Chaotic Living Spaces, And Disorganization

[SeanCharles]

Looking around the house today, I notice that I tend to ignore my living space. I have been struggling with this for a long time and I feel it's time that I put this post out about this issue as I know I am likely not alone in struggling with this issue.

My thoughts are that because I do so much cleaning on my job, the last thing I want to do when I get home is more cleaning! I realize though too the benefits of having an organized and clean space. I am wondering too if there isn't also something deeper to this issue also.

I know that I do have the skill sets to do the cleaning tasks, even when they get overwhelming. Maybe it's a lack of motivation?


Any feedback on this is welcomed!


Geordie

 

[franciemarnie]

One time I moved to a new apartment. I'd lived there a couple months before a friend come over. It was an unplanned visit. I gave her a quick tour. As we were leaving, we passed the kitchen and my friend said, Whoa! What's with your kitchen.

I suddenly noticed my apartment was perfectly clean, but my kitchen was a filthy mess.

I laughed as we walked out the door and said without thinking, That's my childhood.

I don't know if you identify with that at all, but I was always neat and clean at work and in my person, but I tended to keep my home where I lived alone disheveled, dark, disorganized, undusted, a chaotic mess. Not cozy, warm, bright and clean. I guess I connected a dark mess with home.

That's changed for me now though I have to watch it. Stuff starts piling up on surfaces fast!

Also, when I was depressed, I didn't have energy to clean. It was all I could do to get to work every day. Weekends I collapsed until Monday.

 

[SeanCharles]

Yea! I can empathize with that, especially the kitchen, which is kinda what prompted this post.

Stuff starts piling up on surfaces fast!

yep! That's a big one for me at home. I completely relate to your post and wonder if in ways I am outwardly negatively portraying my childhood to some extent. I also was diagnosed with ADHD (initially at the age of 2! and then later in 1989) which may be a resistance to want to organize and live chaos free.

Thanks! :)

 

[Meadowsweet]

I might sound a bit strange saying this, but I sometimes feel that the way the house is reflects how I'm feeling. Like it's an expression of emotion (or feeling messy in my mind). It's more than lack of motivation, it's almost deliberate, childishly stubborn.

It might also be a subtle self harming behavior. When things are tidy, I'm calmer, and living in a mess makes me feel crap.

Now, I tend to be tidier where I sit, in the living room, so I can relax. It tends to be my bedroom that gets really messy.

But I do feel there's more underlying issues (for me), rather than not wanting to tidy.

 

[SeanCharles]

Both of these responses do make sense. I am wondering too if it's not a more complex situation which even with support help, I am currently without, didn't understand either because I am complex and have had many varying opinions of me by even educators. One of which was a resource teacher (special education) who told my parents at the time that I was 'lazy'! ha! ha... (No offense intended here because I know not all people of a culture are as one person can be, they were from NZ Or possibly Australia I believe.)

 

[ghotiff]

For me, two main things pop out

I found clutter was a welcome distraction from having a clear space in which to think (and then have to accept my issues). Just before starting the idea of therapy, I spent a year de cluttering. I think now that there was a connection.

Also, objects are stable and safe. They don't betray you etc.

If you want a good de clutter resource starting point, I really like Peter Walsh. A kind hearted, practical de clutter professional who is very into the psychology of clutter. He is on you tube etc.

 

[SeanCharles]

Hmmm... This might be something to consider given I do utilize YouTube quite a bit... @ghotiff Thanks for this information! :)

 

[Pencil]

I hate mess, I LOVE a clean, clear, open space. Guess what? My house is usually a mess. I so want to clean and tidy and order - but feel paralyzed. I can't explain it, and it is not mere laziness.

 

[SeanCharles]

Yeah, I am glad I started this thread! My bedroom, growing up, was always messy! Now as an adult, I deal with this issue too... I wonder too if perhaps there isn't some other emotional undercurrent involved with issue, at least for me I seem to think so, at least right now as I am obviously aware that this is a major issue!

 

[franciemarnie]

It is interesting to think how our personally controlled environment can reflect our state of mind or past. Now that I live with someone who is clean and organized, I pretty much stay that way too. But I notice that when I am not dealing with issues, usually family, the area behind the cabinets in the vanity in my bathroom really starts piling up with "crap". Major metaphor. I can tell how I am doing just by that.

 

[Pencil]

My cupboards, bookshelves and handbag are always perfectly ordered. However, when I no longer want to live in a place my wardrobe becomes a mess. I often know that I want to move (and I move a LOT) when I notice my wardrobe becoming a mess - and long before my need to move on becomes conscious. And no matter how much of a mess my place is, it is always clean. I'll move piles of stuff around to clean. So why can't I tidy up? I want to but can't. It really defeats me - both the piles of stuff and the issue.

 

[open eyes]

I think you can read into this as much or as little as you want to. I haven't read the other comments so I'm not sure if I'm repeating anyone but; your living space is a very personal thing & how you treat it could possibly be a reflection of how you feel about yourself.