the mail today. I have already read over 70 of the pages. Although, my boyfriend and I have to decided to end the relationship for the time being I am still reading the book.

He wants to get back to a place he feels healthy. I understand this and am being supporter of him taking time to himself. He told me that he is considering couple's therapy for the future. I don't want to push him I want him to decide what he can deal with on his time.

 

[Sweetpea76]

It's a great book JennJenn, and it really lays things out in a simple way. There are a few things I don't completely agree with in it (like how it seems to be more"forgiving" towards infidelity), but overall it is a great reference.