Catholic Guilt

[Chrisc0295]

I find that my biggest struggle after leaving the Roman Catholic Church is extreme guilt, anxiety and fear. Is that normal? Has anyone experienced that after leaving a religion?

 

[macbeth]

Yes I have. I have a mixed catholic/fundamentalist christian background and found that my religious upbringing contributed to the trauma. I was taught for example that divorce was a sin that would send you to hell. It took me years to leave my violent husband because of this. The guilt and fear still remains with me today.

 

[Chrisc0295]

I am glad to know that i am not alone. The divorce teaching i really struggled with, and when I dared question it I was called a "cafeteria Catholic". I wish I never joined the Catholic Church

 

[macbeth]

I still identify as a christian but with no denomination and a lot of spirituality. Man made churchs are very different from the teachings of christ with varying rules. You are certainly not alone @Chrisc0295. Sometimes these teachings can do more harm that good.

 

[Chrisc0295]

I am the same way. I belong to no denomination, and I am spiritual. yes there are so many hateful man-made churches. I am glad that you contacted me. I needed someone to talk to. I hope to be an avid part of this forum

 

[shimmerz]

The Catholic church ripped my family apart. It was horrible. I didn't leave my ex who was super abusive because I knew it would kill my father if I divorced. A friend of mine back in the day married in the Catholic Church. Found his wife sleeping with someone else 2 weeks after marrying. Church allowed annulment for a fee of 10K. lol. I didn't realize you could pay your way back into heaven.

Not real big on man made religions. Nope. I think they are as damaging as cults. And don't get me started on what they did to the Native Americans, and young boys, not to mention their discipline practices with children (of which none of them have).

 

[ms spock]

@Chrisc0295 Yes and yes and yes!

 

[Kefira]

I was ordained as an interspiritual minister and at least in my seminary we talked a lot about spiritual wounds from past religious affiliations. That can happen in a lot of ways from institutionalized abuse to well meaning people using faith to guilt or injure to individuals in power in a church or place of worship taking advantage of those under them. But I think it's important to know that this is recognized among clergy and is being talked about among leaders of various faiths.

For me it's important to realize that most of the problems are caused by people - groups or individuals. Having faith isn't the problem, even having a particular religion isn't the real problem. The problem is people and the fallability of individuals, particularly those who find themselves in a position of power or viewed as somehow closer to God.

If you can find a good spiritual counselor you might get some helpful input on how to balance and work through those feelings. I'd look for a non-denominational or interfaith one though.

 

[shrinkingviolet]

I myself am a Christian. To me, it is not about judgement and condemnation. It's about love, compassion and faith. Unfortunately, so many take and twist things turning it ugly. Don't ever feel guilty for protecting and standing up for yourself.

 

[ms spock]

The sexual abuse in the Catholic church is so inextricably linked to it that a young man just disclosed the sexual abuse and even his parents turned against him - it is trained in to you to be a victim, to be an accomplice or to be a perpetrator. I can't believe what I hearing about right now.

 

[ihateusernames]

I was never Catholic, but yes, I do have similar experience. My religion stopped making sense for me after some life events and I have felt kind of lost and isolated and sad about it for years. I also feel a disconnect with some family members and friends that I was close to when I held similar beliefs. Honestly, I doubt that they would actually see me much differently if I just put it all out there, it's all guilt and shame-based inside of me. But there is no going back. I can't ever be that person again.

 

[StarChild]

I didn't realize you could pay your way back into heaven.

@shimmerz....That's a joke, isn't it? I'm sure you heard of the German reformist Martin Luther and his opponent, the papal commissioner Johann Tetzel? He (Martin Luther) fought against the "selling of indulgences" (Ablasshandel) of Johann Tetzel. Because exactly that (selling of indulgences) tipped the scales of Luthers 95 theses, and was furthermore the "start of reformation". I put in a link to a text passage of Wikipedia, which deals with the "paying your way back into heaven" as you call it ;).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther#Start_of_the_Reformation