Can't Do This Life Anymore!

[Notsowild]

It's not getting better. Ever time I try to get better life knocks me down again. I can't keep up the facade. I can't keep hurting the people I love. I can't handle this anger boiling up inside me. I can't handle no sleep, more dissociation and anxiety. When will this get better?

 

[joeylittle]

I don't have an answer, @Notsowild, but I know I've been feeling that way too. So (if it helps), you're not alone.

 

[Senecia]

Sometimes things seem like they're not getting better when chaos is going on around us. But you're learning. Take a deep breath. It's okay to feel angry and feel like it won't get better. We can't predict the future, but we can most definitely pave a path for ourselves. At the end of the day, know that you are in control...even if it doesn't feel like it. I'm rooting for you.

 

[Recovery4Me]

When will this get better?

I have found as I have learned to forgive myself, I have become gentler on others. That I believe was my hardest step. Less guilt, less shame, less weight to carry...as Simply Simon (our Staff member) offers ...give away the stone.

Many of us here are learning to self regulate, as we face & heal our trauma with our eyes wide open. No small feat. :hug:

 

[Digz]

It will get better. I promise. PTSD will always be with you, but it will begin to kick your ar#* less and less every year. Hang in there. You can do it. Just think about an hour at a time. What can you do this hour? Then think of how you will get through the next when you get to it.
When people told me it would get better, I never believed them. It is true. Of course you still have your crappy moments, but you will get to a stage where much more of the time you feel OK and you can live your life.
Also, remember, no matter how much you think you're hurting and affecting the people you love... they would much prefer to have you around, than not have you around... regardless of how well you are. They love you. Hold onto that feeling and try to help it get you this crappy time.
Good luck. xxx

 

[anthony]

Ever time I try to get better life knocks me down again.

One of the first rules with attempting to heal trauma and manage PTSD, is to get your life in a place that has security and routine.

Life knocking you down is a different problem from PTSD or trauma.

 

[danny33]

So true anthony. I have an unstable partner which can inflame my symptoms but my home life if fairly settled at the moment and with that so my symptoms have calmed down.
Are you taking any medication notsowild? I hate tablets but my Anxiety had become unbearable and they are helping with that at the moment and allowing me to focus more on my therapy.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I hear you. Life won't be perfect, but it sure is harder to deal with. I have been feeling similarly lately. But I keep on plunging ahead because there's got to be more than seemingly constant pain and suffering. I hope you can find ways to make your life feel more hopeful.

 

[TXbandit]

I felt like this a few weeks ago after a major trigger episode. It really opened my eyes to how much I was in avoidance and denial about how I was dealing with everything in an unhealthy way. Self medicating, not processing my feelings, lashing out at people and isolating. It was me all along. Not life..

Sometimes you have to take advantage of "life" kicking your ass and say " What can I do to fight back? What can I change that can make this better? What do I need to do to control my life, my actions, words etc.."

Don't give up! Make positive, baby step changes and see how that goes. We're rootin for ya! :hug:s if you accept.

 

[Notsowild]

@joeylittle...Aw so sorry to hear you're feeling bad. Just remember what a terrific person you are and we all love you here. :hug:my friend

Sometimes things seem like they're not getting better when chaos is going on around us. But you're learning. Take a deep breath. It's okay to feel angry and feel like it won't get better. I'm rooting for you.

Thank you. I definetly have too much chaos around me. This anger is all new to me. Must be part therapy and an abusive boss that won't go away. How do you deal with anger?

I have found as I have learned to forgive myself, I have become gentler on others. That I believe was my hardest step. Less guilt, less shame, less weight to carry :hug:

Thank you so much. Forgive myself for the childhood abuse? I know I feel a lot of shame. I feel everyone can see this sexually abused person. I feel so much different than everyone else.

 

[Notsowild]

It will get better. I promise. PTSD will always be with you, but it will begin to kick your ar#* less and less every year. Hang in there. You can do it. Just think about an hour at a time. What can you do this hour? Then think of how you will get through the next when you get to it.
Good luck. xxx

It's been almost 2 years since my last trauma. Since then I've been putting up with this abusive boss who instead of being understanding, she trying anything in her power to get me fired. So my stress cup is overflowing. Do you work? And thank you so much for your advice.

One of the first rules with attempting to heal trauma and manage PTSD, is to get your life in a place that has security and routine.

Thank you. Well my work is a good routine but I have no security and more stress and triggers there. What percentage of people work with PTSD? I guess that would depend on the severity and stress of the job itself. Have you ever had anger issues? This is new to me.

Are you taking any medication notsowild? I hate tablets but my Anxiety had become unbearable and they are helping with that at the moment and allowing me to focus more on my therapy.

Oh yes I take meds. My psychiatrist has tried alot of different meds on me. Most I was allergic too or they knock me on my ass. I found clonazapam worked well on my hypervigilance and startling. And I'm on zopicloine for sleep. But I find now they're not working as well. I have to double the recommended dose to have any affect on me. I'll be seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow to discuss this matter. Thank you so much for caring.

 

[danny33]

It's so hard everyday to dig myself out of bed and get to work. I'm lucky i have a very chilled understanding boss but my heart go's out to you it must be really tough. The zopiclone is good in the short term but definitely loses its effectiveness quite quickly. I'm allergic to the ssri's but i have minimal side effects from tricyclic antidepressants and they seem to work really well for my panic and anxiety although i was very numb and didn't sleep well with clomipramine. Some can be very sedating initially but it has always worn off with me after 2 or 3 weeks but we are all different. I just hope that I can heal and be medication free one day soon.
Massive heartfelt hugs notsowild, it will get better :-)