Childhood Childish

[Born to Run]

She woke from a long sleep, and is here to stay, and I'm just glad she's alive.

Wow that is so wonderful! :happy:

I don't know how to go into therapy as I know I'll regress during sessions as I once did. Not sure if that is a wise idea and it feels frightening.

From your OP I thought your therapist was a current therapist, but that does not matter. You do express a wish to go back to therapy. Do you experience the child part(s) and the adult as two different entities in one body? Like in some situations, like Lewa described, you really have the child part working against your adult part? If this were the case you would need to integrate the child parts with the adult. If you already spent so much time on recovering the child, I would not be sure if you would need to go down that deep again. Of course, you yourself knows best, and it sounds like you have already done a lot of good work in therapy.

 

[Go Hungry]

Yay! for survival. Yeah, I sometimes forget that. He took the horror so that I could live. He accepted damnation so that I could have a chance. He did keep me alive, even though all he wants to do is die. My poor friend...

 

[WildMermaid]

@Go Hungry have you ever tried to let him write? or maybe "deface" something that is safe to deface? (examples: paper, cardboard box, canvas, property you own)

 

[Go Hungry]

Oh, he's written here before. It doesn't go well... And I end up being triggered for so long, I don't want to risk it. I've reached a pretty stable place in my life right now, and I really need to keep that going, for other people as well as myself. Tell you what. Next time he's about I'll try and write something, if he can remember to. He's so angry that he has trouble thinking sometimes.

 

[garden]

Oooohhhh @Born to Run you said something that sounds exciting and scary and wonderful!

you really have the child part working against your adult part? If this were the case you would need to integrate the child parts with the adult.

I wanna be integrated! So much to look forward to!

 

[WildMermaid]

@Born to Run she surfaced long ago but I ignored her...she awoke all of the way in my therapist's office doing EMDR and I had a full on panic attack. It took a long time but when we went back and honored her she just sort of settled into me. i have days where i feel too little to handle things, but (usually) i do them anyway and then she/me can be ourselves again. I always feel like I'm play acting being an adult. >.< *blush* That little part of me is really fun though loves Disney, theme parks, swimming, and still can kick @ss in dangerous situations. ;)

How is it/was it for you and that side of yourself @Born to Run?

 

[WildMermaid]

I don't have multiples in that I am aware of each of the other versions. My five year old self is I guess my baseline though. lol. I've a meaner funnier teen side, a mother side, and we just all combine into this goofy being. *smiles*

 

[WildMermaid]

@Lewa @Born to Run @Hope4Now and at @Go Hungry It is really nice not to feel alone on this. :hug:

 

[garden]

@WildMermaid This is why I love this site, so many amazing human beings who have so much to offer each other, and they do...

I'm so grateful.

 

[WildMermaid]

and on a side note... i LOVE your coloring pages they are scrumptious @Lewa

 

[Born to Run]

I was very fragmented and had (still a few to go) many child parts split off myself. It was not as you describe like finding one child, but during therapy part by part came forward and was integrated. My therapist does both somatic experiencing and ego state therapy and this combines very well to integrate parts. No, I do not have multiples either, saw your message come in wild mermaid. Ego state therapy was developed by a couple in the US the Watsons and is very good to work with these fragmented ego/child states.
Recently, I am going through the very early baby parts and then it is like my body remembers certain things and through SE I feel into the body, then for example there was a very neglected child, that I felt, but through my bodily memories and movements only. It is the connection between the split off part, as I never had known I was neglected to such an extent, so to bring this part into awareness, feel it and then it will be integrated with the adult bunch.

 

[Born to Run]

@Lewa @WildMermaid yes I totally agree with you that this is an amazing place with very kind people that somehow have a common language :hug: