Can Anyone Tell Me They Have Learned To Trust Again?

[just me here]

tired of the fight:

Will Rogers said that the first thing you do when you realise you are stuck in a hole is stop digging. I have stopped digging this hole I guess, I bounce off of religious women as best I can. Unfortunately I still have to work with them, and I have them in my family. Honestly I think trying to force my prejudices aside just puts me and them in danger of what happens when they fail to live up to their own "high" standards. I have to cling to the idea that putting up a clear boundary is an act of kindness. I am protecting them from themselves and my rage when I remove myself and my prejudices from the equation. Religious zeal and judgemental communication styles supplied by them + total apathy and a predetermined resolve to disengage from all contact brought to the equation by me = zero rage and zero digging of the hole. Thats as good as it gets.

 

[Anna]

Sadly no. I will probably never trust a human being again, ever.

 

[tired of the fight]

Anna,

I'm sorry, I know trusting is so very hard. I wish I could say something to help <3

 

[Anna]

I am not a big fan of people. I prefer animals or nature. I know I am paranoid and that I have a problem, so that helps me deal with day to day life.

Most people see me as rude, rough (I say what I think) and avoidant. They often pass it off as me just being shy. Also people annoy me incredibly.

I believe everyone has the darkness inside them. The raw primal animal which comes out in times of horror, when that happens then you see the good or the bad in the person. We forget we are the most deadliest species on the planet.

 

[tired of the fight]

Anna,

You are who you are. Your stronger than you think, I believe

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Yes. I was involved with a Sociopath who pretended to be a Christian and used it to manipulate me. I feel this type of trauma is very insidious. If you are at all spiritual, it literally wrecks you . . .I cannot even begin to describe what it did to me and I really haven't thus far.

I am here to tell you that yes, it is possible to learn to trust again. I have....it was NOT easy!! It took me two years to stop painting him, my current husband with that brush every day. I still do sometimes but it gets less and less.

I don't trust anyone else yet but because of this one experience, where before I didn't believe it was possible ever again, I have hope again.

Yes. It is possible.

 

[nomedic1]

I say yes you can learn to trust again.

 

[Raj]

I trust my wife and for me that is even scary at times, other than her I will never be able to trust another human being again. Too many relationships have backfired.

 

[Jenfa]

I don't think so much I've learned to "trust" so much as accept people. I know there's the potential that they will fail me in every way possible, so I don't expect the next person I put faith in to be superhuman and make me happy 4-eva. As long as I can trust myself and my reactions to bad situations, then what other people do does not shock or surprise me.. or hurt me, for that matter. They are human, and chances are that I have messed up way more than they have lmao

 

[twopenny]

I think you can learn to trust - though I'm not sure about the idea of trusting everybody the instant that you meet them.

I trust my husband, I trust a few close friends. That's about it. I don't trust everybody I meet - my default setting is usually openness with a high level of suspicion. I know that sounds paradoxical, but what I mean, is I don't hide myself, and I'm generally open and honest, but I don't emotionally connect with anybody until I feel I can trust them. With some people that may take weeks or months, with others - well, there are people I've known for decades and don't trust.

Hub has a problem trusting women - I'm not sure why, as his PTSD is from combat - but there it is. He can count on one hand the women he trusts (happy to say I'm at the top of the list).

I find it interesting that a friend (one not in the trusted category) keeps sending me messages telling me to 'be careful with 'x' person', or 'you can't trust 'y' person'. So far I haven't had the heart to tell her that I'd worked that out several years before she did...


But anyway, having rambled on, the short version is yes, you can learn to trust again, but it may be that it takes time, and that you have to take it on an individual basis, rather than expecting to trust every person you meet.

 

[Spiderallis]

It is possible- not easy, but it may be worth the effort. My sweetie and I both needed to work at a slow pace to trust each other, different but similar reasons. As we both were comfortable with a baby-steps pace, it worked great.

I'd still run pretty quick from anyone asking me trust them without providing proof through their actions. If they have to ask for trust, they haven't earned it. Some friends and acquaintances are aware of why I take so long to open up- in vague terms. It's a bit of a filter really. A manipulative person wouldn't have patience enough to let me learn to trust them. It's still a bit defensive, but there's a hole in the walls I've built.

 

[LostWorld]

Right now no, could I learn to trust again? I believe in time I could.